Trucks In Space'
by keiman and kei
Summary: Takes place several yrs after 'Angelic Pyramid'. Kei takes the cadets on a tng mission which soon escalates to the real thing when someone starts hijacking space truckers!
1. Chapter 1'Angels&Ships&Trouble'Redhead

'TRUCKS IN SPACE'

DISCLAIMER: We wanna thank Mr Takachiho for the use of his Angelic creations and all the other folks who are kind enough to allow us to use their creations. Any of our own stuff well anyone is welcome to use them so long as we get credit for them. OK Edna honey suppose you set the stage for everyone since you, Rio, Angie, Mar and Kome are the major characters after myself and the redheaded nightmare.

Well me, Rio and Angie are third year tro-con student cadets at godd old Takachiho Academy for the 3WA. Our dean and proctor (Aunties Kei O'Halloran and Yuri Donovan) are in charge of the training missions and their execs are Marlene Angel and Kome Sawaguchi. Oh yeah I'm Edna Jordan and my pals are Rio DelCroix and Angela de Roncesvalles.

Our training mission started out without Miss Donovan whom Mr Garner made stay behind to run the Academy but less than two weeks into the mission Miss O'Halloran got a call from Mr Garner. He told her to curtail the mission and report back to the Academy really quick! When we arrived, Mr Garner placed Miss Ella (Hathaway) in charge of the Academy and ordered both of my aunties, my two pals and myself, Miss Kome and Miss Marlene along with several other higher ranking 3WA officers to immediately report to his office on Alderaan. For the trip we used two of the four shuttles- the 'Raphael' and the 'Leonardo' which were piloted by Captain Bluesummers and Miss Angel respectively.

We all rode on Miss O's shuttle the 'Raphael' while Miss Angel ferried the rest of the higher ups and Miss D on the 'Leonardo'. When we arrived, for some darn reason, we were ordered to change into civvies and stand by for a briefing. It really sounded very hush hush to us! I may as well tell ya that all third year cadets are 'ensigns' with the exception of Angie who is a 1st Lt and an acting Captain! I understood but Rio and Kome grumbled about that a lot! I mean Kome's a 1st looey too but not an acting anything and Rio and I are lucky to be ensigns after the last incident we were involved in but the less said abou that mess the better!

Furthermore when we were all changing into spiffy civvies, Miss O and Miss D came in and announced that Mr Garner wanted us all to look like bums! Actaually Miss O said that she wanted us all to look like we were on what the ancient Terrans called 'welfare'! Rio got upset because she had a new micro-miniskirt outfit in a darling shade of green taht she had been dying to show off to the gang. Nothing in our school wardrobes seemed old and dirty and dingy enough for Miss O though so she had Miss D rep up some of the most horrible and smelly fuku (clothing) she could and BION that is what we had to wear! The briefing was short, terse and to the point.

It seemed that 'space pirates' were 'hijacking' space going delivery trucks or oro Mr Hugh and Mr Alex of the 'Ice Road Brigade' called 'rigs' and 'semis' and what Mr Bear called 'tractors and trailers'! In order to stop these 'shenanigans' and capture the 'brains' behind the operation, we were to pose as 'truckers'- three to a vessel.

I drew the short straw so our driver was Miss O whom I was ordered to call 'Dirty Sally'. Her driving prtner was Miss Angel aka 'Ridge Route Robbie' while I was to be the 'grunt' trainee and my name was 'Bike Rider Paula'. I never learned whom any of the others were posing as but we all got new vid IDs which Miss O dipped in grease and oil until they looked old and dog-eared. I did learn from Rio who would NOT tell me the name she'd been saddled with that there were five teams of three each and that if we screwed up it might be curtains for us all!

Oro we hated worst of all was getting our long hair cut off! It seems that truckers prefer shorter hair! Only Mr Mumira the owner of the company and his assistant Ms Von Zell knew whom we really were and we were ordered not to use titles, real names or to salute any 3WA officer ever! Mr M was a guy we were told to call Larry and Ms VZ was Arlene.

Our weapons were small Mark III ion cannons, 'bloody' cards, tiny tante and kanai (daggers) and mini laser sword hilts all of whih had to be carried on our persons and be completely concealed and undetectable. The 'trucks' were small star cruisers wih 'trailers' attached like a freight train does with boxcars. In each shipment of stuff we had a tiny 'tracker' hidden. The plan was to allow ourselves to be hijacked and hope we were taken hostage! Mr Garner said he felt sorry for whoever grabbed Katie's truck!

Hey! Look at that! In today's holo vidpape or oro you guys call a newspaper there's an article about that idiot who tried to blow up the big ball on New Year's Eve! Relax. I mean the one on 'Kassandra Minor' not the one on Terra that they have been dropping since ancient times well the 20th Century is ancient times for us. To commemorate the opening of the New York Times newspaper building in 1904 they created a huge sphere and lowered it during the final minutes before New Year's Day at midnight. The custom caught on and soon became a tradition until around AD 2197 when Terra became worthless and uninhabitable.

Mr Black and Uncle Spike made a trip down there a few times in the AD 2140s. They picked up an old antique Beta video player VCR then tried to play a VHS video on the darn thing. Oh and Terra's where they found darling tomboy Edward and 'Tomato' that ugly computer thingy she is never without. Her best pal Ein the data doggie is home grown- on Mars which is where Uncle Spike was born. Mr Black hails from Calixto or Ganymede I think but Commander John wasn't too clear on that subject. Auntie Faye or Faye Faye like Ed calls her is oro you'd call an enigma. She's from Terra but a long ago Terra.

You see she was in a suspended anime er animation I mean state for close on to seventy years like those four crooks we saw last night on an old Twilight Zone rerun. The Brigadier (Marlene Angel) repped up a bunch of that old junk on vid disks for Mr Mikey (Michaelangelo of the TMNT. The four main shuttlecrafts are named after them- Raphael, Leonardo and Donnatella) last weekend.

Oh yeah the story about the big ball, right? Well it says here that the perp was a guy named MacConnell who used to be one of the pirates that tagged along with Johnny Berringer during the 'Gysymeo' incident way back in AD 2249. He'll be convicted and get a few stanzas at 'Seto Kaiba' is oro Auntie Keisie would tell us!

OK I guess it's high time I started the tale in earnest or Gina won't stop kicking me in the ribs. Ladies & Gents, I give you Chapter the First of 'Trucks In Space' and we sure hope ya all like it. This is Edna Jordan oops I mean 'Bike Rider Paula' signing off.

CHAPTER 1 'Angels & Ships & Trouble' or 'Redheads & Rocket Boosters Don't Mix'

"Kei! Take it easy on those darn thrusters! You just blew past 'Io' doing 40 Warp easy!" crackled the voice of an upset 'Snow White Chaser' aka Yuri Donovan.

"It's 'Dirty Sally' you damned airhead! And I was only doin' 36 Warp, 'Snow White' so shut the Hell up! Seen any 'possibles' yet?" barked an angry 'Dirty Sally' into 'Snow White's shell-like ear. Yuri yanked off the vid receivers and threw them on the dash of the 'Crow's Nest' which was without a doubt the smelliest and dirtiest transport she had ever been aboard!

"Yo! 'Snow White'! Which way now? Around that cloud bank or through it, yer royalness?" demanded a gruff guy who was in the operator's seat. 'Big Bad Hughie' was the leader of the Ice Road Brigade and along with Alex, Bear, Eric, Drew and Rick had been shanghaied and then press ganged back into the 3WA whether he liked it or not!

The reflected vid cam lights reflected off the new silver railroad tracks on his epaulets because with the exceptions of Drew and Rick, the Ice Roaders had all been promoted to Captain. Sure this was a covert ops mission but as Alex correctly pointed out to Mr Galadriel, they could all pretend to be 3WA deserters to explain why they were willing to run the 'Corellian' space routes. Garner, Gooley, Gustav and Poporo had all agreed and Mr Galadriel, the 'God of the 3WA' had made it unanimous.

"Becky Sue? Honey, onegai (please) tell 'Big and Bad' why we would never ever fly into a 'nebulae' will ya?" yawned a bored 'Snow White Chaser' reaching for the java urn.

"Cloud bank indeed! Mr 'Big and Bad' a 'nebulae' might look like a harmless cloud bank but it is in fact well sort of like a portable 'wormhole' meaning that if you went into it here Kami knows where or even if you'd com out of it, my dear sir. I will recoordinate your course to NNE by SWS which should bring us to Jupiter 2 by the morning." said Becky Sue who was yet another emulation of 'CC'. Each vessel had one and they were fully capable of steering their assigned crafts to their proper destinations.

"I'm hungry!" moaned Rick and Drew's tummy growled its agreement.

"Madam 'Dirty Sally' the natives are restless. Since it seems that we will encounter no 'nasties' tonight (It was close to 2100 hours or 9 PM UT- Universal Time) might I suggest we put in at the 'Rest Your Engines' space truck stop? You could all do with some refreshment, rest and er shower facilities, Milady." tactfully advised Sir Cedric while Kei barreled along at a sedate 45 Warp! She grabbed and keyed the vidphone.

"Listen up ya mangy inu (dogs)! 'Dirty Sally' thinks we should call it a day so we'll put in at 'Rest Your Engines' and start up again tomorrow. Hey there Mr Moriarty, Mr Skywalker, Miss Olson and Mr Bluesummers. Do you copy that?" she said and when everyone had 'rogered' in the redhead quickly decelerated to SubWarp 6 just in time to avoid missing the turnoff around 'Aurora Major' which would lead them all to nice warm bunks.

The three guys and Neko Olson had been provided with X-Wing fighters and were riding 'shotgun' on the strangest convoy ever to hit the heavens! Moriarty had volunteered when Lance Edwards and the Outlaw Star had been called away unexpectedly. He had been Lance's fellow 'KASP' officer and a damned good tomodachi to boot. Luke Skywalker had a thing for Neko the shape shifting human/nekomata/neko/trill/cat demon and she'd been ordered to fly cover by her uncle Jonathan Harlock. Blue of course had raised his hand to volunteer even before the 'G Force' had explained oro the mission was!

"What a bitch that slave drivin' hussie is! Right Eric?" grumbled Hugh and Eric nodded. He had just caught a glimpse of the silver-green-haired Andvarian female who was tending bar and wasted no time in trying out Miroku's pick up line. Alas for him, Andvarians would sleep with Ein if no other male was available and with Per-Al hot on his heels, Eric beat a hasty retreat to the turbolifts!

The rest sat down to a hearty meal but before they could dig in- TING! Alex had tapped his water glass with a spoon.

"The Good Lord hath provided for us-" began the 'Minister of the Ice Roads' before Hugh and Rick kicked him in the shins.

"God's a great guy! Now let's eat!" said a very ravenous Bear and so they fell to and ate with great gusto. After dinner Drew insisted on singing much to the chagrin of the other patrons some of whom might possibly be their prey. At 2230 hours (10:30 PM UT) 'Dirty Sally' pried 'Snow White' loose from a poor space trucker covered with tattoos who silently toasted his rescuer and downed a flagon of 'Noraka' which is a cross betwixt 'Schnapps' and 'Jack Daniels'.

And so the weary travelers all retired to their bunks for some well earned trips to DreamLand. But while they slumbered, another space trucker named 'Destiny' was burning the midnight hyperdrives to reach his 'Bluetooth' destination when suddenly he felt the entire ship shake violently. Then he felt himself and the ship and cargo tenders all being inexorably pulled back towards a monstrous thing like a planet eater! He was helpless in its grasp he soon learned when his controls took on minds of their own! Suddenly a voice boomed forth.

"You have been captured, Monsieur (Mee-Sure) by the 'Nautilus 2'! You will be tried for the crime of polluting the Universes with foul and odious dilythium emissions! I am Captain Nobody!" cried out the mad despot thoroughly scaring the jigoku out of 'Destiny' who now feared for his own destiny!

END of Chapter 1. Chapter 2 'Captured By Nobody' or 'Pirate Or Patriot?' coming soon. R/R/S my friends.


	2. Chapter 2'Captured By Nobody'Pirate Or

'TRUCKS IN SPACE'

Chapter 2 'Captured By Nobody?' or 'Pirate Or Patriot?'

DISCLAIMER: We wanna thank Mr Takachiho for the use of his Angelic creations and all the other folks who are kind enough to allow us to use their creations. Any of our own stuff well anyone is welcome to use them so long as we get credit for them. OK Edna honey suppose you set the stage for everyone since you, Rio, Angie, Mar and Kome are the major characters after myself and the redheaded nightmare. (See Chapter 1 for details).

Morning at the 'Rest Your Engines' space truck stop came too damned early for Milady Donovan aka 'Snow White Chaser' especially when 'Dirty Sally' O'Halloran unceremoniously tossed the violet-maned minx vixen into a super frigid shower at 0400 hours- 4 o'clock in the morning!

"Shit! Oro the Hell am I doing in the shower at this hour of the darn morning? Kei! You could have at least waited until I woke up! And I would have taken off this expensive negligee and nightgown before I showered, dipstick! Ow! That water's cold as ice! OK I'll meet ya downstairs in a few minutes!" howled Yuri Donovan.

"Ya got five, Snowie and don't forget our aliases, dumbass! That big mouth o' yers could very easily get us all killed, airhead! And we're supposed to be tough so curse a little dammit! Kome's got a hangover so you'll have to play pilot today! Now move it!" growled 'Dirty Sally' and she was not a happy camper today.

"Darn you, Sally! You know perfectly well that I don't understand those multiple gear shifts! Why can't Eric drive?" sulked Yuri.

"All our icemen have a rig o' their own. Even Mar's drivin' a semi train so you should be able to run one too. Use the onboard computer 'CC' program for Kami's sake dammit! Stop arguin' with me and get your shit together, Snowie and I mean it!" yelled the Boss Lady angrily.

As early as it was Kei was astounded to find all the icer truckers finished breakfasting and rarin' to go! Mar and Rio were poring over a star vidmap at one table while Kome and Edna were at another table. Kome was drinking gallons of blazing java and trying her damnedest to sober up! John Raven and Eric were discussing Terran football with Bear while Rick and Drew were arguing with 'Big & Bad' Hughie Rowland about possible 'shortcuts' to wherever they were supposed to be going. The 'Minister' aka Alex Debogorsky was leading an impromptu prayer session for the real space truckers in the rest stop and amazingly these guys were enraptured by the big guy's spiel!

The place was so noisy that Sally wished that Mr Popo (Don Poporo chief of 237 unit) was there to yell for quiet. Since he wasn't she fired a cannon at the ceiling which shattered the chandelier! Everyone dove under the tables for cover while the barkeep grabbed a vidphone and called the 'ISSP' (Inter Solar Systems Police) for help! John Raven took the Mark III away from the redhead and slammed her into a chair rather roughly.

"Show's over guys! (He flashed his shield) Commander John Raven, 'ISSP', Ganymede branch. 'Dirty Sally' accidentally fired her cannon and hit the lights. The 4W Trucking Company will pay for any damages I can assure you. Onegai call the local 'ISSP' back and tell them not to come over. Tell them I have things well in hand, sir. (He dropped his voice to a whisper) I want to talk to you privately, my dear Marshall O'Halloran! (He raised his voice again) OK you guys and ladies can go back to your breakfasts. Darren (This to the barkeep) drinks are on me. (He swiped his credit wallet across the 'pay bar' beside the barkeep's elbow and the amount was 10K credits- around a grand Universal currency) Come with me, Sally." said Raven expertly and adroitly avoiding a br room brawl.

"Kei! This is not one of your usual run o' the mill 'destroy everything in sight' missions! Keep a low profile and stay the Hell outta trouble dammit!" seethed John after quickly hustling the redhead into the cloak room. Kei sulked a bit but finally nodded. Apparently satisfied, Raven handed her Mark III miniblaster back to the tro-con beauty. Then he headed for his own ship and soon got himself airborne.

Kei stuck a cheroot between her teeth, ignited it and leaped atop the bar counter effectively scaring the bejesus outta Darren!

"Onegai may I have yer attention! Brief- er I mean will the rest o' my drivers onegai meet me in the back room for a final er safety check. Sorry about the er accident with the light thing. Darren, will this cover the damages? (She tapped a figure into her own credit wallet PDO and turned it so that the barkeep could see it) Not a triple centime less either. We at 4W pay our bills no matter oro else we might do, sir. Back room guys and ladies." she said and headed for the portals. Darren had fainted after reading 40K or $5K Universal! Nevertheless, the Brigadier (Marlene aka 'Ridge Runner Robbie') calmly swiped Kei's PDO wallet across the 'pay bar' and then gathered up the cadets and followed in Kei's wake.

"Here's your PDO cred wallet, Sally. Now let's get this over with and quick. The 'ISSP' won't just ignore us like John thinks they will and we'd better be long gone by that time, kiddies! Spill it, Sal!" rasped the blonde matter of factly. Mar rarely lost her temper making her quite different from any of the other Angels. Then she hooked a chair with her foot and sat down in one smooth unwasted motion.

"According to 'CC', another hijacking was effected last night about half a lightyear from here. Guy's name was 'Destiny' and he just vanished into the aether. One minute he was there and then he wasn't! Only thing I can think of is either a cloaked ship or-" began the Boss Lady before Mar finished her thought.

"A 'planet swallower' like the 'Cosmic Beast'. Right, Sally? (Kei nodded) OK you cadets and the ice roaders don't know this but some years ago the 3WA had a similar problem. The idiot we caught was named 'Nobody', Captain Nobody he called himself and his thing which was the size of a small moon he called the 'Nautilus 2'. The nutcase was a Jules Verne fanatic and Nemo's sub in 20K Leagues Under the Sea and Mysterious Island was the 'Nautilus'. (She turned to face Annie Hathaway and Keitarou Riff the 'Avenging Angels' who had inexorably shown up on Kei's doorstep some months ago. Sound normal? Not when one considers that the 'Avenging Angels' were from about AD 2270 or 2280!) Isn't Mr Nobody locked up in 'Seto Kaiba' (a penal colony), Annie?" asked a perplexed Marlene.

"Nope. Not any more he ain't, Robbie. He broke out with Johnny Berringer's assistance a week ago." replied the svelte Angel.

"Not only that, Contessa but the two of 'em er 'liberated' the 'Nautilus 2' from the impound yards on 'Kagura' too." supplied Keitarou who was Kei & Yuri's godson. Mar slapped a gloved hand across Kei's mouth just in time! 'Dirty Sally' was livid! She had personally delivered that idiot and Johnny B to 'SK' herself!

"Should we er call Mr Garner and tell him about this?" I suggested. (Remember that Edna Jordan is telling this tale the same way Watson told Holmes's stories to the reader).

"No way! We're sorta like that old Terran TV show 'Mission: Impossible'. If anything happens, Mr Garner will toss us to the wolves!" muttered Kome Sawaguchi aka 'Killer Kristine' who was still nursing her hangover.

"Not quite, Kris. 'If any of us are caught or killed, the 3WA chiefs will disavow any knowledge of our actions.' is the way I was told." corrected the exasperated blonde.

"I guess we have our 'hijacking gang' now, don't we, mums?" reasoned Rio DelCroix and Sally, Robbie and Snowie nodded ruefully.

"In lieu of these developments, there is no longer any reason to pussyfoot around. As of now this sector is under martial law and I'm deputizin' whoever the Hell I want to help us track down these morons and now!" shouted 'She Who Will Be Obeyed' with defiance in her voice and fire in her blazing emerald green orbs. Mar slowly nodded her agreement while Yuri yawned and held out her mug for a refill of java- her 15th.

"Ahem er ladies? We need to burn the hyperdrives, right? Well, we can make a lot better time if we jettison these 'box cars' we're totin' behind us. With your kind permission, I'll take care of that if one of you will onegai arrange for our cargoes and freight to be picked up and delivered. We mustn't let the 4W's clients down or the poor guy will lose his business. And Alex? If Kami is mentioned once more in my presence, I will personally move ya closer to Him! Just a suggestion, Sally." stated 'Big & Bad' Hughie.

Mar hauled out her pocket vidphone and called their 'boss' at the 4W yards. After a hurried conversation, she hung up and nodded to Hugh who disappeared out the portals followed by everyone else except Kome, Drew and Rick. Kome was sick while the other two decided to go out the bathroom window.

"Freeze! You two get outside and help 'Big & Bad' with those 'runners'." growled the Boss Lady.

"And what if we don't, Reds?" sassed Rick. Instead of answering, Kei opened her jacket to let them see her 'iron'.

"This may look small but it still packs a wallop, gentlemen. You saw what a single blast did to the chandelier, didn't ya? Want another demonstration only closer?" she said very quietly. Hoist the storm flags when Kei gets quiet folks!

Rick and Drew were convinced and bolted out of the room. Sally carefully supported Kome out to Snowie's rig and laid her down in the small 'bedroom' above and behind the pilot. Yuri was carefully checking the bills of lading before handing them over to their 'truck push' Gaara North who was riding shotgun with Jett Black. The new plan was for Gaara to wait here at the 'Rest Your Engines' and hand over the freight and cargoes to the pick-up guys from the 4W and then to hitch a ride back to HQ. Snowie finished her checks and handed the paperwork to Gaara before climbing up into her own rig and firing up the thrusters.

"Charlie's sending Units 341 and 688 out to oversee this sector. They'll shut down the spaceways around here for a 13 lightyear radius. He wished us Kami-speed and good luck, Boss." whispered the Brig to Kei who nodded and sprang aboard her rig and was soon airborne followed by the rest which were now 'trailerless' and one Helluva lot faster!

"Where we goin' to Robbie? Paula, wake the Hell up, will ya?" demanded 'Big & Bad' and he sounded really pissed! I sat up, rubbed my eyes and consulted the vidmaps. Miss O had told us we might as well start at the last coordinates that Mr 'Destiny' had been broadcasting from before he vanished.

I pointed and said"Go towards 'Ox and Tiger' er that's NorthEast, sir." B&B nodded and began a long slow about face turn designed to take us past the '7 Sisters' ('Pleiades' constellation which was once the logo of a very famous ancient Terran Japanese automobile company owned by the ancestours of our old 'truck push' on 'Gysymeo'- Mr Subaru) and just beyond them at the 'Adonis Arch' wormhole's terminus was the last place our quarry had been seen.

Miss O had opted to 'take the rear' in order to be sure there were no stragglers meaning of course Rick and Drew who used every opportunity it seemed to 'play hooky' as Miss D said. Her 'rig', Miss O's I mean, was the 'Darkest Angel' and well named according to Miss D!

"Snow White to Dirty Sally. Big & Bad wants to know if we're going through the Arch. Over." shouted Yuri into her rig's (Innocent Virgin) vidphone completely deafening anyone using their comm relays at the time! As you might expect, this really pissed off our fearless leader redhead.

"For Christ's sake, airhead! Ya tryin' to deafen us? Nai, do not enter the Arch yet. Big & Bad? Launch a probe into the Arch OK? Over." said a gravelly-voiced redhead into her own vidphone.

"Roger that, ma'am. Probe away. Over." said a much humbled Hugh Rowland. Why much humbled? I suggest you re-read 'Angel Wings' for that answer folks. I was assigned the boring task of tracking the probe which was akin to watching paint dry!

SCREE! SPLAT! came into my headphones after an hour or two had crawled past and I tapped Robbie's shoulder.

"Miss Robbie? I believe the probe's found something, mum. Rather I'd say it crashed into it. Listen." I said to the Brig and tendered my phones to the blonde. Taking them from me, Miss A listened for a bit and then nodded. Next she keyed the vidphone and called Fearless Leader.

"Robbie to Sally. Come in onegai. Sally? Probe has definitely hit something solid in there but the vid cams aren't working on the dmned thing. I suggest someone take a skycycle in there and check it out. Do you agree? Fine. OK I'll do it. Out." said a weary Marlene and she nudged me towards the back 'room' of the rig where we both donned 'cold suits' and leaped astride a skycycle. Well she drove, I got crammed into the side car along with a big vidcam which would send back video to the rigs. 'Mommy' made sure I was buckled into my seat and then snapped down her blast shield and rocketed off into the unknown depths of the 'Adonis Arch' while I tried to put on a brave face and not let on that I'd just soiled my new 'cold suit'! My heart was in my mouth and it felt like I'd upchuck it any minute!

"Slow down, Miss Robbie!" I shouted but Blondie merely poured on more speed and opened the after thrusters to their fullest. She wanted to spend as little time inside this space coffin as possible too!

"You'd prefer the 'Demon o' Dublin' as yer driver, Paula? Sit back and relax. Phew! I didn't mean to relax that damned much, girl! See anything ahead? Use your laser sword dammit! I can't believe you forgot the torch! Anything?" I shook my head then realizing that the Brig couldn't see me without taking her eyes off the tunnel, I spoke into my vidlink.

"Nothing, mum. How far in are we?" I asked hesitantly.

"Five K kilos I'd say. This damned wormhole comes out a few thousand lightyears from where we went in ya know. Keep a weather eye peeled for the probe." shouted Mar so I could hear her over the roar of the twin engines. Then I saw it!

"Mother of Kami in Heaven! Stop Blondie! Stop dammit! You'll roll past it!" I shouted, pounding my gloved fist into her back until Mar's right shoulder connected hard with my left jaw! The bike slowed to a standstill and I pointed the vidcam at oro I had seen in the gloomy tunnel. Mar raised her blast shield and whistled.

"Oro the jigoku is that? Kei! Yuri! You guys seein' this too? Over." shouted Blondie into her vidlink, deafening me.

"Yeah, kid. We see it. Oro the Hell is it? Any idea, Brainiac? Over." growled the Boss Lady, clearly stumped.

"It looks like the platform for a trans mat beam, Reds. That's where we'll find our missing rig, I'd say. I'd launch the probe but there's no way to track it in a time beam like that, Boss. Only way to tell oro's on the opposite end o' this thing is to follow it but with a cycle or a sled we'd be torn apart in that anomaly. I recommend a space rig. You concur, kids? Over." asked Robbie.

"Let's just go back home guys." suggested Drew.

"I second that motion." agreed Rick.

"I don't remember askin' fer a damned vote! Robbie's right. A cycle or a sled woudn't stand a chance in that thing. Big & Bad, you're elected. Pick up Robbie and Crybaby (Me) at the beam entryway and just drive into it. The rest of ya follow 'em in and I'll bring up the rear. Rick! Drew! Get back in the convoy! Guys, this is just like drivin' into one o' yer ancient antique 21st Century car washes. Once ya enter, the trans mat beam will take over so just leave the rigs in gear. Then sit back and enjoy the ride. Better get into 'cold suits' all of ya. No tellin' if that beam's got a breatheable atmosphere or not. Off we go, kids. First star on the left then straight on 'til mornin'- ain't that the way it goes, Robbie?" chuckled Sally.

"Right as rain, girl. Big & Bad? Just watch for our laser sword light and don't roll past us. Out." said Blondie before hanging up and relaxing into her saddle. I could tell she wanted a smoke and badly. Maybe later, Robbie. I unbuckled myself from the seat and stowed away the vidcam in my backpack. Ten minutes later B&B pulled up and helped us to load the skycycle aboard. Then we climbed into the rig once again. Mar hardly got the portal sealed before Hugh hit the speedbar and away we went the final 100 metres into the unknown passageway! This time I pissed my pants!

Suddenly Mr R was no longer driving us! He lifted his hands from the steering throttle just an instant before it would have been whipped from his grip! We accelerated rapidly. Blondie opined that we must be doing a few hundred Warp if not a full K! At the same time we became aware of strange lights around us that B&B said reminded him of the 'Northern Lights' which Robbie explained were a glacier phenomena indigenous to the ancient Terran American Northwest state of Alaska and which she pointed out on the star vidchart as the 'Aurora Borealis' thoroughly mystifying Hugh who had always thought of them as just being 'queer lights'!

Soon we could just discern the 'Innocent Virgin' rig far behind us. The entire trip could not have lasted more than ten minutes but to me it seemed an eternity! Then mercifully we stopped and I tried to climb over Robbie in my haste to get out and relieve myself! Then Hugh's meat hooks grabbed my shoulder and forced me back into my seat.

Mar flashed the sodium torch out the windows and then used her tricorder to ascertain that though heavier than our atmosphere, it was still safe to breathe outside without our heavy air cylinders thank Kami! A single cylinder weighed close to 16 kilos and we each had to carry three! Do the math for yourselves. My head aches. We seemed to be in a Sargasso Sea of lost space trucks! There in front of us was the one we were after though- the 'Destiny'!

"Fahncy meetin' you folks here eh mates?" said a loud heavily accented Terran Aussie voice close beside my ear as soon as I'd stepped out of the rig.

"Nime's Destiny, Tom Destiny. You're shore a sight fer sore eyes and then some, lovey! Yer the rescue party?" chortled the big Aussie with the traditional Australian bonnet which resembles an old Terran Western cowboy hat with the left side turned up and a crown band trimmed with old fashioned bullets!

"Where are we, partner? Name's er 'Big & Bad' son. This some kinda yard or truck stop?" asked Hugh and Tom grinned like a huge Cheshire cat. Then he laughed aloud.

"Hardly that, mate! I was brought here in a gigantic planet swallower like the Beast World (Shadow Raiders) and me kidnapper dumped me and 'Destiny' in this Gawd-forsaken Hellhole! You musta come through the Arch? (Mar nodded grimly) Well we ain't goin' back that way so I hope yer other would be rescue party goers ain't- Shit!" explained Tom just as Yuri's pure white 'Innocent Virgin' rig popped through the beam's force field barrier. Snowie wasted no time in hopping out and running for the closest rig which happened to be Hugh's 'Crow's Nest'!

BLAP! "Oh Kami! I shouldn't have eaten twelve pieces of pizza and washed it down with a whole bottle of White Zinfandel! Excuse me, sir. I'm Snow White Chaser and if you'll follow us we'll take you back to civilization. We truckers got to stick together, what, old bean?" giggled Yuri who had mistaken Tom's Aussie accent for a London cockney one.

"Might as well wait for the rest now. Too late to have 'em turn back. Damned comm relays won't penetrate that barrier. Snow, we're stuck here. That barrier is a one way only route. This is Tom Destiny and he and his rig's safe and sound at least for now. By the way, Tom, did this kidnapper have a name?" asked Blondie. Tom had graciously allowed me to use his bathroom john and shower facilities aboard his 'Destiny' heavy hauler so I could get cleaned up. I no longer needed the 'cold suit' so I buried the smelly thing under the pile of junk in Hugh's back 'room' and grabbed a fresh change of fuku.

Although I was hors de combat for a little while, I could still hear Big & Bad's big mouth and Tom's thunderclap of a voice perfectly well especially when Miss O finally followed Drew and Rick through the barrier and got the bad news! Then she too asked Mr Destiny if he knew the guy who'd kidnapped him and hijacked his rig.

"Nobody kidnnapped me, ma'am and nobody hijacked my 'Destiny' as well." Tom explained in a matter-of-fact voice.

END of Chapter 2. Chapter 3 'Seeing Is Believing' or 'One Way In, No Way Out?' coming soon.


	3. Ch 3 'Seeing Is Believing' or 'One Way I

TRUCKS IN SPACE

Chapter 3 'Seeing Is Believing' or 'One Way In, No Way Out?'

DISCLAIMER: We wanna thank Mr Takachiho for the use of his Angelic creations and all the other nice folks who are kind enough to allow us to use their creations. Any of our own stuff well anyone is welcome to use them so long as we get credit for them. OK Rio honey suppose you set the stage for everyone since you, Rio, Angie, Mar and Kome are the major characters after myself and the redheaded nightmare. (See Chapter 1 for details).

Well we followed Big & Bad's lead on Milady's orders and as might have been expected, we ended up trapped! You see we went through the 'Adonis Arch' which is a great big hole in space called a 'wormhole' and a quarter of the way through it the Brig and that dodo-brained dipstick (Nai not Miss D, this is another dipstick! Oops! Sorry, Grand Admiral!) found a 'trans mat beam' platform like a launching pad along a 'time corridor' to some other place that could have been a few kilometres away or a few hundred thousand lightyears off!

The Boss Lady gave the orders and we all followed Big & Bad's rig into it and out the other end but ya won't never believe where that other end was! And of course it was a one way street meaning we couldn't just turn around and come back out! Aw well ours is not to reason why, ours is but to do or- Hey! Nobody said this mission was gonna be dangerous! Hey Brig! I want out! Jut a thought guys. According to Mr Destiny or Tom the Aussie as we dubbed him we were inside a gigantic 'planet swallower' like the one Miss O and Miss D tangled with during the elemental planets incident back in '53 (AD 2253 or two years before this narrative) and how or even if we were ever gonna get out was anybody's guess! Read on if ya dare!

"Nobody kidnapped ya and nobody hijacked yer rig, Tom? Then how'd ya get inside this monstrosity?" demanded 'Dirty Sally' who had just lit a cheroot and offered one to Tom who gratefully accepted it. Miss D told me that I was too young to either smoke or drink or t'other! I'm almost 15 darn it all! Rio smokes and drinks and she's only a few months older than I am for neko's sake! T'other? Ah, that would be telling and I promised Rio I wouldn't.

"The bloke who grabbed my 'Destiny' told me he was a Captain Nobody, Miss Smarty Britches! He acted like by grabbing my 'Destiny' he was doing the Universes a big favour! If that don't beat all. How keeping me from delivering my freight to 'Della Porta VI' does any good to the old Universes is beyond me own ken. Say wasn't there an old book about a guy named Nobody? On ancient Terra maybe?" asked a curious Tom Destiny. He offered Miss D a 'snort' from a pocket flask but being a lady she declined his offer. Miss O, however, well the Boss ain't no lady ya know!

"When Mr Ulysses (Odysseus) was captured by that big Cyclops guy during his Odyssey (Journey or Voyage) back home to Greece on ancient Terra, he told the big lunkhead his name was 'Nobody'. That way when he and his men stuck a long pole sharpened to a point and cooked in the fire into his eye and his brother dumbheads heard him screaming and asked him why he said 'Nobody is hurting me!' they thought he was nuts or drunk or both and went back to bed. Then-" I was proud of my knowledge of the classics and so it upset me when I was interrupted by the Brig er I mean Robbie.

"Nice try, Paula but I believe Tom was referring to Mr Verne's Captain Nemo which means 'nobody' or 'no name' in Terran French. He captained a super submarine called the 'Nautilus' in two novels- 20,000 Leagues-" and Miss Angel was interrupted by Tom Destiny.

"The 'Nautilus'? Strange because Captain N called this thing we're inside of the 'Nautilus 2'! Robbie, why did Nemo become a pirate or villain or plain old scalawag anyway?" asked a very curious Australian trucker.

"Pirate or patriot, Tom? Nemo thought of himself as doing his bit to prevent men from killing each other in wars. He fired on and destroyed only warships you will recall. Mr Verne used this premise in two other novels as well. Master of the World and-" explained the tall svelte blonde.

"I hate to break up the literature class, Tom and Robbie but how does any of this crapola get us outta this tin can we're stuck in?" asked Big & Bad Hugh Rowland. Apparently Miss DelCroix finally realized our desperate situation and started bawling. Eric tried to comfort the distraught girl and gave her his hanky. And she's the older one too! Miss O dealt with Rio using her usual diplomacy.

"Shut the Hell up, ya big crybaby! Knock it off or I'll belt ya one!" growled the redheaded Amazon firebrand Hellcat. She leveled a gloved forefinger at Tom Destiny.

"How big is this 'Nautilus 2' thing? Any idea?" she demanded. Tom shook his head and indicated the vastness of the 'room' around the convoy party.

"Spread out and try and find the walls dammit! Snowie, toss up some 'illuminators' for us. Get moving!" roared Sally and we scattered but after an hour of wandering about even 'She Who WILL Be Obeyed' had to admit defeat- of the battle not the war!

"We're all going to die!" whined Drew and Rick started kicking the side of the 'Crow's Nest' until Big & Bad bopped him on the jaw. Alex decided it was time for divine intervention and started an impromptu prayer session much to B&B's chagrin. Miss O frowned then shrugged her shoulders and told us it couldn't hurt nothing.

Those 'illuminators' which were tiny but powerful incendiary bombs made the inside as bright as a sunny Shimougan day under the big triple suns! We could see no walls in sight nor where the floor ended nor where the oni the ceiling was! All of this upset the blonde kid whose brother was a big knight in shining armour. Ed and Al Elric were alchemists which meant they could manipulate matter although the Boss said she thought alchemy was turning stuff into gold like Midas did! Between you and me though I dunno how Miss O ever got through kindergarten let alone graduating from the Academy!

"We can't find the walls or the ceiling, right? OK then brother mine how's about we blow a hole in the floor?" suggested Ed to which Alphonse strenuously objected!

"No brother! We don't know oro's beneath us! It could be deep space and we can't breathe er the rest of you can't breathe without oxygenated air! Teacher!" howled Ed's armoured younger brother. Uh oh! That brought Miss Izumi running at full tilt!

"Oro's the matter Alphonse?" demanded the petite alchemy teacher who could have flipped Mugghi without raising a sweat. She looked right at Edward.

"Edward Elric! Oro do you think you are going to do? Did I hear 'blow a hole in the floor'? come out of your mouth, young man?" she demanded, hands on hips. Behind her was barrel-chested 'Strong Arm Alchemist' Brigadier Alex Louis Armstrong who was just as upset because Granny Rockabelle had just nixed his bright idea of punching a hole in the floor! Wowie! I guess if Chief (KP Police Force) Mustang had been along he'd have tried to fry the floor unless the Commish (former SAA 1st Lt Riza Hawkeye was now the Furool (Foo-Lon) City police commissioner) had been there to stop the 'Flame Alchemist'. Nobody would have stopped Mr Kimblee the 'Crimson Alchemist' from bombing the place I knew!

Suddenly Robbie hopped down from the 'Crow's Nest' fender where she'd been sitting and snapped her fingers at Miss Izumi.

"Izumi, could you and the boys create a 'sensing circle' like you did on the 'Angel 2' a few years ago? See if you can divine the size and shape of this thing we're in? At least we'd have some idea how far we had to travel to find its limits. Rio! Don't touch that barrier!" yelled Robbie but she was only in time to catch the girl before she hit the hard floor! Rio had launched a heavy boot at the force beam barrier we had all come through and of course elementary physics- 'force beams repel, they don't attract' so never touch them let alone kick them! was oro Miss Hathaway had told us back at the Academy. Guess Miss DelCroix hookied that class session huh?

Then began a hurried alchemy conference among Miss Izumi, the boys, Mr Armstrong, Denny Block and Maria Ross, Sig who was Izumi's hubby, Miss Zoe and Nr Bluesummers about how to draw a 'sensing circle' without chalk! Sheska (And Kami knows why we brought along a bookworm on a mission!) suggested simply 'repping' some up before she remembered that we had not brought along 'replicators' for a simple mission. Then Miss Donovan reminded all of us that back in '49 they had all begun a very 'simple' mission which ended up taking two years to finish! Finally Eric came to the rescue when he recalled he had bought some pastel chalks for his niece back in Manitoba a day before the Ice Roaders had left ancient Terran Canada.'

For the next six hours there was quiet while the Alchemy Think Tank drew all over the floor. It reminded me of my ancient Terran history studies about the 'Nazca Plains' of South America thought to be ancient starship landing strips. Oro were they? Darned if any of us know and we're from Terra's future! A joke maybe or advertisements for a stone age airline maybe?

The rest of us had some dinner and swapped jokes, told tall tales or listened to them while others (The smart ones) bedded down for some shuteye. I wished that Annie or KT (Annie Hathaway and Keitarou Riff the 3WA's 'Avenging Angels' were still stuck in their own past with malfunctioning timeships. Miss Brief and her Saiyaan lapdog kooks were on assignment somewhere in Jadzeelia a new star cluster near Sagitarrius's bow tip. Bulma had the 'Lady Foucault' which was a functioning timeship) had been there but Hey! where the Hell was our fighter escort wing? I immediately asked Miss O and was immediately sorry I had!

"Did any of our fighters follow us in here dammit?" roared the 'Demon o' Dublin' in a voice loud nough to be heard back at the Academy! Sheska dropped her chalk and why she was drawing too was beyond me! Sheska's a bookworm, a librarian and well she does have perfect recall, a photographic memory of anything she has ever seen or read! Problem is she never recalls it until someone remembers the book's title! Guess she never read the 'Shadow Raiders' manga or she'd have remembered the 'Beast World' planet eater!

"Not that I noticed but they may have been 'cloaked', Reds." said Legato Bluesummers who was leaning across Al to draw his bit.

The Brigadier er Robbie had already grabbed a vidphone mike and keyed it. After a hurried transmission she threw down the mike in disgust. The beam barrier was jamming or blocking any signals out of this tincan prison. Suddenly the walls shook and a voice like a thunderclap was heard reverberating throughout the room. I cheered! Surely Shenron the Eternal Dragon had come to our rescue? It wasn't him though.

"Greeting dear friends! Captain Nobody welcomes you to your new home! You'll be staying here for quite some time I am very much afraid! If you check your carriages you will find several 'replicators' in each machine. Make yourselves comfortable and I will address your leaders on my bridge at 2000 hours (8 PM) this evening. It is not a formal affair so those amongst your brethren that are with the 3WA need not rep up uniforms. Zarak will call for you tonight and escort you here to see me. Onegai leave any weapons behind in your carriages. Nothing mars a good friendship like having to kill someone before you get to know them, don't you agree, Grand Marshall O'Halloran and Grand Admiral Donovan. Do you concur, Brigadier Angel? You three and Mr Thomas Destiny will be my dinner guests this evening. As you have no doubt already found out my Nautilus seems endless. Not too surprising since it exists in more than one dimension. No more hints but do try not to get lost in your futile and useless explorations of my home. Until tonight ladies and gentlemen. Adieu."

The booming voice ended as swiftly as it had begun and the room went as silent as a tomb. Rio started to cry again and I hate to admit it but I joined her this time! We were surely in a right pickle as Mr Doctor 4 was wont to say. How I wished he or #2 or #6 or even #5 or any time lord was here now. I wished they were here with one of those police boxes they flew! Then Rio announced to all of us that she had claustrophobia! After that Drew got sick. Suddenly the alchemy 'sensing circle' began to glow bright green and a shadowy figure emerged from the glowing embers of the huge circle!

END of Chapter 3. Chapter 4 'The Return of Rathelon' or 'Renegades From Gallifrey?' coming soon. Please R/R/S away and have a great weekend too- STG


	4. Ch4'TheReturnofRathelon'RenegadesFromG

TRUCKS IN SPACE

Chapter 4 'The Return of Rathelon' or 'Renegades From Gallifrey?'

DISCLAIMER: We wanna thank Mr Takachiho for the use of his Angelic creations and all the other nice folks who are kind enough to allow us to use their creations. Any of our own stuff well anyone is welcome to use them so long as we get credit for them. OK Rio honey suppose you set the stage for everyone since you, Rio, Angie, Mar and Kome are the major characters after myself and the redheaded nightmare. (See Chapter 1 for details).

Well we followed Big & Bad's lead on Milady's orders and as might have been expected, we ended up trapped! You see we went through the 'Adonis Arch' which is a great big hole in space called a 'wormhole' and a quarter of the way through it the Brig and that dodo-brained dipstick (Nai not Miss D, this is another dipstick! Oops! Sorry, Grand Admiral!) found a 'trans mat beam' platform like a launching pad along a 'time corridor' to some other place that could have been a few kilometres away or a few hundred thousand lightyears off!

The Boss Lady gave the orders and we all followed Big & Bad's rig into it and out the other end but ya won't never believe where that other end was! And of course it was a one way street meaning we couldn't just turn around and come back out! Aw well ours is not to reason why, ours is but to do or- Hey! Nobody said this mission was gonna be dangerous! Hey Brig! I want out! Jut a thought guys. According to Mr Destiny or Tom the Aussie as we dubbed him we were inside a gigantic 'planet swallower' like the one Miss O and Miss D tangled with during the elemental planets incident back in '53 (AD 2253 or two years before this narrative) and how or even if we were ever gonna get out was anybody's guess! Read on if ya dare!

Suddenly the alchemy 'sensing circle' began to glow bright green and a shadowy figure emerged from the glowing embers of the huge circle! Everyone in the room drew cannons, blades, laser weapons or something! Even Alex held up his crucifix and began to intone the 23rd Psalm from the Bible! Drew crawled uner a rig and Rick took off for who knows where! Eric, Bear and Hugh grabbed huge spanner wrenches and swung wildly at the thing in the smoke to no avail. Miss O emptied half a power pack of ion blasts into its face while Miss D plunged her laser sword into the smoke up to the hilt! Rio tried to kick it and was rescued just in time by Zoe Morton and Mr Bluesummers! I grabbed a plasma rifle from Big & Bad's rig when my teeny tiny Mark III miniblaster jammed and I emptied the entire power pack clip into it which caused everyone to dive for cover when the blasts all began ricocheting off the far away but yet unseen chamber walls! The Brig clouted me on the jaw and wrested the rifle from my nerveless fingers. Then 'it' began to speak!

"Such a fuss you are all making. Is this any way to greet an old friend whom hath traveled all these many lightyears just to help you? (The head because that was all there was of it- just a bearded head of a guy as old as Methuselah! Anyway it looked around and frowned) I take it none of those time jockeys are here yet? No matter. Let me explain-" 'it' said in a booming voice not unlike our congenial 'host' with whom our leaders had a dinner date tonight!

I found out later 'it' was the age old father of the time lords of Gallifrey- Lord Rathelon and Rio almost upchucked her dinner all over me when the Brig explained that 'it' had died a few hundred thousand centuries ago! And me? Well, I er, some things a lady just does not talk about is how Miss D would have said it. Miss O, however, would have said exactly oro she did say 'Oro's that damned strange smell in here?' and then shrugged it off. The head of Rathelon spoke to us for close to an hour and as he went on most of us (Me included) went as white as a yuyu (ghost)!

In a nutshell, our Captain Nobody was in reality a rogue time lord formerly called 'The Master'. Imprisoned within his 'TARDIS' on ancient Terra for several centuries he'd grown bored with traveling back and forth to different time eras and place on the planet. When the widowed Mrs Higurashi (Kagome's Mama) had finally and steadfastly refused to wed him the old fool had become incensed and locked her and her young son Sota up aboard his Type 40 time ship which looked like a Roman column from the outside.

With the help of another rogue time lord, this one a female named 'The Ranee' he had managed to fix his 'chameleon circuitry' and transferred his ship's outward appearance to well we were all inside the darn thing now! Ostensibly pretending to be a goody goody guy he began to hijack space rigs carrying arms and ammo in order as he put it to end all warfare once and for all! A noble gesture but a lie! His partner-in-crime 'The Ranee' whose own Type 40 had been confiscated had hitched a ride to Terra with an unsuspecting Bulma Brief aboard her own time ship the 'Lady Foucault'.

Having just lost a damned good space tech when Blackfire of Tamaran had recovered her own 'Black Ember' ship and gone off treasure hunting, Bulma was only too happy to give 'The Ranee' (She told Mrs Brief her name was Rhonda Galaxy- a phony name if ever there was one but Bulma had been hanging around Saiyaans too long I guess) Black's old job especially since all she asked in exchange was a free ride to Terran Japan circa the Sengoku Jidai or Warring States Era- the 16th Century.

When she took her leave of Vegeeta's missus Rhonda also took a few spare parts for 'The Master's 'TARDIS' and as a result she and he managed to override the dampener that kept the guy Terran-bound! That explained how he came to be in deep space anyway. According to Lord R though 'The Master' had no intention of stopping wars. His intentions were much more deadly and explained his 'hijackings' to a T.

He and let's call her Rhonda and him Mike OK? Mike and Rhonda knew that sooner or later the authorities would be asked to investigate these space rig disappearances or hijackings and that meant us- the 3WA! Now it's well known that we possess the most powerful weapon in all the Universes- the dreaded 'God Gun' which on its very lowest setting can vaporize Luna, the Terran Moon! He wanted that weapon and he reasoned we'd be sent in aboard one of the three 'Lovely Angels' starships all of which house a 'God Gun' or rather are one!

He goofed and now Rathie told us he intended to hold us hostage and demand as ransom from Mr Galadriel and the other 'G Team' guys one of the three vessels! Suddenly Robbie snapped her gloved fingers and whistled. She explained that must be why Tro Con Agent Tommy Tanaka (a time lord plant that everyone knew about) had been assigned to Eric's rig with Angie.

Needless to say, Rathhie implored Miss O'Halloran (Why bother with trucker aliases now?) not to give in to his demands even if it meant death for all of us! He quoted part of that darned old 'Galactic Oath' that all full-fledged tro cons must swear to uphold which really pissed off our fearless leader to no end!

"How dare you question our loyalty to the Oath, Rathie? Even those amongst us who have not sworn (She looked at the Ice Road Brigade who looked a sworried as jigoku) or not yet sworn (She looked at Rio and me) the Oath would cheerfully give their lives for the cause of Universal peace and safety without batting an eyelash, sir! Do you think I'm baka enough to hand that megalomaniac despot and his moll the means to eradicate (Miss O must have been doing crossword puzzles again) the entire cosmos of consciousness? By the way, that reminds me. Are Tweedledum and Tweedledummer gonna pay us a visit anytime soon? (The Brig explained to us she meant the 'Guardians of the Universes'- Mr White and Mr Black. Man, did I miss a lot of stuff while I was stuck at 3WA HQ during those big missions!) This looks like another fine mess they've gotten all of us into dammit!" fumed the redhead chomping down on her cheroot so hard she bit right through it!

I suppose you've already guessed why Mike and Rhonda wanted the 'God Gun', huh? To destroy Gallifrey before it was ever even created is the real reason according to His Lordship and Marlene Angel agreed with him. I might as well tell ya that without the Brigadier the 3WA and maybe even the UG (United Galactica Federation of Galaxies its parent organization) would soon come to a screeching halt! As for the immediate chain of command here it was simple- O'Halloran, Donovan, Angel. That's right- all females! We've had Women's Lib for eons up here on Shimougou in case ya were wondering.

"Shit! Ya mean ya can't wave a magic wand or somrthin' and get us outta here, Rathie? How about an 'Open Sesame' for the force beam field barrier over there?" shouted a very unladylike violet-maned minx vixen who immediately apologized for her profanity!

"I regret I cannot, ladies because that is not a barrier nor did you travel here through a trans mat beam. Indeed, you never even entered the 'Adonis Arch' wormhole. (We were shocked to say the least!) Nai, when you entered the 'Arch' you were entering a 'TARDIS' and unless the main portal release switch is thrown up on the bridge you will all remain here as long as 'The Master' wishes to keep you prisoners. Don't bother trying to reason with either of them, Kathleen. Each knows that all that awaits them at the High Council is immediate and complete termination. He hath no more regenerations left while she is down to her final four. However, it's a moot point since complete annihilation means the end of them like they never existed, my dear. I did try and warn you not to take the 'Arch' you'll recall." said a solemn time lord's visage.

"So that was you, sir? (He nodded) I remember hearing the words 'Do not use the Arch' but nobody else seemed to notice so I thought I'd imagined it. (I turned to Marlene) I'm sorry, mum. I should have mentioned it when I heard it I suppose." I said.

"Damned friggin' right you should have, girlie! Then we wouldn't be in this mess we're in dammit!" howled Big & Bad. A glance from Kei silenced him.

"Great! Of all my people on this mission, Rathie, you had to pick one of the cadets who don't know anything about time lords, time travel and the rest of this crap! Edna, it ain't yer fault and as of now we are dropping these ridiculous nicknames! Do you have any suggestions as to how we complete this damned mission, Yer Lordhsip?" growled the Boss, fire in her green orbs.

"I told you I had sent for the time jockeys you'll recall. I sent for the 7 'Doctors' you already know and the newest one that you don't. With all 8 'TARDIS'es sychronized with each other they will easily encompass this 'TARDIS' and transport it to Gallifrey. From there we'll count on your derring do and expertise to subdue the miscreants and turn them over to us. Afterwards, we'll send you back home. How doth that sound to you, Katie?" he said nonchalantly.

"How many other damned rigs are trapped inside with us, Rathie?" asked the Brig quietly.

"At least a hundred my dear. Why?" replied Rathelon curiously.

"Because with that big of an army we should be able to take over this thing and fly it to Gallifrey ourselves, my Lord. I'm sure that Mr Garner and the rest of the 'G Team' would rather not having seven 'TARDIS'es from seven different time eras and places in one place and time at the same pardon the pun time. So may I suggest that you cancel all of those Type 40s except for Doctors 2, 4 and 6. Better keep the new one too." answered Marlene and added the last one when the Boss gave her the high sign.

Kei O'Halloran stood up and faced the floating head.

"Rathie, can everyone on this piece of shit hear me from here? (Rathelon nodded sagely and the redhead leaped atop the cab roof of the 'Crow's Nest' causing Big & Bad to go purple in the face! After all Mr Rowland had just scrubbed and waxed his rig until it shone like a well I'd get in trouble if I repeated his simile! Suffice it to say it shined like our own triple suns. However, he bit his tongue and said nothing. Instead he tapped Alex's elbow.

"Please say a prayer over my baby, Alex. Look what Reds is doing to her!" pleaded Big & Bad and the two riggers knelt and prayed beside the rig. Well why not man? We feel the same way about our speeders, skysleds, skycycles, shuttles and air cars, don't we darn it? Miss O cleared her throat.


	5. Ch5 'Hazzard Was Never Like This'Who'

TRUCKS IN SPACE

Chapter 5 'Hazzard Was Never Like This!' or 'Who's Driving?'

DISCLAIMER: We wanna thank Mr Takachiho for the use of his Angelic creations and all the other nice folks who are kind enough to allow us to use their creations. Any of our own stuff well anyone is welcome to use them so long as we get credit for them.

When I left off the Brigadier had just drawn down on Mr Coltrane and his cute doggie Blue. Although he was holding a firearm on her and us Miss Angel's was a Helluva lot bigger than his so he prudently dropped his, signaled his deputy to do the same and then both men raised their hands skywards.

"OK. Put your arms down guys. (The blonde reholstered her own Mark XII and both guys breathed a sigh of relief. Blue began to whine) This is going to take a bit of explaining. Let's have something to eat first though, I'm starved. Suzy! Angie! Edna! Rio! Rep us up a table and chairs and leave the repper on the table for us please. Gentlemen, if all of you would step back against your carriages, this will only take a moment or two." said the Brigadier. Enos was already smitten as were Bo and Luke Duke!

POOF! Where a second before had been blank space was now a long dining table and several chairs. Atop the table was a small PC printer or so it appeared to the Dukes, Roscoe and Enos! As they all sat down there was a loud commotion behind the rigs and a white ancient Terran 1980 Jeep CJ7 emblazoned with a huge golden eagle on the hood and the name 'Dixie' on either side came screaming around the corner almost running down Kome!

Ms Sawaguchi acted instinctively as did her pal Neko Olson by drawing disruptor pistols and covering the tall frail brunette at the wheel of this newest contraption! Miss Daisy Duke was Bo and Luke's cousin and she stared coolly back at both the pink freak (Kome) and the nekomata shapeshifting neko/human/trill (Neko) showing not a trace of fear. Of course Miss Duke had never seen a disruptor beam weapon in action either!

"If all you menfolks were gonna have dinner why didn't y'all invite me and Uncle Jesse along, boys? Where'd all these rigs come from? Who are all these freaks? Is the carnival back in Hazzard again? They ain't due here for another two months! Y'all best report to Boss Hogg afore he sends Sheriff Roscoe after ya. Say! Where the dickens is the sky fellas? Where's the food?" said the newcomer, leaping from her conveyance lightly and taking a seat beside me without being asked!

"Let's eat first huh? I ain't had nothing since last night and I'm famished." suggested Suzy Quinn our newest squad team member who was on loan from Mr Zero at the Intergalactic Space Command HQ. Without a word the diners began shouting orders at the little box causing Daisy to giggle, deputy and sheriff to laugh and the boys to stare when 'it' began spewing out food and drink orders!

"I thought you guys were hungry? Order up, Mr Coltrane, Mr Strait (Enos). Oro will ya have, Mr Bo, Mr Luke, Miss Daisy?" asked Rio DelCroix who was after all part BetaZoid and as such could easily read minds that were not being actively blocked. Miss Donovan explained how our 'replicators' worked and soon the boys were trying to stump 'Reppie' as Roscoe had dubbed his new 'friend'. He thought there was a tiny guy or gal inside of it doing the cooking!

After awhile most everyone except Miss O'Halloran and Mr Hugh were stuffed to the gills and the Brigadier leaned back and lit a cheroot causing Daisy to blush. In 20th Century Georgia in the U S of A ladies smoked cigarettes not cigars no matter how cool they looked doing it! Miss Angel, however, simply began to explain matters to our guests who apparently did not believe a word of anything she was telling them.

"Another world and time than our own? A 'TARDIS' like on that new TV show? Are we on 'Candid Camera'? Where's Allen Funt? (Daisy looked under the table for concealed cameras and microphones and so did the cops and Bo Duke. Luke Duke simply smiled and pointed upwards) That's right! What have y'all done with the sky, the clouds and the sun? (A shocked look replaced the grin on Daisy's face) Y'all mean that this on the level? We really ain't in Hazzard no more, ma'am? (Marlene nodded and took a pull from her java) How do we get back home then?" asked a suddenly worried Duke cousin who was plenty scared.

"Ya don't. At least not until we figure out where the rift is that ya came through. Was anyone behind ya back home, boys besides your kawaii cousin?" asked the Boss while pouring herself another 'Jameson's. Daisy snapped her fingers.

"That's what I was comin' to tell y'all. Boss Hogg's follerin' me! (She was interrupted by a loud bullhorn and a screech of brakes) Darn it! I thought sure I'd lost him! We better get outta here, folks!" said Daisy, standing up and brushing off her jeans preparatory to jumping back into 'Dixie' until-

"You are surrounded! I place y'all under arrest in the name o' the law! I am Jefferson Davis Hogg and I own this here County o' Hazzard and I command everyone in it too!" said a fat tub of a guy in a pure white Cadillac Coupe de Ville circa mid 20th Century Terra whom the newcomers all addressed as 'Boss' causing the other Boss to sit bolt upright in her chair!

"Correction. I am the only Boss here and I am in command dammit! Grand Marshall Keirran O'Halloran of the 3WA! Oro's your rank, Fatso?" demanded a perturbed firebrand Hellcat redheaded Amazon who was brandishing her Mark XIII ion cannon. Mr Hogg to his chagrin chose to laugh out loud at her!

"And just what do y'all think you are gonna do with that toy, Missy?" he asked while hauling out his own six-shooter. Instead of answering him, Miss O simply fired at the floor directly in front of Tubby. ZAP! POW! The big guy jumped a foot off the ground when a gaping three metre wide trench fully a foot deep appeared in front of his boots! Then he caught sight of the feast.

"Eats! Not the Boar's Nest but I'm hongry so stand aside, chillun!" he shouted and dove into the heaps of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, biscuits, corn and whatever else he could shove down his gullet! This gentleman clearly had no manners but then again neither did our esteemed fearless leader!

Both proved to be evenly matched trencherpersons though and more and more food was repped up and gobbled down until finally even the big galloot announced he was full. By now he and Miss O were fast friends, bosom buddies and lifelong pals! Who knew that being a pig at the table would be grounds for a lasting friendship?

Boss Hogg accepted the large measure of 'poteen' Miss O had repped up for him, Roscoe, Enos, the Dukes and the other three of the Unholy Four (Miss D, Miss Sawaguchi and the Brig). An hour later Miss D, Kome and the Dukes had passed out. The Brig, our fearless leader and Mr Hogg were still tossing down brews but when they began using Kei's boilermakers (Poteens with Romulan Blue Ale dropped into them) both deputy and sheriff had promptly passed out after the first round. Flash, Mr Coltrane's hound doggie as he called him was quietly lapping up porter thoughtfully repped up for him by a mischievous Neko Olson. The poor inu would be in beddie bye before he finished his bowl!

"Well I think we'd all best bed down for the night eh?" said the Boss and finally passed out atop Mr Hogg who was snoring on the table. Since the rest were in similar states, Suzy and I repped up blankets and pillows and distributed them before climbing into the bunks in the Crow's Nest and we all slept the sleep of the just until well I'm too sleepy (Yawn) to finish this now so look for the next part of the saga in Chapter 6 'Storming the Bridge' or 'Dukes To the Rescue' coming real soon ya hear that y'all?

END of Chapter 5.


	6. Ch6'StormingtheBridge'DukesTotheRescue

TRUCKS IN SPACE

Chapter 6 'Storming the Bridge' or 'Dukes To the Rescue'

DISCLAIMER: We wanna thank Mr Takachiho for the use of his Angelic creations and all the other nice folks who are kind enough to allow us to use their creations. Any of our own stuff well anyone is welcome to use them so long as we get credit for them.

OK before I got too sleepy to go on me and Suzy had repped up bedding and stuff for everyone and distributed them before we crawled into the bunks behind the cab of Mr Hugh's big 'Crow's Nest' rig. Although I had been doggie tired before I got into my bunk, the top one because Suzy can't climb, I tossed and turned for hours it seemed before that same loud commanding voice reverberated all across the room causing most of our convoy to wake up, me included!

"It is almost twenty hundred hours (That's 8 O'Clock at night for normal folks) and I am sending my kawaii associate down to bring my guests up here to dinner. Will the Grand Marshall O'Halloran, the Grand Admiral Donovan, the Brigadier Angel, our newest guest Mr Jefferson Davis Hogg, our first guest Mr Destiny and the young Ensign Jordan onegai (please) be ready by the time she arrives. I can be quite cross if dinner guests are not punctual and I have a violent temper. That is all." said the voice which belonged to as we knew now- The Master!

That last dinner guest by the way was me! Why he knew about me or wanted me there was beyond my ken of understanding and how the Hell he even knew about Mr Hogg was a bigger mystery until Suzy mumbled to me that The Master more than likely had the whole TARDIS wired for sound and video. Then the lucky duck turned over and went back to her dreams.

The door was yanked open between the cab and the boudoir we were using and the Brig stuck her head in.

"Edna? You heard? (I nodded) Shower and change back into your cadet uniform as quickly as you can. No sense in keeping up the pretense that we're truckers anymore. He apparently knows all about us by now. I just woke up the Boss and the Duchess (Miss O and Miss D could sleep through WW CVI it seemed) and now I have to get the big galloot (Mr Hogg) and Destiny up. They were both snoring like grampusses when I finished my rounds. I'm leaving Rick, Hugh, Alex and Drew on watch. Not much point really since The Master seems to know all that goes on anyway. Nai Honey, I haven't the foggiest notion as to why two time lords want to see a third year cadet but if you don't come with us, The Ranee will drag you up there by the hair I'm sure. I've tangled with her before and he's no dream boat either, girl. When you're ready come sit at the table and we'll wait for the others. Any questions, Edna?" said the blonde.

"Miss O always wants us armed mum. Should I take my Marks or not?" I asked and Miss Angel smiled.

"Of course. Those bozos both know the Boss's rules about firearms. Take your bloody cards and laser sword hilt too. Now hurry up. I'll meet you at the table in five minutes." said the Brig, pointing to her wristchromo which read 19:50 or ten minutes before dinner hour.

Promptly at 19:57 or three minues before D-Day for us The Ranee jetted through the far wall at the controls of a sky sled and it was towing a second sled. She was a tall ravishing redhead and made no move to rise. Instead she pointed a gloved finger at the three seats in her sled.

"O'Halloran, Donovan, Angel. Get in. Hogg, Destiny, Jordan. Get in the other sled. Now." she commanded, waving a small automatic around with her free hand. The Boss leaped in beside the time lady while the Brig and Miss Donovan climbed into the two rear seats. I stood politely aside and assisted Mr Hogg and Mr Destiny into the two back seats of the second sled. Then I strapped them in and took my own place at the controls. The Ranee craned her head around and spat out an order.

"Good. You are familiar with this conveyance, my dear. Just steer. We won't have a very long jaunt. Try anything funny and I will not heitate to kill any of you no matter oro that idiot Master says. Understood?" she said. It seemed a shetorical question and none of us replied. Mr Hogg, however, was white as a yuyu (ghost). He was looking underneath the skysled.

"Don't worry, Mr Hogg. She doesn't dare harm us." assured Destiny in a whisper but the big guy in white was not reassured.

"Where the Sam Hell are the wheels on this thing, son? This floor's gonna make for a bumpy ass ride and my lumbago has been acting up again of late." he said and Mr D and I chuckled.

"It doesn't need any wheels, sir. It flies." I explained and poor Mr Hogg went even whiter and paler. Apparently he did not like heights or flying. I only hoped he wouldn't get airsick because this model did not come with airsickness bags! Then I thought. How strange that we have been permitted to retain our weapons. Oro was to stop us from taking over these sleds and then a thought entered my mind. It was the Boss's voice!

'Why waste our time huntin' fer the damned control room when this dipstick is gonna take us right to it? Don't get any ideas about playin' hero, Edna. Just relax enjoy the ride.'

So we settled back and tried to relax but with a big cigar chomping galloot sitting right behind me it wasn't easy.

"Oh Lawdie! I know I done some things y'all didn't approve of like running moonshine and operatin' them stills and cheatin' them Dukes and fleecin' them good citizens o' Hazzard and well y'all get my drift, Lawdie. Anyways, please keep me safe and send me outta this here nightmare and back home to my nice safe office at the Boar's Nest and I wear I'll reform and give up cheatin' on Roscoe's fat sister and I'll give Roscoe and Enos raises and I'll build a doggie house fer old Flash and whatever else y'all say, sir. Gawd bless me and Lulu and Cooter and them Dukes and Roscoe and Enos and my new friends here at whatever Gawd forsaken heck hole we be in and I ask this in the Lawdie's name. Amen." said Boss Hogg and then he crossed himself for good measure even though he wasn't a Catholic.

"For Kami's sake, you done now, Mr Hogg? Can we leave now?" demanded a very pissed off time lady and JD nodded without opening his eyes. The Ranee spat out her cheroot and fired up the twin thrusters and neatlt lifted her sled and ours off the ground and upwards at an amazingly fast speed of SubWarp 8 or well about 10K kilometres an hour!

Suddenly the wall of the TARDIS was a foot in front of us and even Mr Destiny blanched a little! The Ranee merely drove straight through it! I found out later it was a simple holographic projection screen meaning it wasn't even there. The Ranee's hands were deft on the controls and before long after speeding through a maze of passageways like Ariadne's Thread we finally arrived at a docking station.

"You may retain your weapons but remember that you are our guests and that this is not one of those foolhardy Doctor's TARDISes. You will not find a big red knob to open the outer portals. You, girl! (I at last realized she meant me!) You are James Jordan's daughter Edna, are you not? (I nodded and my superiors sighed. I found out later a tro-con does not readily identify herself when she is supposed to be working undercover!) Not to worry. It is not ransom we seek. It is your navigational skills. (I stared at this lady like she had just announced that I was the new leader of the Aquarian Galaxy! Sure I'd taken the nav course at the Academy and yeah I'd gotten some pointers from Miss Nami, Miss Zoe and Miss Nyssa and yeah I had had Miss Angel as my instructor but I was no damned navigator, not yet anyhow!)

"You will plot a course for us to well the Captain will explain that after dinner. Shall we go inside?" invited the redhead who was now acting like a real hostess at a real dinner party. We were led into a sumptuous dining hall hung with tapestries and banners. Around the room like sentinels stood suits of knightly armour. In the centre of the hall was a huge oval table set for nine. I counted heads and came up one short to match the place settings. We all found our seats and sat down. I was seated between Mr Holy Hogg and Mr Destiny and across from Miss Angel. The Ranee who had changed from fatigues to a white dinner gown was at the foot of the table while our host The Master who reminded me of Howard Caine who portrayed Major Hochstetter the Gestapo officer on that old Hogan's Heroes ancient Terran TV show that Mikey (TMNT Michaelangelo) liked watching. The Boss and Miss D were seated on either side of their host and beside Miss Angel was the ninth setting. The Master cleared his throat and stood, wine goblet in hand. At a sign from The Ranee the rest of us stood up with wine glasses at the ready.

"May I please present my hnoured associate whom I am sure all or most all of you know. Do come in, John." said our host and a small beetle-browed snake of a man strode from the shadows to the table and stood beside Miss Angel after gently kissing her hand and bowing.

"Berringer! How the Hell did you get outta Seto Kaibo this time? Khan was transferred to Androcles VIII so he couldn't have sprung yer ass! Oro the oni (devil) are ya doin' here?" roared our fearless leader who was fuming with rage, emerald eyes flashing flame.

"See? I told you they were old friends. A toast to our newest endeavour, John. And to our other dear friends. May I present Mr Jefferson Davis Hogg from Hazzard County, Georgia in the United States of America on Terra. He and some other associates of his are from the 20th or 21st Century. (Mr Hogg bowed) And Mr Destiny who is an entrepeneur of the shipping profession. (Destiny grunted) You already know the Grand Marshall, the Grand Admiral and the Brigadier I understand. (If looks could kill JJohn Berringer would have been one roshii (dead) duck!) Lest we forget the kawaii damsel Ensign Edena Jordan. I believe you know her esteemed father. (I curtsied much to the others' disfavour but I was brought up to be polite to my elders no matter oro kind of creeps I thought they were. I had never met this guy before even if my superiors had) Now I give you my other partner the fair Ranee. (The redhead smiled but gave no other sign of recognition. Perhaps she too hated this guy?) To a long and fruitful partnership, my friends. (So saying, he draine dhis glass as did we all) Now to business. Ranee?" said The Master with a snap of his fingers.

"After dinner, my darling. Time enough for business after dessert, Master." she replied in a voice that said she would choose the time for business. We all fell to and had soon finished off the Chateaubriand, Bordeaux wine, the potatoes Lorraine, the creamed peas and carrots, the biscuits, gravy, cherries jubileee and scones. Port was decanted and poured for all hands (I got a grape knee-high like Radar O'Reilly on MASH!) and steaming hot mocha java too.

Now the Ranee excused herself and changed back into her black jumpsuit. She returned carrying a sheaf of documents and oro looked like ancient star maps. Suddenly I recalled Angie's tales of the big treasure hunt she and Mr Zero had taken a year ago. (See 'Galactic Treasure Hunt' & "Angelic Pyramid' for details) The Ranee spread them all out across the table and everyone craned to see them, even my bosses.

"We seek knowledge my friends. That is the treasure we hunt today." said The Master and The Ranee nodded solemnly.

"Many eons ago on ancient Terra, even more ancient than the Knights of the Holy Temple, there was a great leadee whom at the tender age of sixteen Terran years, wept because there were no more nations left for him to conquer. I refer to Alexander of Macedonia aka Alexander the Great. Throughout his travels he collected books, scripts, papyruses, parchments of all sorts in every language known on Terra and beyond. He amassed all of this knowledge into a storehouse he built in a city of Egypt that bears his name to this very day- Alexandria. He-" explained the Ranee.

"The great library of Alexandria? That was destroyed during the reign of Queen Hatshepsut so there's no sense in looking for it now and definitely not here beyond the stars." chortled the blonde Brigadier and The Master frowned at her.

"Onegai continue, Ranee. All will soon become clear I assure you, Miss Angel." said The Master.

"As I was saying, the great king knew that his treasures would not be safe anywhere on all of Terra so he struck a bargain with a certain mystic who had the ability to time travel. Alexander traveled forwards to the 12th Century where he met with the leader of the Knights of the Holy Temple known better as the Knights Templar. In exchange for certain unknown favours the Knights agreed to share their secrets of interstellar flight with the great king. Then-" Again the Ranee was interrupted.

"Im-possible!" shouted Mr Hogg sounding a Helluva lot like Komandant Colonel Klink on Hogan. He expounded madly about time travel being a thing of myths and legends and space travel being all mumbo jumbo and science fiction until Miss O coolly pointed out to him that he was aboard a time traveling machine in deep space and had arrived at the supper table in a flying carriage. Then he sut up. The Boss lit a cheroot and nodded to the Ranee to continue.

"One of the nine Templar Knights traveled back in time with him and constructed a starship for Alexander. Secretly and unknown to anyone on Terra at that time, the great library was emptied and loaded aboard the starship while the king had false everything made by skilled artisans who were then executed to keep the secret. These were oro Queen Hatshepsut destroyed when she burned the Library of Alexandria many many years later. The location of the library has puzzled mankind ever since that time and last year The Master and I discovered a clue which will lead us to the treasure trove. These star charts drawn by the Terran Persian (Iran) admiral Pere Reis thought for centuries to be mere bullshit drawn by a mad navigator and explorer hve at last come into our possession. However-" The Ranee hesitated and The Master came to her rescue.

"Certain runic inscriptions on these charts can be read only by a true Knight Templar. They drew the charts for the great king but did not trust him entirely. After all this megalomaniac wanted to rule an entire planet, did he not? So this was a stop gap for their own safety. Remember that Alexander now possessed the secret of space and time travel. A few years later the Knights themselves decided to hide their own vast amounts of loot in deep space. Last year I understand that this horde was found and confiscated by the UG after Khan was kind enough to help you find and recover it. Now-" The Boss had had just about enough of this pussy-footin' around and said so in o uncertain terms too!

"Why d'ya need Ensign Jordan? She can barely read her own name let alone runic insriptions in ancient Cuneiform script. You need a damned Knight for that crap." growled the firebrand Hellcat redheaded Amazon who was running out of patience fast.

"Quite correct, Reds. We need a Knight Templar. There is only one left and she is under your command. I know you'd never just hand her over to us no matter oro but perhaps Chief Commander Jordan will." said an oily-voiced Johnny Berringer.

"The jigoku (Hell) he will!" My father won't cotton to your nefarious schemes!" I screamed and Johnny smiled like a Cheshire neko (cat).

"Not even to get back his beloved daughter, my dear Ensign?" grinned The Master. I was in shock! If there was one thing Daddy would go against his principles on, it was me! He'd rant and rave, cajole and plead but in the end he'd hand over poor Angie (Lt Angela de Roncesvalles of the Intergalactic Space Command currently on loan to the 3WA and assigned to Daddy's staff) to these fiends just to save my ass!

"Sir and Madam, that is dirty pool! I like it!" said Mr Hogg who had no idea oro the Hell anyone was yakking about I was certain sure.

"Oro about swiping the 'God Gun' and destroying Gallifrey? Oro's this got to do with that?" asked a perplexed Destiny.

"The Grand Marshall was kind enough to comm relay that falsehood back to 3WA HQ so by now most of the 3WA forces are rushing to Time Lord Land and won't be able to bother us. I should have hooked up with these two long ago." said Johnny admiringly.

"Oro if we told Lt de Roncesvalles to help you? Would you then agree to release everyone and send them back to their own time eras and places?" asked the Grand Admiral very quietly.

"That I would agree to most readily, my dear Duchess. You have my word on it." replied The Master and The Ranee nodded eagerly.

"That and 500 Woolongs will get ya a mug o' cold java." said the Boss coldly. The Brigadier shook her head.

"Nai Boss, you're wrong there. He may be a villain and a miscreant, her too but he has never broken his word. I have that straight from Lord Rathelon. We can trust him and The Ranee. Berringer I won't vouch for. However, I would insist that all of us on this TARDIS accompany these three thieves on their quest. Agreed?" said the blonde and all three baddies nodded slowly.

"Of course, my dear lady. I did not intend to release anyone until after we had found our prize anyway. If you will have Miss Angela brought here we can get underway, Miss Donovan. With Miss O'Halloran's approval, of course?" replied the Master and Miss O finally grunted out an 'OK' when the portals crashed open!

"Awright you jest git them hands up all o' ya! I'm Sheriff Roscoe P Coltrane and I hereby place y'all under arrest fer whatever I kin think o' now march! See Flash? I told ya we'd git 'em , didn't I? Enos! Disarm 'em! No! Don't arrest Boss Hogg or that nice trucker Mr Destiny. Now y'all got the right to keep yer traps shut. If ya don't anythin' y'all says will be used agin y'all in a court o' law. Y'all got the right to have a lawyer fellah here afore I question y'all and if ya can't afford no lawyer Boss Hogg'll be glad to fill in fer a price. Y'all unnerstan' these here rights? Y'all wanna give up the right to keep quiet? Y'all wants a lawyer fellah? Y'all say somethin' darn it all! I am the law!" squealed the sheriff from Hazzard.

"My dear boy! You are not the law around these parts. These kawaii damsels are. (The Master indicated the Boss, Miss D, the Brig and me) Oh and your Texas pea-shooter pop guns will not function on my TARDIS which is why I did not disarm any of my dinner guests." said the Master.

"Yee-haw! Grab the gals, the trucker, Boss Hogg and let's split, cousins!" yelled Bo Duke as he, Luke and Daisy crashed through the far wall with the General Lee, an ancient Terran orange Dodge Charger. Luke was leaning out the window with a lit stick of dynamite in either hand.

"Those won't work either, gentlemen. So crude these Terrans are." said a bored Ranee. At that moment Luke tossed both sticks which simply fizzled out when the fuses got to the sticks. Berringer was roaring with laughter and so was the Boss Lady. Boss Hogg and Mr Destiny had dove under the table as had Miss Donovan.

"Yuri, call Jimmy Jordan and have Angie sent to the 'Adonis Arch' aboard the 'Diamond Dust' shuttlecraft. Have Emma (Queen Emeraldas) and her 'Emerald Queen' follow her out. Angie's to signal us when she enters the Arch and she will be beamed here to my beacon. All that OK with you three nutcases? (The Master, the Ranee and Johnny Berringer grimaced but nodded) Well get off yer ass and get out from unner the table and do it, dumbass!" growled our fearless leader.

An hour later a dutiful Angela de Roncesvalles signaled us and was beamed here to the TARDIS's dining hall.

"Wowie! This place looks like a feudal hall my ancestours might have used! Guess we ain't in Kansas no more, Toto. (Angie caught sight of her superiors and snapped to attention. Then she gave the galactic salute- clenched right fist to chest) 2nd Lt Angela Marie de Roncesvalles reporting as ordered, mum." said yet another redhead who was taller than the ranee but nowhere near as tall as the Boss.

When her duties had been explained to her, she slowly shook her red ringlets and sighed.

"With respect mum, nai. It would go aginst my code of honour to assist in finding treasure hidden by my ancestours knowing full welol that it would never find it way to any museums. I refuse and you can take my bars if you must." said the last survivour of the Knights Templar. The Master turned his icy glare on Johnny.

"Kill the fat slob, Berringer." ordered the time lord and Boss Hogg began to sweat and pray. John drew his disruptor pistol and smiled as he checked the action.

There! That's a real cliffhanger for you guys. In Chapter 7 things really heat up so watch for 'Angie's Decision' or 'The Boss Comes Home' coming soon.

END of Chapter 6.


	7. Ch7 'Angie'sDecision'TheBossComesHome'

TRUCKS IN SPACE

Chapter 7 'Angie's Decision' or 'The Boss Comes Home'

DISCLAIMER: We wanna thank Mr Takachiho for the use of his Angelic creations and all the other nice folks who are kind enough to allow us to use their creations. Any of our own stuff well anyone is welcome to use them so long as we get credit for them.

Oro a cliffhanger we left ya with huh? Unless Angie changes her mind about helping out The Master and The Ranee, Johnny Berringer will kill poor Mr Hogg! The Grand Marshall merely blew a smoke ring and speared it with her cheroot.

"So oro? Go ahead and kill him if ya wanna. He ain't my problem. (Quick as lightning in the day she yanked out both Mark XIII's and trained one on The Master and the other on The Ranee) But committin' homicide, cold-blooded murder on my beat is my concern. So go ahead and as soon as Johnny boy ices Fatso I'll ice you and Mis Prima Donna over there. Your call, Master." she growled through clenched teeth and the time lord and lady knew she was not bluffing!

John slowly lowered his disruptor and reholstered it while slowly shaking his head.

"It ain't worth it, man. I saw Reds drop hoodlums as fast as The Shadow, baby. I couldn't protect either of you in time after I shot the praying mantis here so Reds, you win, Honey." said a very scared Berringer. The Master turned his cold eyes on Angie again.

"Very well. Try and leave my TARDIS if you dare. Until the bitch agrees to my terms, nobody is going anywhere! Reds, you could order her to comply, could you not?" demanded The Master. Miss O smiled and swallowed her java royale.

"I would never give such an order and you damned well know that, you maniac. Angie, believe it or not, I think he's on the level this time. Merely translating a map seems harmless enough. I am sure we can negotiate some terms so that at least part of this find is donated to a museum of your choosing. Would that be acceptable, time lord?" said the Boss coolly. The Master and The Ranee nodded.

"No problem with me, Reds. How's about it, Vicontessa? Truce?" chortled Johnny and at last Angie nodded.

"Twenty per cent of the haul. To be donated to the Garda Vula de Kontarres Museum on Kagura or no deal, Master. Agreed?" she said in a tone that meant there would be no further bargaining on her part.

"Ten." said The Ranee.

"No deal then." replied Angie and she stood up. The Master thought quickly and then crashed his fist onto the table.

"Agreed, Lt. Twenty per cent of orosoever (whatsoever) we may find will be donated to the Garda Vula de Kontarres Museum on Kagura in your name, my dear. Anything else?" said the exasperated Time Lord while the time lady looked daggers at him and Johnny grinned. He loved animosity in any form especially between these two idiots.

"Not in my name. In memoriam of my late uncle Giles Sylvestre de Montmartre de Roncesvalles whom your associate Khan cruelly murdered. Agreed?" cried Angela the tears streaming down her cheeks. Even though Khan had assured her that he had not ordered the old man's death still he had ordered his henchmen to torture him. In the end they had found out nothing and in anger Khan's lieutenant had blasted her uncle with a point blank disruptor bolt. Khan had killed the man himself when he had found out but not because his underling had killed Uncle Giles. He had killed him because with Uncle Giles gone so was the map!

"Agreed, my dear Vicontessa. You realize, I trust, that I had nothing to do with Khan? Had I been there, your poor uncle would not have been tortured and killed. You have my word on that and you can take that to the bank." said the Master defiantly.

"The old fool had one foot in the grave and the other one on a banana peel anyway. Who cares how he died?" laughed John Berringer and Angie sprang. However, the Ranee was quicker and slapped John across the cheek- hard.

"How dare you malign a Knight of the Templar Order, Berringer! Giles de Roncesvalles was a gentleman, something you could never be! Nor you, Master! Onegai accept my apologies, my dear child, for my associates' rude behaviour! Arigatou (Thank you) for agreeing to assist us in our quest for knowledge. But be warned. If you try anything underhanded I don't care whether you are the last of the line or not- I will kill you. Like Reds there I do not jest either." said the Ranee angrily.

"Let me see the maps. Where the Hell'd you ever find these? The last time I saw them was in a museum on Lydus V! Stole them probably huh? You know these runes are usually riddles, right? Hmmn. Stand where the three suns can be seen at sunset and all will be revealed. That means back home for us. Can this tin can make it, Mr Master?" said a suddenly excited Angie.

"Of course! This IS a Type 40 after all! Where is home, my child?" asked the Ranee eagerly.

"Shimougou. Either Elenore or Furool (Foo-Lon) City but I'd say they meant Furool because it's in the East." replied the girl.

"But don't the sun rise in the East and set in the West, Miss de Roncesvalles? I'm just an ol' Southern boy but I did learn that in school." said Boss Hogg.

"I didn't know you actually went to school, Boss. Uncle Jessie says you were always playin' hooky." giggled Daisy Duke.

A red-daced Boss Hogg admitted that but said he sometimes went to class and he did graduate. After that though he and Jessie Duke did become moonshining ridge runners which are the delivery men of illegal rot gut booze made in the hills of Southern USA on ancient Terra.

"You are quite correct, Mr Hogg. On Terra, your Earth, the sun does indeed set in the West and rise in the East but then again you only have a single sun and moon. Shimougou has three suns and a few dozen moons. There the suns all rise in the West and set in the East. The best vantage point there would be-" began Angie.

"The roof of the old Waldess Building or oro's left of it now!" I blurted out without thinking. Angie nodded.

"Exactly. So shall we head for home or not, Mr M?" finished the last survivour of the Knights Templar.

"Ranee. Have Glork change course and head for Shimougou with all possible speed. We should arrive in an hour or two. Change our outward appearance to now oro would not be too conspicuous? I have it. Have us resemble a 3WA starship. (Miss O and Miss D looked daggers at him but said nothing) Now my dear if you don't mind." commanded the time lord.

"By your command." said the time lady and she left the room. I rose to follow as did the rest. The Master waved us back to our chairs.

"Relax. I can't have you knowing where my bridge is located, can I? Glork will get us there. He is (He looked at the Boss lady and the Duchess) like your Mugghi. An inumata created biogentically rather than a nekomata created the same way. In other words he resembles a giant 3 metres (9 feet) tall dog rather than a cat! I liberated him from the Beast on Krull. He is fiercely loyal and will do oroever (whatever) I tell him to do and that includes kill so be warned. Now more java anyone or do you prefer tea?" said the Master.

"You Terran people may be interested in our games lounge. Anyone else is welcome to accompany us. Follow me. With your permission, my Master? (The time lord nodded) Then come along." invited Johnny Berringer. The Boss signed to us and Boss Hogg whom JB had been about to finish off that it was safe to accompany him. They left with the Dukes, the Sheriff and his deputy, Boss Hogg, Mr Destiny and Miss D. The Boss lady, the Brigadier and me remained seated. I for one did not trut anyone on this time traveling thing!

An hour later the Ranee announced that we had arrived. The Master rose, signed for us to follow him and off we went in his skysled to a strange looking room. At one end of it was a small stage with black squares painted on its floor. At the other end was a control panel built into a podium. The Master directed all of us (Johnny's group and the Ranee were already there along with a huge dog thing that was like Marmaduke only a lot bigger!) to stand on one of the squares. Then he activated some controls and dashed across the room to leap onto the square beside me.

Next thing I knew I felt like I was being taken apart! It lasted no more than a few nanoseconds, however, and then I was standing on the roof spaceport at the Academy beside the 'Lovely Angel 6'! I was sure there were only three with a fourth in Professor Cueball's lab but I said zilch. Miss O grinned and pointed out the glaring error to Miss D and the Brig who also got the joke and grinned. I didn't dare tell Angie because she was so honest she'd have said something about it.

"How far is this Waldess edifice from here?" asked our host.

"Twenty-five kilometres from here, time lord. Do you propose to walk?" chuckled Johnny.

"Nai, of course not. You (He pointed at me) will appropriate a conveyance large enough for all of us. Be back here in ten minutes or I will kill someone. I am not kidding, my child. Go." said the Master and I scooted off for the motor pool deck three levels down. Then the fun began. You see I'm only an Ensign and not an acting anything because I am still a cadet and as such I am not entitled to give orders to anyone save a subby or Sub-Ensign!

I got out on the motor pool deck and sauntered over to a shuttlecraft (It was the 'Andrea Doria' and I knew it belonged to my dad, Jim Jordan) and casually picked the latches. A meathook landed on my shoulder!

"Just oro in the Sam Hell are you doing there, Ensign? This area is off limits to cadets! Let's see some ID, girl and I mean now!" said Lt Commander Dynamo. He was a troglodyte, part dinosaur and part some other kind of alien and as a rule a nice guy. He was Chief Engineer on the Boss's 'LA2' or at least he was last time I ran into him. I tried bluffing him. Big mistake!

"I'm Jordan, Edna Jordan, Mr Dynamo, remember? Chief Jordan's my dad. I'm supposed to clean the 'AD' for him. Well it's sort of a punishment thing ya know? Anyway (I fished out my holo vidcard ID and handed it to him) if he finds out-" I blustered.

"Nobody told me and I'm OD (Officer of the Day) on this deck today. Gonna go for a joyride with those dipstick pals o' yours eh?" he said and I stuck out my hand for my card. He wasn't buying my story and he didn't return my ID either! I stamped my foot.

"Let's go see 'Daddy' and have a talk, shall we?" He turned to go and I snatched back my card and drew my Mark XII disruptor cannon.

"Let's not, Lizard! Lose the hardware- now! (He glowered and dropped his piece) Now march! (He preceded me to the shuttlecraft. Now open the damned hatch! (He complied. I knew oro I did next was probably going to cost me my commission but I did it anyway! I smashed the gull wing hatch portal down onto the giant and bashed him over the skull with my Mark. He went down like a pole-axed steer and I dragged him into the shadows of an X-Wing fighter and left him there with a note explaining our dilemma. I checked my wrist chromo. 3 minutes left!) Dammit! That lizard used up a lot of time!" I said aloud.

I leaped aboard, slammed down the hatch portal and fired up the nacelles. I had no idea how to use the thrusters yet. That class was still to come! I managed to lift off the floor and jetted to the end of the runway. I jumped out and pressed the airlock controls. I got back inside and floated the monster ship (The 'AD' was larger than the 4 Renaissance shuttles named after the TMNTs) out the airlock. I couldn't seal it behind me but oro the jigoku else could I do? I lifted straight up to the roof and hovered. I cracked the hatch portal and yelled I was back but I didn't know how to land this damned thing!

The Brigadier (Kami bless her) raced across and dove through the open hatchway. She quickly brought us onto the roofport and shut down the twin nacelle engines. Everyone piled aboard and Miss Angel said I'd done a good job which was tantamount to Sir Topham Hat telling Thomas he'd been a useful engine on that ancient Terran kids TV show.

We lifted off and sped at SubWarp 6 (I think the limit in the city is like SW 8) to the Waldess Building where she landed the craft. It was 1500 (3 PM) and still several hours before sunset. Luckily this place was deserted and in a run down sector of FC so we were safe from being challenged because I hadn't yet told anyone about poor Mr Dynamo!

"Now we wait. Sunset is at (Angie checked her 'Old Farmer's Almanac' which BION was still being published in AD 2255!) 1837 that means a little after half past six in the evening. I'm bored and tired. With your permission, Mr Master, I'd like to sack out for awhile." said our treasure seeker map translator.

"We will all remain on this vessel. I do not need anyone signaling for help. Did you have any problems liberating this ship, Miss Jordan?" he asked and I lied and told him nai. He nodded sagely and gave us the run of the ship. However, he kept the Boss lady and the Duchess in the lounge. JB and the Ranee were discussing tactics and the Brigadier nudged me.

"No trouble at all? C'mon Edna, oro happened back there?" whispered the blonde everything.

"Mr Dynamo was OD and he wouldn't believe my story that I was supposed to clean the shuttle for Daddy. So I, I, I knocked him out with the portal and bashed him with my cannon. I stuck him in the shadows and left a note where we were going. I'm sorry, mum but it was all I could think of doing." I explained and then began to cry. The Brig shushed me and told me not to worry about it.

"He's a trog and tough as they come. He'll be OK, kiddo. By the time they find him, we'll be long gone I'm afraid. Unless somebody spots that phony Angel 6 we're off on another treasure hunt to Kami knows where. Get some sleep, Suba. (I looked surprised because a Suba is a Subaltern which is one rank below a second looey! She fished out a paper and handed it to me) Your new commission came through just before we got the hijacking mission and the Bos said she wanted to pin your new bar stripes on you herself but you are a Subaltern (jg) nonetheless. Let's make this our lil secret huh? (I nodded) OK better sleep now. No way of knowing when you'll get another chance. (She checked her wristchromo) Three hours left. I'll wake you at sunset. Pleasant dreams, kid." said Miss Angel and I drifted into a doze from which I awoke when she gently prodded my arm.

"Time. Get up, Edna." said the Brig and we all trooped out onto the roof as the three suns were setting. Angie was using a thing called a sextant to study the darkening skies and finally tapped in a few things on her PDO (Personal Digital Organizer) vidpad. Then she smiled.

"Boss? (Miss O turned and said "Huh?") Looks like a homecoming for you. We go to the Omega Quadrant in the Sagitarrian Galaxy- to 'Workoh'." replied Angie and Miss O's face went as dark as a thundercloud!

Another cliffhanger for ya folks. Stay tuned for 'Casting the Runes' or 'Off to Neverland Again' in Chapter 8 coming soon. As always onegai R/R/S away. STG and the Boss Man KZ need all the help they can get these days. Sayonara hazu.

END of Chapter 7.


	8. Ch8'CastingtheRunes'OfftoNeverlandAgai

TRUCKS IN SPACE

'Casting the Runes' or 'Off to Neverland Again'

DISCLAIMER: We wanna thank Mr Takachiho for the use of his Angelic creations and all the other nice folks who are kind enough to allow us to use their creations. Any of our own stuff well anyone is welcome to use them so long as we get credit for them.

Well! Why did the Boss lady get so mad about having to go to 'Workoh' which I had never even heard of guys? Then we found out that Miss O'Halloran had been well sorta born there. I mean according to the Brig and Miss Donovan the Boss lady had been like a test tube baby on ancient Terra but a lot more! For instance she could carry two or even three big Mark XXXV's- long barreled ion cannons and well Miss Angel's damned strong and she couldn't even lift one! Miss O's reflexes were lightning fast and she was a crack shot with any weapon whether or not she had used it before or not! Why she didn't like the idea of a homecoming though she kept mum. Even Miss D and the Brig had no idea.

"Well? You heard our navvie, diidn't ya? Tell that dog o' yours to take us to 'Workoh'. It ain't in no 'Galactic Compendium Index' neither! Angie! Give 'em the coordinates. That's an order, Lt." growled the big redhead.

We hurried towards the 'Andrea' but the Master stopped us and pulled out a comm mike.

"TARDIS, lock in on this area and transport everything on this rooftop back to my transport room in thirty seconds from now." he said and then had us all stand in a tight knit group for the transfer. Whoosh! We were back in that strange room again and I felt like upchucking but bravely held it in! We were hustled down to the dining hall again but Angie was herded off by JB and the Ranee. The Master waved us to our chairs and ordered dinner.

"Where is my lieutenant, Master?" demanded the Boss lady angrily.

"On my bridge. Don't worry. She has been blindfolded so she won't be able to tell you where it is, my dear Marshall. She will be our guide since this place you hail from is not in the 'Galactic Index' and the Ranee and I have never heard tell of it. How far away is it, Reds?" said the time lord and the Boss lady glowered at him.

"Oro's this tub's top speed, time lord? At Warp 50 'Workoh' is a two or three months' voyage." she replied and lit a cheroot.

"Wouldn't you like to know. However, much faster than that. By my reckoning, we'll make planetfall in less than a solar week." he said and poured more 'Jameson's for our fearless leader and himself. Seems like this guy had a cast iron gut! I got sick on the White Zinfandel that Miss D preferred! I got another grape knee-high, the Dukes, the cops and Boss Hogg all had beer, Mr Destiny had vodka and the Brigadier had Cutty Sark Skotch whiskey.

Dinner was served and I pigged out on it! So did the Boss lady and Mr Hogg, the cops, the Dukes (even Miss Daisy!) while the others merely ate like ladies and gentlemen. We had full and plenty too. This time lord host was no meanie when it came to food and drinks! Big Porterhouse steaks, baked taters, salad, sweet potatoes, peas, corn, green beans, more biscuits and gravy, dumplings, Boston cream pie and java or tea.

"A week is a long time I know, dear friends. However, if you give me your word not to wander aimlessly around my TARDIS I will allow you the use of a small sector of it. Wander too far and you'll hit a force field beam barrier. Try to break through it and I'll revoke all privileges and confine you to MY brig. (He looked directly at us!) Other than that you'll find plenty to occupy your time. Oh yes, do not try to escape on the shuttlecraft because I have booby-trapped it. The Ranee will be around to assign sleeping quarters for you in an hour. Not to worry. She'll find you so don't go off exploring. Anyone want more to eat or drink? Cigars? Cigarettes? Tiparillos? Nai? Then I bid you good night." he said and left the dining salon.

"Pick a door, any door eh? Let's see oro we have behind Door Number One, shall we?" chortled Mr Destiny and he sauntered off through the door behind me. I followed him and we spent a delightful evening playing Duel Monsters. He was good but I beat him five out of seven. Then the Ranee found us and assigned us adjoining quarters. A sitting room, a kitchenette, a bathroom and a bedroom made up my suite! Back at the dorms I had to share with three other cadets and that was bunk beds. Here I had a big four poster Louis XIV bed with silk sheets and counterpane to match. These time jockeys sure knew how to live man!

Each room had a replicator and I admit it- I pigged out on goodies! Next morning there was a loud tattoo on the door from the hallway and when I finally tumbled out of bed, put on a kimono and answered the door while rubbing sleep out of my eyes, it was the Ranee! She took one look at me and looked away in disgust.

"Your presence is ordered on the bridge immediately, Jordan. I will remain in this room while you change. You will find fuku (clothing) in your closet that should fit you. It is not required that you be in uniform for the duration of our quest. It has been cleared with 'She Who WILL Be Obeyed' so you need have no worries. Hurry up. I do not have all day, girl!" she snapped.

I showered and dressed in jeans, polo shirt and jogging shoes, tucked a small Mark III into my jeans' waistband at the samll of my back and tossed a leather jacket over all to cover it. The Ranee was waiting impatiently and ticking cigarette ashes all over the Persian rug in the sitting room. Oro did I care, it wasn't my place after all, was it? She conducted me not to a waiting speeder or skysled but to that darned old transport room! I swallowed hard and shut my eyes as tight as I could and tried not to cry or vomit.

Whoosh! When I opened my eyes and swallowed hard again we were in a curious cylindrical room with a small desk in its centre. Atop the desk was a huge green and red piston pulsating with light and churning up and down like a butter churn! A star vidmap was spread out on the desk and a worried Lt Angie was staring at it in shock.

"I tell you that the damned thing was here last year, Mr Master! (Then she spied me) Edna! Servie (Federation President Servalan from some far off region whom I'd met at an ambassadorial ball once last year) told you about that jaunt we took to the Omega Quad in the Sagitarrian Galaxy last year, didn't she?" pleaded the tall redhead anxiously and I nodded dumbly.

"Great! Show us where she said the Omega Quad began. Onegai?" she begged me, her eyes filled with terror. All I'd been told by Miss Servalan was that the darn Quad began somewhere near a star cluster called Subaru! Nevertheless I walked over and perused the charts carefully.

"I am not amused with this latest stalling tactic, Lt de Roncesvalles. You have five minutes to give Glork the next course or I will eliminate someone. You have asked for Subaltern Edna Jordan (Was there anything this guy didn't know about I wondered?) and she is here. (He glanced at the wall chromo) It is now 0730 hours. You have until 0735 hours or Miss Daisy Duke will die. I suggest that you stop wasting valuable time, ladies." said the Master in a very menacing voice. The Ranee covered us both with her small but deadly automatic pistols.

"All she told me was it's near the Subaru star cluster, Lt. A grouping of seven stars like Terra's seven sisters. Just South of it she said but that's all I know, Lt I swear." I whispered but Angie was already using protractor, ruler, triangle and compass.

"It's The Pleiades! I'm a royal ass for not remembering that, Edna! Arigatou a lot, girl. I owe ya one, a damned big one!" she said excitedly then grabbed a vid mike from the desktop.

"Glork? Coordiantes are NNE 347.89 latitude and SSW 246.18 longitude and watch for a grouping of seven stars. Steer due South of them and 'Workoh' will be dead ahead on that same track 7 lightyears. Got all that? (The dog thing grunted) Any problems just comm relay me back. De Roncesvalles out." she finished and tossed down the vid mike angrily.

"There! Now call off your trained bitch and that trigger-happy moron Berringer!" yelled Angie and at a nod from our host the Ranee re-holstered her cannons and keyed the vid mike.

"Berringer, stand down and release the Terran brat. The lieutenant has seen reason at last. Huh? The Master's orders of course, you dimwit! Ranee out." she finished and grabbed me by the collar of my jacket.

"The subaltern will remain here in case the lieutenant gets absent-minded again. Inform the others that she and the redhead are quite safe. Then bring some nourishment for these two ladies. Go." commanded the rogue time lord and the Ranee left.

"As you may have noticed, my dears, this is the power room of my TARDIS, not its control room which was why I did not remove the homing beacon from your ahem unmentionables, ladies. Glork is on my actual bridge and that is nowhere near this sector of my Type 40 travel machine." chortled our host while pouring out steaming mugs of Mocha Java Lattes for us. Angie was struck dumb. She might have known about the beacons but I sure as the Hell didn't! I was glad in a way that this wasn't the bridge because this guy looked like he wouldn't hesitate a second to have us strip searched!

"If I were on the bridge, sir, it might make things a little easier for us. As a navvie, I usually like to see where I'm heading." said a defiant Knight Templar maiden.

"Yes and you could also get a message back to your cronies to storm the bridge too, Miss de Roncesvalles, right? Yes I know. You gave me your word but although I will take the word of a 3WA or UG member, you are not eith either organization, are you? So I have no idea whether or not your word is sacred, do I? Ah, here comes Natasha with your breakfasts. Sit down and eat. It is going to be a very long day for you two. If you will onegai gomen (please excuse me) nature calls. I shall return or to paraphrase the late great Terran actor from 20th Century Austria I'll be bach." chuckled the Master and he departed while Natasha Ranee laid out our breakfasts and refilled our java mugs.

"Your superiors know that you are assisting us and that you are both fine- for the time being anyway. As long as you behave yourselves, all will be well. A word of warning though- do not anger me and especially do not anger him!" she said venomously.

"And after you find this treasure? Oro happens to us then, Natasha?" I demanded.

"The Master has give his word and I have given mine. You will all be released unharmed and left with your convoy at the mouth of the Adonis Arch. Your share of the find and the ancient charts and MS's will be placed aboard your carriages. However, play us false and all of you shall ride the Mare of Steel which we liberated from ancient Terran Morocco. Have you seen the old Terran film about the Vikings and the golden bell? (We both nodded and our eyes were wide with fear) Then you know oro I am talking about, do you not? All we want is the Great Library of Alexandria and we are willing to share it with you. Through that door you will find a gameroom with fully stocked bar and kitchen and bathrooms as well as bedrooms. That suite of rooms and this one are your world unless our gracious host decides to the contrary. Disobey our orders and all of the Terrans will die. Good day." said the Ranee or Natasha as we now knew her and she left the room not bothering to lock or even latch the portal behind her.

The lieutenant was wearing a salmon coloured pantsuit and she shucked off coat, vest and tie before once again poring over the maps on the desk. She lit a cheroot and sipped her java quietly. Then she beckoned and I came over and sat down after shucking my jacket and transferring the miniblaster to my jacket pocket.

"Might as well tackle the next inscription, Edie. Let me see. 'Where was the first sun? Over the alkadrad. Where was the third moon? Under the zyblagoran. How was it stepped? North 5 by 5. East 4 by 4. West 3 by 3. South 2 by 2. Up 1 by 1 and so under. Whom shall seek it? She who will come. How shall we know her? By the blaze of her mane. Whom shall she be? The last of the last and 12 generations old. Will she find it? Yea she shall. Why should be allow her? For the sake of the trust. Will she be warned? Yea she must. What be the warning? That time must never have it for it shall lead to chaos brought by the four of the horse. Time shall come with her twice but a sacrifice there must be.- Giles de Montmartre.' The next stanza is too faint to read. I'll need some chemicals to bring it up so I can read it. Oro do you think it means, Edie?" said a puzzled Angie.

"It seems familiar somehow. Like something I read but I just can't put my finger on it, mum." I replied.

"Yeah, damned familiar, Edie and onegai it's Angie. OK? You know how the Boss hates formality, don't you?" giggled Angie.

"Yeah and- Doyle! Sir Arthur Conan Doyle! It's from one of the Sherlock adventures. (I snapped my fingers) Got it! It's from 'The Musgrave Ritual' and it told where to find hidden loot from the Cromwell days or something." I replied excitedly. This was fun.

"Yes. I think you've hit it, Edie." cried an elated Knight.

"Only oro an 'alkadrad' and a 'zyblagoran' has to do with it I can't quite fathom. Isn't Giles de Montmartre one of the Knights Templar order, Angie?" I asked and she nodded.

"One of the 9 original founders and my ancestour, kiddo. An 'alkadrad' and a 'zyblagoran' are trees. On ancient Terra and in Mr Doyle's book they were called 'oak' and 'elm' respectively. First sun would mean we take the first reading in daylight and third moon means we must take the second reading at night or when the moon's in its third quarter or maybe there's more than a single moon or- Ooh! I've got a headache! Got any 'hydroxylein' (Like 'Aleve' tablets or capsules it's a pain killer) man?" asked Angie and I repped up two capsules and a glass of water for her. Then I insisted she get some sleep and she grudgingly agreed but told me to find out from the Boss how many suns and moons her home world possessed if I could.

Sudenly I heard the Boss in my skull! She told me not to be alarmed but most of us female 3WA tro-cons had the uncanny knack of thought transference or mental telepathy! Then she told me that 'Workoh' had six suns and seven moons. Furthermore she told me that Moon #3 rose at the same time as the first sun! That meant we could take both readings at the same time- when both sun and moon rose to greet the day! I thought a domo arigatou to her and dug out an old holo vidbook and re-read 'The Musgrave Ritual' from start to finish three times before my tummy told me it was time for lunch!

Angie was delighted with the news and told me that she too had heard the Boss in her noggin while taking her nap. The telepathic powers were ours because of the Angels' closeness to the Mugghi as both of the huge kitties had been patterned after the Boss and the Duchess! That was why one Mugghi was so arrogant and bossy while the other one was so demure and subservient.

However, some males like Walter from the Nova Hellsing and Legato Bluesummers the BetaZoid and Alphonse Elric the alchemist to name a few had this ability as well as us. Funny though, Angie mused, although Al could telepath, his elder brother Edward Elric could not even though in alchemy he was the expert and Al the novice! Go figure huh?

Angie ate ravenously and sad to say allowed her table manners to diminish until she really resembled the Boss at her trencher! Three giant foot long Philly cheesesteaks, five orders of French fries and French fried onions, four chocolate milkshakes and three pieces of lemon meringue pie! This was soon followed by gallons of java and cheroot after cheroot while she pored over the star maps after lunch. I contented myself with yogurt, a burger, one each of frie and onions, two vanilla milkshakes and one piece of Boston cream pie followed later by a quart of java and NO cheroots! I wasn't old enough (everyone else agreed) to smoke yet! Oh but I was plenty old enough to get my ass shot at and kidnapped huh?

Angie was disgusted! She had asked the Boss lady five times (via telepathy because we didn't dare leave our little world of dining hall/map room and suites of sitting room, bedrooms, kitchenette and bathrooms) how to find a map of Workoh but the Boss insisted there never had been such a thing as a map for the faroff world and she (The Boss) did not thinking about her home world one damned little bit! The Knights Templar maiden turned to me with a face as black as a thundercloud.

"Why? Oro is the damned reason why the Boss is so dead set against going back home? I'm homesick for Kagura every damned day! I was born and raised there, Edie. I was sent off to school on Shimougou (Not at the Academy) when I was eight and I have only been back there on business. Admiral Zero was kind enough to bring me home for Uncle Giles's funeral and to let me go through his attic. He even let us talk him into taking us all treasure hunting! (See 'Galactic Treasure Hunt' and 'Angelic Pyramid' for full details of this earlier jaunt) I'd love to go home just for a day to see my old chums and the old homestead and familiar surroundings but in the IGSC (InterGalactic Space Command) even a first looey has to wait five years for a vacation and I'm only an acting first silver bar. So oro is waiting for the Marshall on Workoh or who? Dammit!" said a very angry Angela marie Theresa de Montmartre de Roncesvalles.

"Darned if I know, Angie. I had never even heard of the place before yesterday. You're a navvie. Oro do you know about it?" I asked and Angie shook her head.

"Not much. Just that it sits barely within the Sagitarrian Galaxy borders and it's a very lonely and spooky world. Gysymeo is a more cheerful place and it's a frigging ice world. Let's see oro we can find out about it." chortled a no longer angry Angie. She keyed up and beckoned me over to a seat beside her. She'd shoved aside the precious parchment and papyrus scroll star maps, java mugs, ashtrays and empty food plates to make room for her portable all in one PDO and monitor screen. Sure you might have a big 24 inch screen on your monitor but this one was huge! Almost two full metres measured diagonally from top left to bottom right corner! Like an ancient Terran HD TV set if you need a comparable simile.

"Hmmn. Colony planet. Once used as a penal colony. Disbanded and discontinued use in AD 2238. The Boss would have been 7 or 8 back then. Very stormy. Gloomy place. Cold, frigid, icy. Heat wave in summer. Goes all the way up to 25 Kelvin, that's minus 35 F kiddo. Don't ask me in Centigrade or Celsius. Nami's the brain whiz for figures, not me. Nothing there huh? Wait. This might explain her reluctance to go home. Once housed amonst other arch criminals the rogue time lord Omegan (O-Mi-Gone) and the Beast of Krull! Can't say she evr tangled with the time jockey although the Doctors did. However, she did slay that Beast on Krull to rescue one of our scientists! I know that for a fact because the lady she sprung is your Dr Cueball's new lab assistant, Susan or Sarah something! That must be it, Edie." explained Angie who lit up another cheroot. Gad! Did Auntie Faye give everyone those smelly things?

"I dunno 'bout that, Angie. Unpleasant memories, sure. Seeing either one of those freaks when you're a kid would scare the shit out of ya but the Boss well I've seen her face down a room full of armed thugs and not bat an eyelash! Not like her to be scared of memories. She left at too young an age to leave behind a boyfriend or-" I said and then the Boss's voice shook my skull (and Angie's too if that look of shock on her face was any indicator) like thunder.

"Not the Beast I fear. He's roshii. I know because I killed him. When they stopped using Workoh as a penal colony shortly after I left the planet, they either transferred the prisoners to Seto Kaiba or Andromeda penal colonies. But those bird brains on the Gallifreyan High Council of Time Lords decided to rescind Omegan's sentence! After all, the only thing he did was try to destroy Terra with the Master, Gary 7 and Sutek! Most of the other pardoned prisoners had learned their lessons and soon returned to useful honest lives.

"Not so Omegan. He decided to become a scientist! He has worked for every crumb of crime from Vader to Berringer and then some! He even moved back to Workoh and took over the old castle where I was created and where I had been trained as a warrior before it had been decided to send me to Kagura. I got bored there and hopped a tramp freighter ship to Mars. From there I stowed away on a troop ship which turned out to be a 3WA patrol vessel.

"The head of the 3WA was Vittorio F X Galadriel and when I was found it was to him I was taken. He liked my attitude and soon I had been enrolled at the Academy. Three weeks later another brat was assigned to me as a roomie. She hailed from Shack G another backwater world and she never shut up! Still hasn't although now she's a Grand Admiral and my exec. How Yuri ever got through the shooting courses at the Academy is a guarded secret to this day and if you tell anyone else about this I'll kill you two. I did the shooting for her and it was damned hard to miss even once yet to get her through her shooting scores had to average, not too low and not too high either or it'd blow the gaff! I have never ever shot a less than perfect score except on purpose I'll have you know. I can't do it. That just wasn't part of the way I was made.

"Now as to my reluctance to return to Workoh. It is none of your damned business. Now just find us the shortest route there and keep your thoughts buried." The voice ended and we looked at each other in wonderment. As a rule, our fearless leader was not a magpie!

"Boss, if you can hear me, we understand how a traumatic experience when you're so young could frighten you so-" said Angie.

"Frightened? Don't make me laugh, kiddo! I ain't afeared o' anything this side of the grave or t'other! However, and this is just between us, how do you two feel about prophecies? Especially ones that have not been wrong yet and they were written down twenty thousand centuries ago! I refer to the one that allowed me to finally seal the rift in the time/space continuum, the one that some jackal-headed baka idiot has just reopened! Not to bore you and ask the Brigadier if you don't believe me, part of that ancient prophecy says this:

'If a female born not of man nor again of woman whose hair be the shade of the sky before dawn on Shimougou (fiery red) whom hath once saved the Universes should ever return to her birth home chaos will reign and all that hath been done before will surely be undone-'

"That, dear friends is why I am so hesitant to return to Workoh again. It was to Workoh I was forced to return on our last voyage before I took over the Academy and Rathelon would not allow me to take anyone along nor even to tell anyone where I was bound for or even that I had left Mars! He forced me to abandon my away team on Mars and then he brought Savvie and Mar to help me. So I leave it up to you. We must return to Workoh but perhaps if I do not set foot upon its soil and merely remain here aboard this thing of the Master's maybe I can beat the prophecy. In any case, that is exactly oro I am going to do. Now find us that course and a shortcut or two would be nice." The voice again ended and we looked at each other in shock.

"Should we tell the Brig or not?" I demanded and Angie buried her head in her hands and sobbed.

"Oro's the matter, Angie? It's not that darned bad, is it?" I asked and tried to comfort her. I patted her back gently.

"My ancestours wrote that damned prophecy and they are never wrong, Edie! They don't usually leave loopholes like the one the Boss is trying to create! All I can do is tell the Master." said a defiant Angie and she sat bolt upright tipping over the table! I managed to grab the monitor screen and PDO unit but maps, scrolls, java cups, plates, ashes, ashtrays, water carafes and the rest all crashed to the floor causing an unholy mess! Yuckie!

"Tell me oro? I already know all about the damned prophecy, ladies. Rest assured that Miss O'Halloran will not be asked to leave my TARDIS. In fact I am going to order her to stay aboard. Don't worry about the mess. Glork! Reverse happening. Now you two do as you have been told and find us the fastest route to Workoh. Now that we know why Reds has been so adamant about not going home we can all relax. Not to worry. Everone will be joining us for dinner in the large dining hall so you needn't worry about Miss DelCroix and the handsome Luke, ladies." The Master's voice ended as abruptly as it had started! We both blushed.

Miraculously the table had righted itself sliding itself gently under the monitor and PDO to which I was hanging onto for dear life! Then all of the stuff from the table was restored to its rightful place. Not a thing had been damaged in any way oroseoever (whatsoever) and not a drop of liquid had been spilled.

"The Master is adept at many things and although charming, he is also ruthless and deadly so do not let your guard down for an instant. Angie and Edna- I am counting on you to solve this riddle and get us off Workoh tout sweet. Need anyone else because I don't think the Master is going to allow any sight-seeing while we are here. Ah! Good choice, Angie. Suzy Quinn is a damned good cartographer and no slouch with a cannon either! Man! This telepathing junk just gave me a huge hydroxylein headache! I'm gonna grab forty winks or so. Back to work, kids." said our Boss's voice and then it too was gone.

A few minutes later The Ranee opened the portals and shoved Suzy Quinn from IGSC affectionately known as the Galactic Exterminator because of her fierce and deadly fighting skills into the room and tossed her gunsash, power packs and twin Mark XIII ion cannons onto the floor behind her.

"Damned brat tried to brain me with those toys! Try that again, Suzy Q and I will kill you. See you at dinner. Glork will call for you three at 1955, that's five to eight tonight, Edie. Find us that course dammit. The Master will not wait forever you know." said the time lady and the portals snapped shut behind her. Then we heard the code latches click into place.

"You OK, Suze?" I asked while Angie forced some brandy down her throat. A mouse under her left eye and a bruise on her right cheek told us that the Ranee plays rough! Suzy tried to stand and grabbed the table edge before sinking back to her knees. Between the two of us we got her onto a chair and forced more brandy down her gullet.


	9. Ch 9 'Bounty IS Bounty'Solo Goes Solo'

TRUCKS IN SPACE

Chapter 9 'Bounty IS Bounty' or 'Solo Goes Solo'

DISCLAIMER: We wanna thank Mr Takachiho for the use of his Angelic creations and all the other nice folks who are kind enough to allow us to use their creations. Any of our own stuff well anyone is welcome to use them so long as we get credit for them.

Riddle me this- where are the most pirates found? Where is it that neither the IGSC, the 3WA, the ISSP nor the KASP have any jurisdiction? That was at the end of our last chapter so I'd better tell ya the answer afore ya get mad. It's a lawless sector that don't recognize any law but their own and that law is NO LAW! Corellian Space is avoided like the plague by anyone with good common sense which probably explained why both the Boss lady and General Solo seemed to like the place!

The Boss lady was thunderstruck as was everyone else who recognized Mr Solo anyhow! I had not seen him since his wedding to President Leia Skywalker Organa the leader of Kurestan the New Republic.

Mr Solo with these hooligans? Didn't make no sense to me nor to the others except the Boss who smiled and said:

"Hullo Han. Fancy meetin' you here. Siddown by me and take a load off. Don't worry, I won't kick ya unless ya need it. C'mon."

The general cautiously sat down and the Master laughed.

"Mr Solo has been kind enough to tell me where to find that ancient manuscript that Miss de Roncesvalles has been translating for us. Glork! More wine!" said the time lord and Angie went very red in the face. It took both me and Suzy Quinn the Galactic Enforcer (I apologize if in an earlier mention I called her something different) to keep the redheaded Knight from tearing out Mr Solo's eyes!

"You bastard! How could you! Don't you know that this megalomanical fool is insane and only thirsts for power? You knew my Uncle Giles, Solo! I know that he had nothing to do with my uncle's killing but still and all that does not explain why you of all people would-" screamed Angie until we finally got her sat down and the Boss clapped a gloved hand across her mouth!

"Why Vicontessa? The answer is simple. This warlock and witch (He pointed to Natasha Ranee who smiled and waved to him) have kidnapped Leia and the kids! I was forced to go and find the damned scrolls for him! Oro the Hell else could I do? Oro would you have done in my place? Refuse him and watch while he tortured Leia, Lahna and Lance to death! I did oro I had to do and if I had it to do over, I'd have done nothing differently!" yelled Han Solo angrily.

I guess I oughta explain that Mr Solo married Princess leia Skywalker Organa back in AD 2250 and that they had two darling four year olds, twins named Lahna and Lance. How exactly the old devil got to Mr Solo's family in Kurestan was beyond me. The place was like a fortress and tighter than ancient Terra's Fort Knox! Slowly Angie recovered her composure and sighed.

"I apologize, sir. I should have known you would have never thrown in with these three villains of your own free will." she said.

"Of course not, kid! It's true I'm a rogue, a smuggler, a rebel even but I am not a baka idiot! When you see John's goons holding plasma rifles on your two kids and your wife though you have to make decisions you don't wanna make and do things you don't wanna do. I don't even know oro the devil they're after. Oro are those maps for, Vicontessa?" replied the ex-smuggler.

"Supposedly my ancestours made a deal with the ancient Terran King Alexander of Macedonia aka Alexander the Great. They assisted him in removing the contents of his great library at Alexanderia in Egypt before it was put to the torch. They taught him the secret of interstellar space travel and helped him to hide the scrolls, manuscripts, books, statues and paintings somewhere out there in the cosmos. These are ancient star charts that you found for him. Where did you find them, General?" said Angie.

"Sorry kid but I promised a dear friend never to reveal where they were. He'll tell you that I didn't even tell the Master that fact and I never will either. Suffice it to say that they were found in Corellia and let it go at that. Where are we off to now?" finished Solo.

"He's telling you the truth you know. I worked him over pretty dmned good and he wouldn't tell us nothing." explained Johnny Berringer. The desperado bandit chief was standing right behind my chair. My eyes had already popped halfway outta my skull when I heard the name Corellia! Corellian Space was taboo to everyone in the twelve galaxies! They recognized no law but their own and that meant no law period! It was for lack of a better term a 'boom town' like they had on ancient Terra in the old American West! Poor Mr Solo was rubbing a growing red welt on the side of his face and glaring at Johnny balefully. If looks could kill JB would have been roshii (dead) and buried right then and there.

"Enough. Mr Solo, we are journeying to Reds's home world of Workoh in the Omega Quadrant of the Sagitarrian Galaxy. Once we arrive Miss de Roncesvalles has a riddle to solve and a clue to find for us. Any luck on that yet, my dear?" said the oily voiced cad we knew as Master.

"I think so. I will need Edna, Rio, Suzy, the Brig and an alchemist to continue once we arrive there, sir." replied Angie.

"Then we must make a small detour to Amestris." said Marlene Angel coolly.

"Agreed. Glork! Change course for Amestris at once. Where exactly on Amestris, Miss Angel?" asked the Master.

"Dublith. We'll need Izumi Curtis and she won't come without her hubby Sig. We should get the Elric brothers and Major General Armstrong as well. Alchemy is dangerous stuff to fool around with, sir." replied the Brigadier and he nodded.

"Glork! Make for Dublith in the Southwest. We'll stop there overnight. I believe we'll have to go to Risenbool afterwards to pick up the Elrics and that daffy granny and dipstick blonde mechanic of Edward's. We will take anyone who sees us as well. Johnny?" said the Master.

"You will accompany Miss Angel and the others. Natasha will assist you. I will remain aboard. I do not believe that time lords are very welcome in Risenbool." chuckled the Master.

"Maybe if you hadn't of shot Van Hohenheim (He was Ed and Al Elric's dad) in front of everyone in town they wouldn't all be so mad at you, Arch." giggled the Ranee. This woman drank like a fish and must have had a wooden leg to hold it! Suddenly I realized that I too was going to have to accompany them! I began to wish that I had become a librarian like Sheska Martin! Join the 3WA and see the Universes had been the come on and of course Daddy was one of the bosses.

Stupid me! I had thought that fact would have gotten me a nice soft cushy desk job in Furool (Foo-Lon) City's HQ building. All tro-cons, Daddy had said to me, start at the bottom of the pyramid and must work their way up the promotions ladder and that included me.

So here I was in the middle of Kami knew where (and when?) and stuck aboard a spacecraft commanded by a lunatic with a sadist for a lieutenat and a moron for his muscle man! Oh yeah and a giant doggie at the helm!

Why hadn't I gone to business college on Larajin Gingerbel like Mummy had wanted me to I wondered? Secretaries don't get shot at, beat up, stepped on and pushed around like rag dolls!

"Subaltern Jordan! Did you hear oro I said? Dammit! Get up and follow me, girl!" Natasha Ranee was shaking me by the shoulder and poking my back with a wicked looking automatic pistol. I mumbled something and got up. She shoved me into the hallway where Angie, Rio, Suzy, Mr Bluesummers and the Brig were already waiting.

"There's a speeder around the corner. March." snarled the witch and we marched. Of course I was in front and Miss Angel was in back so the Ranee could keep a wary eye on the blonde Jill of all trades. Rio and Mr B were in the well oro the ancient Terrans might have called a 'rumble seat' while Suzy and Angie sat just in front of them. I was jammed into the middle of the front seat between the Brig and Natasha who was driving us.

I mused on how big this thing was. Imagine! Having to get around your house by speeder, skysled and skycycle! Natasha told us all to strap in tight and did the honours for me before lifting off and up an airshaft that seemed endless and to have no visible ceiling at all!

We finally landed in the middle of a long corridor and we were told gruffly to get out. Natasha pointed some kind of remote control at a big portal and said 'Quoth the Raven, Nevermore' causing the portal to rise into the upper frame of the door jamb.

We were speedily pushed inside. Natasha activated a myriad of beam barriers before sealing the portal behind her.

"There are several bedrooms, a kitchenette, a sitting room and a study oh yeah and a few bathrooms. This will be home for you until we get to Amestris. The barriers are electrically charged and damned painful so I would not advise any of you blockheads to try to escape from here. The study contains everything you have been working on and should you need anything else there's a vidmike to call Glork. He will get oroever (whatever) you might need. There are replicators in all of the rooms. Welcome to Motel 6 my friends and yes we have left the lights on for you. Good night." chortled the Ranee and we were all alone and locked in for the duration.

"Stupid old cow! She forgot one thing I'll bet." snapped Rio DelCroix. She crossed to the wall, grabbed hold of the ventilator grate and was shot back into the room like she'd been fired from a cannon! She was still screaming while Suzy and I were bathing her burnt hands and fingers in cool water and Mr Legato was spraying 'Koolagon Mist' all over them.

Apparently Rio had forgotten that the last time we had been locked in somewhere the ventilators had been boob7y trapped! This time they weren't booby trapped but they had been electrified! When we'd finished bathing her hands and dressing the wounds, Mr Legato (Bluesummers) gently forced her tender hands into inflatable mittens to ease the pain. The 'KM' helped but it just wasn't meant for third degree burns! How I wished that Miss Donovan had been there. She was the closest thing we had to a doctor. Even back at the Academy she never went anywhere without her little black bag of medical goodies.

"I should have warned her dammit! Those burns look damned bad!" Mr Legato was berating himself and the Brig was trying to tell him that there was no way anyone could have known about the ventilator grates. He shook his head savagely.

"I'm a BetaZoid dammit, Blondie! I can read minds. I just didn't get a chance to warn her. It's all my fault!" he moaned until the blonde smacked him hard across the jaw a few times.

"Snap the Hell outta it, Legato! We've done all we can for her. We have got to keep cool heads dammit. Why the six of us have been separated from the rest is a puzzler. Any thoughts, Legato? I'm stumped." said the Brigadier.

"Just one. The Master thinks one of us might try to sabotage this side trip to Amestris. Oro has me worried is that Zoe Morton's staying with the Rockabelles in Risenbool. You heard oro he said, didn't ya? We are to grab whoever sees us and bring 'em with us to Workoh. If they won't come I have not the slightest doubt that Natasha will simply kill them. I suggest we just take it easy and stay put. If we did manage to escape I sure as Hell don't fancy wandering around a ship that exists in more than one dimension, do you?" said a worried and upset Bluesummers.

Meantime back in the large dining hall the calm atmosphere was about to be shattered!

CRASH! A tremendous thunderclap shook the TARDIS! The room filled with a greenish smoke that stunk to high heavens!

"Robin! Oro the jigoku have you done now? Where the oni are we anyhow? I smell roast beef! Are we in a restaurant?" said a disembodied male voice.

"Honestly Hari all I did was use a summoning spell not a traveling one this time! I dunno where the Dickens we are. I sense a witch though, maybe more than one, Hari!" replied a disembodied female voice.

"Glork! Activate the exhaust fans in the medium dining hall at once!" shouted our host angrily. A whirring was heard and suddenly we were staring at two weird-os if ever there were any!

A tall redhead (Ain't we got a lot of them suddenly? Oh and this part was told to me later 'cause of course I was still locked up with Mr Legato and the others. 'Nuff said OK?) and a dark haired boy who was pointing a wicked looking cannon at us!

The girl appeared to be unarmed except for some strange staff carved with oddball symbols. Miss O and Miss D had both drawn cannons but just as quickly had reholstered them.

"Well! Will ya lookit oro the neko dragged in! Howdy Robin, Haruko. Oro the devil are ya doin' here of all places?" chortled our own fearless leader and she pointed a gloved forefinger at the boy.

"Holster that thing or I'll take it away from ya. Siddown guys. Yuri, that rift must be back again dammit. Move over Mar and let Robbie sit down. Hey pirate! Take a load off already. All we need now are those other witch hunters we saw on vid telly last night on that old AD 2013 film- Hansel & Gretel! OK kids where do ya think ya are this time and oro's the year eh?" asked the Boss lady and she ignited another of her vile cheroots.

Robin Senna sat but refused to give up her staff. Haruko Sasaki likewise sat but reholstered his automatic. Both accepted the redhead's dinner invitation and were soon chowing down like they hadn't eaten since they left Japan in AD 1999 as they told us that was from where and whence they'd come.

Before Robin could explain any further another crash shook the room and out of the dark smoke strolled two more weird-os! These two were dressed entirely in black but Ninja they sure as Hell weren't! One had a huge Mark XXXV ion cannon on his shoulder and the other one sported some sort of beam weapon that resembled a plasma rifle!

"You rang? I swear I heard our names mentioned Hansy, didn't you? OK who's the witch here dammit?" said the girl whose hair was long, silky and raven black. The boy dropped his huge weapon to the floor with a thunderous crash scaring the Hell outta everyone.

"Yeah Grets, I heard our names too. So they finally made a flick about us huh? Took 'em long enough. Aha! A witch! I told ya I smelled one Grets! Get her!" yelled the boy and he dove for his weapon. Just a tad slow though because the Boss got there first and easily swept it from the floor with one hand! The Boss is as strong as Babe the Blue Ox ya know! Meanwhile Miss D easily karate chopped Grets's wrist and took the rifle weapon from her nerveless fingers.

"Tie them up, Natasha! All four of them dammit! Move!" yelled the Master and he was far from being a happy camper.

"Belay that! Dunno about the second two morons here but I can vouch for Robbie and Hari. We met once before and I advise you not to get her riled up if ya know oro's good for ya, Master." said the Boss whose right boot had shoved the Ranee back down into her seat and none too gently either!

"You heard that, brother? She called him Master! He must be a warlock!" howled the girl, pointing at the rogue time lord. Miss D took immediate action and fired her Mark III miniblaster into the ceiling!

"Hold your horses, Master! First off there are no witches or warlocks aboard this tub. Second just where and when did you two wander in from I wonder? OK where's home and oro was the year when you left it? I know it sounds baka stupid but just trust me. Humour us huh? By the way (She flashed her red/white/blue/green card) we are the law in this galaxy so behave yourselves, got that?" said the Grand Admiral very softly and both Hansel and Gretel (Of course this was the real brother and sister combo not the actors from the ancient film!) sat down quietly. Grets was still massaging her right hand.

Miss D got up and sprayed her wrist with Synthenol which is like alcohol but it's also a pain killer and a disinfectant as well as an antiseptic. Anyway the pain vanished and the girl once more had feeling in her fingers. She thanked her with a glance and the Duchess went back to her seat.

"Oro did you mean by that statement about not getting the redheaded kid riled up, Reds?" asked the Master and Robin got very red in the face as she recalled her and Hari's first meeting with the Boss lady. Miss O'Halloran chuckled and explained the circumstances surrounding their first encounter.

According to oro I already knew from our resident storyteller Miss Donovan a few years ago on Kagura the gang had been blowing off steam by playing golf and after the match football. In the middle of the game Robbie and Hari arrived in the midst of a fireball that scorched the whole field! The duo told them they hailed from Terran Japan, Tokyo, that is and they worked for STN-J a sorta witch hunting guild and the year was AD 1999 same as it was this time.

Hansel Schmidt explained that he and his sister Gretel were from the Schwartzwald the Black Forest of Terran Germany in the year AD 1805. When told the real year was AD 2255 and that they were on a time and space traveling machine in deep space nowhere remotely near Terra or Earth as they knew it both kids (Well they were like 22 or 23) burst out laughing. Robin and Hari of course had been through this routine before and had even ridden on a TARDIS before.

Oh yeah for full details of the Boss's first encounters with Robbie and Hari you'll have to look up STG's first fanficcy called 'Christmas with the Dirty Pair' from Chapter 40 on. Suddenly Hans and Grets realized that nobody else was laughing.

"Aw c'mon folks. Ya don't really expect us to believe all that bull, do ya?" giggled Grets and she accepted one of the Boss's vile smokes. Her brother, however, seemed strangely agitated.

"Grets, I think this is on the level, Honey. Sir, we apologize for interrupting your dinner party and now we'd like to leave. With your permission of course and the ladies' OK." said Hansel, dropping to one knee and removing his cap. This amused the Master and the Ranee to no end. Natasha shoved off the Boss's boot and stood up, wine glass in hand.

"A toast to our new found friends. Here is to witch hunters everywhere. No witches nor warlocks here, kiddies." giggled the time lady who was already more than three sheets to the wind as Uncle Jon (Harlock) would have said.

"Glork! Give us an exterior vidscreen in here and illuminate the outside of the TARDIS for us. We must prove to our guests that we are not telling a taradiddle to them." said an amused time lord.

Everyone stared at the far wall and was astounded to see a window and beyond it deep dark space with Shimougou twinkling away a very long way off! The Master explained that Terra was several hundreds of thousands of lightyears from us and was therefore not visible from this far out. Robin yawned and Hari helped himself to his third piece of Key lime pie. Hansy stared in open mouthed shock while Grets began to sob.

"We'll never get back home, brother! I told you he was a warlock, this Master of theirs! I'll fix him!" screamed the girl and launched herself at the Master, yanking a dagger from her belt. Han Solo deftly twisted the blade from her grasp and pinioned her hands behind her back in a hammerlock grip.

Yuri put her hand on brother Hansy's arm and let him see her own Mark III under her stole. She shook her head and he slumped back in his chair. Robbie stood and struck the floor with her staff at the same time intoning some strange words in a language nobody had ever before heard! Flames leaped from the floor to the ceiling and she pointed a finger at the Master.

"I command ye to return to the Hell from whence ye sprang, demon!" cried the redheaded 15 year old girl and the Master grinned.

"Chaldean? I have not heard that language in more than five thousand years, my child. I am no demon nor am I a warlock. I can, however, manipulate time as I wish. I am a time lord from Gallifrey and she (He indicated the Ranee who had passed out on the floor) is a time lady. We are seeking a fabulous treasure and like it or not you four brats are coming along for the ride. I assure you that I did not have anything to do with your presences here. Nor did anyone else aboard my TARDIS and you have my word on that. This fine lady (He indicated the Boss lady) will vouch for me.

"I am a man of my word and she knows this. Sit and eat with us and so long as you agree not to try and escape which is impossible and give me your words that you will not wander all over my ship I will allow you certain leniencies and let you have the use of certain parts of my TARDIS. Your weapons you may keep since they will not work aboard this vessel. Miss Senna, however, will surrender her staff to me now or Mr Berringer will be forced to shoot Mr Sasaki." explained our genial host. Robin glanced across the table and saw that Johnny had disarmed Hari and had a disruptor pistol clapped against his right temple!

Without a word she laid down her staff before the Master. At a sign from his leader, Johnny released Hari and reholstered his cannon. Robbie ran around the table and hugged Hari, tears streaming down both cheeks. Miss Donovan smiled because she knew as I learned later that Robbie's staff was far from being her only source of power. Hari's weapon was returned to him by Johnny.

"Nothing personal, young sir. Just business is all." he said quietly and both witch hunters looked daggers at him as did brother and sister. Han had released Grets and she'd sat down beside me again. Yuri sprayed more Synthenol on her sore hands and wrists and soon she was OK again.

"Now perhaps we can get down to business, ladies and gentlemen." said the suddenly genial Master.

"Yes that sounds like a very sensible suggestion, my dear sir." replied a quiet female voice from the shadows behind the Ranee and the Master looked as though he had been struck by one of Zeus's thunderbolts!

Mr Legato and Miss Angel stepped out of the shadows behind Natasha's chair. The Brig covered the Master while Mr B clapped a pistol to the Ranee's temple and adroitly disarmed her. Rio and Suzy were covering Johnny Berringer while Suzy and I (Yup it's Edna and I'm back again amongst the throng) blocked the far door and the one closer to the Master. Suddenly light dawned on the wily time lord and he chuckled.

"My bad is the way the young people used to say it I believe but it means the same thing. It means it is my fault you were able to escape. I thoughtfully provided all of you with replicators so you simply repped up weapons and oroever else you needed. However, how you managed to escape from a suite guarded by eight intense beam barriers while all of the openings you might possibly use were either booby trapped or in the case of the ventilators charged with electricity is beyond me. Ah, I see that young Miss DelCroix did try to escape via the ventilating system. Natasha is a very good doctor and she will treat those nasty burns, my dear child. For the moment you seem to have the upper hand yet none of you have grasped the obvious." he laughed.

"That being, sir?" asked the blonde Brigadier, her hand never wavering by so much as a millinetre.

"That being, Miss Angel that none of you know where my bridges are nor how to control my TARDIS so oro have you gained?" said the Master quietly.

"Yes Glork, I hear you." said Natasha suddenly. She nodded her head a few times and turned to face us again.

"We have arrived at Amestris. Glork has landed us in front of the Rockabelle place in Risenbool and disguised us to resemble a tool shed from the outside. It looks as though we are not in the catbird seat any longer, are we?" explained the time lady.

"Mr Solo? Are you there?" replied the Master and I felt a blaster stuck between my kidneys! Looking around I saw that Johnny's goons had disarmed Rio, Suzy, Mr Legato and Angie. Dash Rendar an old smuggling buddy of Han Solo's quickly and quietly plucked Miss Angel's weapon from her fist.

"I apologize to all of you for this as does Dash. As long as the time lord and lady and Johnny's gang hold Lahna, Lance and Leia hostage I'm helpless. Master, this is all being done under protest and Kami help your sorry asses when they ain't!" growled the former rebel leader. His eyes were hard as Kelvinite!

"As you say, sir. For now we going to visit Granny and Miss Winry. Glork! I assume you have a good reason for disobeying my orders and not going to Dublith? Ah yes of course. That makes perfect sense. Carry on. I will meet you in the transport room." said the Master.

"Miss Izumi and Mr Sig are here as are Miss Zoe Morton, the Elric brats, Major General Armstrong, Mr and Mrs Block and Rocky the Rockabelles' infernal neko (cat). (The Master was allergic to kitties it seems) Therefore Glork landed here rather than wasting another hour's travel to Dublith. Miss Morton will of course accompany us as will anyone else who learns of our presence on the planet. Mr Solo, Mr Bluesummers, Miss DelCroix, Miss Jordan, Miss de Roncesvalles, Miss Angel, Miss Quinn, Natasha, Mr Berringer and his associates and Mr Rendar will be the away team. The rest will remain here as hostages and should any of you try any funny business I will execute them one at a time beginning with the kawaii Miss Duke. Oh and be certain to procure any chemicals and equipment necessary for oroever they will need them for on Workoh. John, Natasha? Take them to the transport room. I will remain with our guests." said the Master.

I was definitely scared shitless and so were the rest of the away team although most of 'em would never admit it!

We were all whisked to the room I hated on this tub and next thing we knew we were on terra firma to give it the name Moonie did. Wonder if she ever got back home? I found out later that the sailor scouts made it home only to be jettisoned back to our time and were currently being cared for by Madam Beryl who was running a day care centre in Kalodon Kordon Town. That was a small village about thirty kilometres from our HQ in FC.

"I think that I oughta be the first one to go in guys since it won't do to frighten Granny and Winry, OK?" drawled the kind-hearted Mr Solo and of course nobody objected. The rest of us waited out on the small veranda for him to break the ice. He rapped on the door and receiving no reply simply opened it and strolled inside. A few minutes passed. Then he came back out followed by Granny Rockabelle who was cuddling Rocky their neko. A tall blonde in white coveralls followed her and by her side was a black inu which BION had an automail leg!

"C'mon in and set a spell. Tell us all about the world outside of Amestris, folks. Miss Izumi and the boys are out berry pickin' but they'll be back directly I reckon. Mr Alex! We done got guests so set some extry plates out fer lunch. Better get out our big table too! Looks like about twenty of 'em. Well we don't stands on ceremony round here ya knows. Let's git a move on." said Gran and we followed them back into the big farmhouse.

Angie quickly explained why we were here and whom we would be taking along with us. Granny blew out some smoke rings and replaced her briar pipe in her mouth. Winry was checking an old date book calendar and she was frowning.

"Nope. Sorry, can't do it. Too many automail jobs for us to go joyriding right now. Maybe next month-" The blonde was chattering away like crazy until she saw Johnny, Natasha and Johnny's goons with plasma rifles pointed at her and Gran!

"Perhaps Miss de Roncesvalles did not make things quite clear to you folks so allow me. You are ALL coming along with us whether your schedule permits or not. The lives of several of your friends depend upon it. Now gather up oro the Hell you'll need in the way of chemicals, alchemy books and equipment and pack a bag or two if you like. You have a half hour. McMurdo, take Flynn and O'Hara with you and find the Elrics and Izumi Curtis. Gilhooley, go find Miss Zoe Morton and bring her here. That goes for anyone with her. Put the chair down, Miss Quinn. Lunch was about to be served I believe? Ah Mr Armstrong, please have the kindness to sit down beside Miss DelCroix. Mrs Rockabelle? Please serve lunch. Why don't you ladies assist her. Don't forget though that the safety of the others is in your hands. Move it." said Mr Berringer and we knew he wanted no arguments.

"Gran? We got three big buckets full of blackberries and brother picked some peaches for us. Teacher has a big basket of apples." said a huge suit of knightly armour which blazed like fire in the afternoon sunlight. I sometimes wondered oro Alphonse Elric had appeared before the er accident. Mr Legato hurried across the room and grabbed a bucket of berries from his gauntleted hand.

"Here Al, let me help you. (Mr Bluesummers dropped his voice to a whisper) Play along Al. The Boss lady and the rest of our crew are hostages of the Master, remember him? (Al nodded) We're here to collect you, Ed, Gran, Winry, Miss Izumi and her hubby and quite a few others including Zoe. Are Denny and Maria Block here?" Legato spoke urgently and Al grabbed his arm.

"Let's put these in cold water, Mr Blue." said Al and he shoved Legato out the door.

"Mr and Mrs Block are with Mr Sig in town at their bakery." said the big knight.

"Good! The chief'll be glad to hear that. That'll save us havin' to go gallivantin' all across creation after 'em." said a really big dude. Mr Fitzroy was a genial Gael Irishman but as deadly as they came. He was one of Johnny's lieutenants.

"Chief, the Blocks and Siggy Curtis are at the Block's bakery in town." he yelled and Johnny sent three of his men after them.

"Hey! What's for lunch? I'm starvin' to death!" said a rather short blonde-headed guy with a matching pencil moustache. He was toting a big bushel basket of peaches and the aroma from them was heavenly.

He set down his basket and looked straight into Johnny's eyes. Then he spotted Han who warned him with a glance and a head shake not to try anything cute with these guys.

We all sat down after we had helped Granny to bring out lunch and serve it. I must admit it sure beat repped food and was a lot better than Miss Donovan's pizzas. The rest were all looking for a chance to save the day but that chance never came. Mr Flynn, Mr O'Hara and Mr McMurdo entered the room and the latter had a rolled up carpet over his shoulder.

"Any trouble, Mac?" asked Gilhooley who was holding fast to Zoe Morton, the Plutonian navvie.

"Not after we hogtied the lady and gagged her we didn't, Gil." chuckled Flynn.

"Want us to haul her out to the TARDIS, John?" asked O'Hara.

"Belay that for now. Unwrap our prezzie and let's see how cooperative she can be, boys." ordered Johnny and they did so.

"Mrs Curtis? I apologize for my ruffian subordinates. I need you to sit down and have some lunch. Then I want you to gather whatever you might need in way of chemicals, books, equipment and the like, pack a bag or two and be ready to leave in an hour. The same goes for the rest of you. Ah Mr Block and Miss Ross, pardon me! I meant Mrs Block. Congratulations on your nuptials. Where's Sig? What! I trust you two didn't injure him too badly? My apologies, Mrs Curtis for Mr Swenson and Mr Shade. Now let's have lunch. It is 1400 hours, I mean 2 o'clock. At 1500 or 3 o'clock we'll be leaving for Workoh. Those dumplings look delicious, Mrs Rockabelle." said Johnny Berringer and at last we were resigned to our fate.

Poor Mr Curtis was out cold so Mr Swenson carried him out to the TARDIS and handed him over to the Master. Natasha complimented Granny on her cooking who beamed like she always did when folks praised her vittles. Rio and Suzy actually asked for doggie bags! Johnny ordered that all of the leftovers be wrapped up and transported back to the Type 40 machine for us so I suppose he isn't all that much of a villain huh? After lunch Angie, Mr Armstrong, the Elrics, Izumi, Blue and the Brig all sat down at a big table upstairs in Winry's work room and discussed details on oro all they would need to drag along with them on this 'lame-brained scheme' as it was dubbed by Izumi Curtis when it had all been explained to her. Wonder oro she'd do to Mr Swenson and Mr Shade when she saw oro they'd done to her hubby?

I cannot tell you anything about oro all they packed up to take for the trip because I was sent to the kitchen to help Granny and Winry with the washing up and then we had to pack up the apples, peaches and berries in cardboard boxes. They would all be brought along because Granny did not want them to spoil in the warm weather and Johnny had put the kibosh on allowing anyone down into the root cellar beneath the house. A nice guy but not a very trusting soul. Ed said he reminded him of a guy he called Greed. At 1500 hours Zoe and Rio lugged out armloads of star charts and old maps to the wood shed or rather the TARDIS.

It took almost two full hours to load up all the junk the achemists claimed were necessary for the mission and it took the rest of those two hours to load up all of Granny's goodies and other supplies she just would not travel without having them with us.

Finally Johnny and his boys herded us like cattle out to the old wood shed and through it into the TARDIS. The alchemists were brought back with us to the same dining hall we had left. Everyone else was turned over to Natasha who assigned them sleeping quarters. Granny insisted on being taken to the kitchen so reluctantly the Ranee allowed this. Then Winry howled about missing Granny so much that she too was allowed into the kitchen. Winry tried to insist that Suzy, Rio, Angie and I were needed as well but Natasha was firm. The Master needed us close to hand so we were escorted back to our prison suite. Mr Legato was transferred to another room called the 'zero room' where his alchemical and telepathic powers would not function.

The Master wasted no time in ordering Glork to lift off and resume his previous course to Workoh. We ate a solemn dinner with our new compadres and were then returned to our suite. All of our new friends with certain exceptions were billeted with Mr Blue in that infernal 'zero room' and those that weren't were given suites next to ours. The Curtises and the Blocks got suites all to themselves but the Elrics were stuck in with the other alchemists. Then the next thing we knew Mr Sig had a suite to himself. The Ranee remembered that Izumi was an alchemist and put her in the 'zero room' with the other alchemists. I guess the time lord and time lady didn't realize that Zoe too was an alchemist and a BetaZoid because she was stuck in here with us.

The next week was damned boring! We were assigned an adjoining dining hall so there were no more family dinners. Where the Boss lady and the Dukes and the others were staying I had no idea nor did the Brig. We did have fun listening to Mr Sig, Mr Denny and Mrs Maria tell us tales of their days in the military on Amestris. Rio and Suzy told some tales out of school about some pranks they had played at the Academy while the rest of us tried to keep up the lively banter as best we could.

From time to time Angie and Zoe were taken out of the suite and conducted somewhere by Glork who didn't seem as fierce as he used to be for some reason. Soon we found that with a little effort we could understand his thoughts and he could understand ours. Guess he was like a Mugghi huh? At long last the final day was here. Natasha told us that in the morning we would be making planetfall and that our host would expect some fast results from us. We also found out that only Angie, Rio, Suzy, Zoe and I would be setting foot on the Boss lady's home world. Of course Johnny, Natasha and their goons would be chaperoning us!

The next morning we were all dragged out to the moving room as Rio had dubbed the transporter room and whisked down to Workoh. Morning, did I say morning? It looked like it was the middle of the frigging night! Angie explained that in the Sagitarrian Galaxy the mornings and the nights were the same because there were no suns, only moons and planets and asteroids! Some dump huh? No wonder the Boss lady didn't wanna come back here. Out of the shadows ran four weird looking things and they ran straight up to us!

"Hands up folks. You are all under arrest! Hey! Jett, Faye! We hit the mother load! Berringer and his goons! That one looks like that rogue time lady that Gallifrey wants back real bad! All in all the total bounty on these freaks should be close to seven billion woolongs! That's around 25 million credits Universal, ladies and gents. Ed, Faye! Cuff 'em. Jett, you and I had better handle Johnny. Hey! I recognize a few of the others here.

"Lt Colonel Angel, Sub-Ensign DelCroix, Ensign Jordan, Lt Quinn, Lt de Roncesvalles. So the 3WA's here huh? Wonder where the Dirty Pair are? I don't see any of the 'Lovely Angels' around, do you Jett? OK, we'll sort this out later. We'll take 'em back to the Bebop. March." said the guy who seemed to be in charge and whose voice was strangely familiar too. Since all four of 'em were wearing hardsuits and had their blast shields lowered their faces were not visible.

The Brig tossed down her Mark XII and at a nod from her we ditched our weapons as well and raised our hands. The 'little walk' turned out to be three kilometres at least! At the last minute before we deplaned, Mr Blue, Zoe, Izumi, some lady from Starfleet named Deanna Troi and the Elric boys with Mr Armstrong had been added to our away team. They were all mad as Hell same as us but quickly complied when our genial host fired at the 'Strong Arm' alchemist!

"Where the Hell's their ship, Spike?" demanded the figure he'd called Faye. She had cuffed and gagged Natasha Ranee and was booting her in the ass to get her moving.

"If she's a time lady, her TARDIS could be anything out there, Faye. OK, here's the Bebop. Welcome aboard. You'll be staying with us awhile." said the big guy Jett.

"The Hell we are!" howled the 'Fullmetal' alchemist Ed Elric and he swung hard at Spike. Then he smashed his automail hand down on the surface we'd been walking across and- nothing happened! Apparently alchemy did not work here.

"C'mon brother. Don't make a scene. We have no choice except to do as we're told." said Alphonse the metal giant and Ed reluctantly followed us inside the Bebop. The bounty 'heads' were immediately locked up in the foreward hold below. The alchemists and the rest of us were herded into the ship's parlour and told to find seats which was pretty darn hard in a room with one or two sofas and no chairs!

"Damn! It feels good to get that monkey suit off!" said a short pert brunette in a scarlet pantsuit. She was followed by a tow-headed redhead kid. Behind them came a mountain of a man with a metal arm and bringing up the rear was a tall lanky guy with frizzy green hair. We stared and then most of us (Not me, I didn't get the joke) grinned and chuckled.

"I thought it was you Spike Steigel. Fancy meeting you, Jett Black, Ed and Faye Valentine on Workoh of all places! A bit off the beaten track, aren't you? Oh and I'm a brigadier now, not a Lt Colonel." said Marlene Angel from her seat on the floor. She offered Spike a cheroot who accepted it and lit hers for her first. Then it finally hit me! These were the Bebop 'cowboys' or in plainer words bounty hunters.

"Jett steered us off course and we went through a wormhole and ended up here. Workoh huh? The Boss's home world? Then we must be in the Omega Quadrant. Sagitarrian Galaxy, right? (Mar nodded) Will wonders never cease. We take a wrong turn and bag a passel of the most wanted criminals in the cosmos. The only one missing is that rogue time lord, the Master." said Spike.

"I wasn't drivin', Spike. You were." yelled Jett angrily.

"Faye was navigating so it ain't my fault." replied the tall cowboy.

"So it's my damned fault? Ed gave me the coordiantes, didn't she?" yelled Faye and Ed looked up from her corner where she was playing on her computer 'Tomato' and cuddling her data doggie Ein in her arms. She usually used poor Ein for a pillow!

"To get back to your earlier statement, Spike- the Master's aboard his TARDIS and that's how we got here. Even without John and his cronies, he's still dangerous and Kami knows who else he's got aboard that thing. Han's here too but the Master kept him aboard. He's got a bunch of space truckers and some poor folks from Terra too as hostages to make damned sure we do oro we came here to do so I'm going to have to ask you to release us to do it. That's why we have all the alchemists with us." said Mar.

"Oro's he after, Blondie?" asked a curious Jett.

"Would you believe the Library of Alexander the Great from ancient Terra?" replied Angie and she tossed him the star chart with the runes she'd been deciphering. Spike tossed it back to her.

"So? It's on Terra or it was before some hot shot Egyptian Pharaohess destroyed it. Why look way out here for it?" asked Faye.

"Seems that Alex boy made a pact with Angie's great grand somebody or other to teach him how to travel in space and time. Then they agreed to hide the library's contents somewhere in deep space like they did with their own loot that we found five years ago. Trouble was they never told him where it was. They left these (She held up the scrolls) but no other clues. How the Master heard they were around somewhere is anybody's guess but he sent poor Mr Solo on a quest to find 'em for him. Then he kidnapped us and the alchemists and we are supposed to follow the trail and find it for him. Nai, Han didn't do it willingly. The Master's holding his family hostage. He's married you know and he's got 4 year old twins- Lahna and Lance. So we got to find the next clue or it's curtains for everybody." explained the last of the Knights Templar.

"How can we help?" asked Jett Black.

"Seen any trees around these parts?" I blurted out and they all looked at me like I had lobsters crawling outta my ears!

EMD of Chapter 9. Chapter 10 'Geometry vs Alchemy' or 'Cowboys On the Hunt' coming soon.


	10. Ch10'GeometryvsAlchemy'CowboysOntheHun

TRUCKS IN SPACE

Chapter 10 'Geometry vs Alchemy' or 'Cowboys On the Hunt'

DISCLAIMER: We wanna thank Mr Takachiho for the use of his Angelic creations and all the other folks who are kind enough to allow us to use their creations. Any of our own stuff well anyone is welcome to use them so long as we get credit for them. OK Edna honey suppose you set the stage for everyone since you, Rio, Angie, Mar and Kome are the major characters after myself and the redheaded nightmare.

OK when last we left ya up in the air I had just asked Mr Black if he, Mr Steigel, Miss Valentine and Miss Appledore (Ed) had seen any trees during their sojourn on Workoh and they all thought I'd escaped from Rygelius IX (a lunatic asylum colony)!

To explain it we gotta back track a bit but nai not just yet.

At last light came through to dear old Angie and she snapped her fingers sharply.

"Of course! It's that damned runic inscription we deciphered! (Actually Angie had done all the deciphering. All I'd done was lend her some moral support but oro the jigoku- if she wanted to give me credit too, I'd take it!) It didn't make a bloody bit of sense to me until Edie (Me) asked me oro the oni (devil) 'alkadrads' and 'zyblagorans' were. Then it all fell into place. Edie even likened the doggerel verses to an ancient Terran mystery tale by Mr Doyle in the late 19th Century- 'The Musgrave Ritual' only this 'ritual' had been written by my own ancestour and leader of the Knights Templar Sir Giles de Montmartre. I should the blasted thingy in my backpack or did I give it to you, Edie? (I checked my pockets and satchel and came up trumps) Darn! It's not here! I must have left it on the TARDIS or back at the Rockabelle place." said Angie.

"I sure as Hell hope ya didn't, Redsy! I don't wanna go all the way back home and then waste another week coming back here!" grumbled the 'fullmetal' alchemist, Edward Elric.

"Now brother, I'm sure we didn't leave nothin' behind at Granny's house." Alphonse tried to reassure his elder brother.

"Anything, Alphonse. Not nothing." corrected Izumi Curtis.

"Yes, Teacher." agreed a chastised knight in armour. Suddenly Rio dumped her rucksack all over the floor causing junk to roll all over the deck!

"Yo! I just polished that floor, Missy! Clean up that mess dammit!" howled Faye Valentine angrily but Rio DelCroix paid her not the slightest bit of attention. Instead she pawed through the junk pile until she said 'Aha!' and held up an old dusty scroll.

"Could this be oro you're talkin' about, Angie? I almost used it to wrap up the garbage back in Risenbool." said Rio and Angie snatched it away from her greedily.

"You're welcome, Lt I'm sure!" added Rio icily.

"Sorry Rio, but this is it! You almost used it to wrap up the garbage? If you'd done that, we'd all be picking through the Risenbool City dump! Thanks a lot." replied Angie and a miffed Rio sat down on the floor and began sorting out her goodies. Mar and I helped her gather them up while Angie spread out the map on the java table and achored it with discarded ramen cups and pistol clips.

"Yeah, here it is, Edie! Let me see.' said Angie. It ran thus:

'Where was the first sun? Over the alkadrad. Where was the third moon? Under the zyblagoran. How was it stepped? North 5 by 5. East 4 by 4. West 3 by 3. South 2 by 2. Up 1 by 1 and so under. Whom shall seek it? She who will come. How shall we know her? By the blaze of her mane. Whom shall she be? The last of the last and 12 generations old. Will she find it? Yea she shall. Why should we allow her? For the sake of the trust. Will she be warned? Yea she must. What be the warning? That time must never have it for it shall lead to chaos brought by the four of the horse. Time shall come with her twice but a sacrifice there must be.- Giles de Montmartre.'

"Part of it's pretty straightforwards. The first two are geometrical coordinates. Then it becomes a pirate's treasure map until we get to 'Up 1 by 1 and so under' which is pure Greek to me, kids." admitted the Brigadier sadly.

"Not really, Blondie. When ya get to the 'South 2 by 2' point, ya measure up 1 and then over 1 where you'll find a latch or something to open a tunnel entrance. Too bad we dunno which way we go after up- right or left. But oroever's at the end of that tunnel is your clue #2 for sure." advised Faye flicking ashes onto Rio's head accidentally of course.

"Where'd you get so smart, Faye? Aw, I guess ya had to after being around for so long huh?" said Spike just before Faye stomped on his foot with her spiked stiletto heel causing the poor man to yelp in pain. I found out that Miss V had been suspended animation for close to a century and had only been awakened a decade or so ago.

Notwithstanding any of that the fact remained that she was undoubtedly right although Mr Blue pointed out that it could just be a 'hidey hole' location and not a tunnel entrance. But all this still hinged on us finding an 'alkadrad' and a 'zyblagoran' tree!

"Mr Black? You never answered my question, sir. Have you seen any trees around here?" I asked boldly and he frowned which meant he was concentrating and thinking according to Spike anyway.

He finally shook his head nai while Spike shrugged his shoulders. Faye said 'nada' and Ed admitted she'd not seen any vegetation on the planet which was smaller than Gysymeo! Then Rio got a scathingly brilliant idea like that daffy blonde in the ancient Terran comedy flicks.

"We got reppers, right? Why don't we just rep up and alky seltzer tree and a zylibrarian tree?" she asked innocently.

"And where do we put 'em after we rep 'em up, genius?" demanded Ed Elric sarcastically. That nipped her idea in the bud.

"Climb that hill behind the Bebop in twelve hours and face West. You'll have to be quick because the sun and third moon will only be visible for a few moments." said a voice in our heads well mine, Rio's, Mar's and Angie's. Suzy's too probably but she was asleep again as usual.

We knew it had been the Boss lady comm relaying us using her mind. Just because she wasn't with us didn't mean she couldn't help us which was great for us because Mr Black said that the outside temperature was dropping below Kelvin freezing point which is like minus 80 F! Celsius or Centigrade? Ask Mar or Angie. They're our brains trust team, not me, Rio and Suzy.

"In 12 hours we will see them. For now let's get some sleep. That's an order." said Marlene Angel and she propped her head on her backpack and went to sleep.

"Is Reds still doing that mind meld thing?" asked Spike and I nodded and yawned. Soon all of us had gone to sleep except Spike who drew first watch. Mr Blue drew first watch over the prisoners in the hold. I wondered oro the morrow would bring. I hadn't long to wait, however, because in the Sag Gal an hour was only 10 minutes long so 12 hours here were a mere 2 hours solar! I found that fact out the hard way when Miss Izumi booted me in the derriere and said 'Get up, sleepyhead! It's time.'

Angie frowned and then asked Mr Black which was the rear of his ship. Both he and Spike scratched their heads while Faye pointed due North. Then Ed fired up Tomato and pointed out the only hill for kilometres around. We all felt like asses. Our whole group of alchemists, hangers-on like me and Rio and the cowboys and cowgirls trudged up the steep hillside and reached the top in the nick of time.

The sun bounced from the ground to the sky followed by a pale moon close beside it. Each illuminated a thing that might have been a tree if trees here looked like pole vaulting poles and jousting lances! Angie used her lensatic compass to face West and then activated the geometrical scale and slide ruler on her PDO and swiftly jogged over to point where both shadows converged.

She extracted a short jointed pole from her backpack and using her Mark XII like a hammer drove it into the ground. A nanosecond later and all was dark as pitch again. Both sun and moon had mysteriously vanished! Next she paced it off per the ancient directions and after she'd gone 5 x 5, 4 x 4, 3 x 3 an she was leaning aginst an ancient stone wall which seemed to stretch right and left forever and whose top was lost to our view in the misty darkness.

"Up 1 and by 1." she said and used her PDO metric measure pole to count off one metre which in Universal measurement used to be a bit over a yard at 39.37 inches. At this block's exact centre which was precisely one metre up the wall from its base Angie placed a mark using a piece of chalk from her wondrous backpack. She turned to the rest of us and frowned.

"Which way do I measure? Right or Left?" she asked and finally Mr Blue came to her rescue.

"Don't you see it, Blondie? These blocks are two metres across and your mark is dead centre bull. Therefore it is exactly one metre to the right and the same distance to the left. Great grand whatever father Giles wants us to remove the entire block of oro is this stuff anyway?" asked a puzzled BetaZoid from Gunsmoke.

"Adamite." said Miss Izumi who was feeling all around the smooth edges of the block. She kicked at the wall twice before giving up.

"Ladies and gents, adamite is also called diamond. Although far from being as hard as Kelvinite it is still dense enough to resist tools so I guess we'll just have to blow it open." she said and I must say I looked shocked.

"I'll blow it with alchemy, Edna. Don't worry." she added and then began mixing up all kinds of crap from her boxes, cases and sacks.

Mr Black strolled over and nonchalantly leaned against the wall, his big hand resting on the block until his hand passed right through the wall! He stumbled but did not fall and suddenly Angie remembered the rest of the verse. Truly we had forgotten about the 'and so under' part.

"Mr Black, onegai reach down as far as you can. Is anything there, sir?" she asked anxiously.

"Yup. It feels like metal. I got it, lil lady. Here ya go." he replied and handed Angie a curious looking artifact carved in curlicues and having a curved half moon edge to it. She stared at it in awe. I thought the darn thing looked like a piece of a jigsaw puzzle and said so. Rio says I've got a big mouth and I tell her she's got a bigger one and a big nose to match!

"You're right, Edie! This is just one piece of the puzzle and from this cuved side there must be two more pieces. Let's get back to the Master with it. Wait! Spread out the star charts for this quadrant." she said and we did so.

"If I'm right, this will point the way. Yeah baby. This end is like a spear and the whole thing fits in here nicely." said the last of the last 12 generations old eagerly. Now I saw as did the rest of us. The artifact was fitting perfectly over the Easternmost side of the Omega Quad and part of it was broken off like a jagged javelin. That javelin pointed NNE directly at a small moon- Deverios!

A problem presented itself. The cowboys had captured Johnny and his goons and Natasha Ranee fair and square and they were all for hightailing it back to Mars and the ISSP to collect their bounties. However, the Master had been adamant that should we fail to return with our entire party still intact he would regrettably be forced to kill anyone he no longer had a use for beginning with the very kawaii Miss Daisy Duke!

"Unh unh, Contessa! Bounty IS Bounty! We bagged all of 'em fair and sqaure and we're gonna keep 'em- all of 'em dammit!" yelled Spike angrily. Faye agreed and Mr Black apologized but said that business was business and bounty was bounty so his hands were tied. Edward Appledore as usual came up with the solution to our dilemma.

"Let's ride back on the thing that's bigger inside than it is outside! Ed wants a ride! Ed wants a ride now!" she howled and began punching poor Ein in the head. Faye rescued the pooch and agreed that Ed was right. Finally it was agreed that Johnny and his baboons were to remain as is aboard the Bebop which must be beamed aboard the TARDIS with all of us. Guess who was elected spokesperson to go ahead and break the news to the Master? Yours truly!

Of course I went bearing a gift. The new clue jigsaw puzzle piece. I was quaking in my boots but he took it a lot better than I had thought he would. He agreed immediately as soon as his greedy eyes fell on the second clue! He even told me to tell the gang that after he got his goodies the cowboys could even have Natasha! Talk about thieves falling out huh? I didn't trust this guy as far as I could pitch him but the Boss lady had said that like all time lords he always kept his word and I had to be content with that.

I turned to go back and deliver my good news when he stopped me. I looked a question and he motioned me to sit which I did.

"You will find the Bebop one level down. Go out that door, turn right and follow the gantryway stairwell down. Everyone is already aboard the TARDIS, my dear. I always keep my word and you can take that to the bank, Miss Jordan." he chuckled.

"Arigatou, my dear sir, a lot. Bye." I said and waved to him as I jogged out the door and down the stairs where as promised the Bebop was berthed with all hands aboard still intact. We found out soon enough that although the deal had been for Spike and company to keep all their bounty heads Johnny, Mr Fitzroy and Natasha Ranee were needed until the end of the quest. Mr Black graciously accepted this arrangement. Spike and Faye didn't but had no choice so they released the trio. Ed was happy as a clam in tomato sauce so long as nobody bothered her, Ein or Tomato.

When told of the clue's meaning, the Master lost no time in ordering Glork to head for Deverios which was about eleven thousand lightyears away. Natasha assured us we'd be there in two solar weeks! Our 3WA ships are fast dammit but not anywhere near as fast as these TARDISes!

As a reward for being such good little boys and girls we were all assigned new sleeping quarters. The alchemists were released from the zero rooms as was Mr Bluesummers. Although the restrictions were relaxed they were not entirely lifted. We had six levels we could wander around on to our hearts' content but the engine rooms, the power rooms and the bridges were all verboten (forbidden) to us. Still ya can't really argue when your prison is the size of a small office building, can ya?

All of us were allowed to see each other so we were soon reunited with Miss O'Halloran and Miss Donovan, Mr Destiny, the Dukes, Boss Hogg, the sheriff and his deputy and the rest of the hapless space truckers all of whom we had Mr Master's word would be released unharmed as soon as he had his precious library of ancient junk.

Try as we might, we just could not figure out the rest of that idiotic baka nursery rhyme! A few days before we were due to make planetfall at Deverios I re-read the translation of the inscription as far as we had deciphered it. Angie and the alchemists were trying to concoct a reagent that would bring up the remaining lines and I was left by myself because Suzy slept nonstop and Rio had discovered the Master's wardrobes for young ladies! She reminded me of those stories told to us by Miss Donovan about Clover the WOOPS spy girl. The portion of it that stumped us was:

'Whom shall seek it? She who will come. How shall we know her? By the blaze of her mane. Whom shall she be? The last of the last and 12 generations old. Will she find it? Yea she shall. Why should we allow her? For the sake of the trust. Will she be warned? Yea she must. What be the warning? That time must never have it for it shall lead to chaos brought by the four of the horse. Time shall come with her twice but a sacrifice there must be.- Giles de Montmartre.'

An hour later I cracked it or most of it anyhow. I saw the pattern at last. She who will come meant a long time later like now. By the blaze of her mane meant red hair. Last of the last and 12 generations old had to be Angie, right? The last of the Templars and they began on Terra in the 8th, 9th or 10th Century so add 12 generations to that and you get now- the 23rd Century. I was excited. It was coming faster now. For the sake of the trust must mean the pact between Alexander the Great and this Giles de Montmartre and his Knight guys. Warned? Warning? The rest made no sense at all but the last line was ominous in that it mentioned a sacrifice and according to all the ancient Terran literature I'd read Terrans almost always sacrificed people! All of a sudden I was very very frightened and I began screaming at the top of my lungs!

END of Chapter 10. Chapter 11 'Javelin Hunt' or 'The Riddle of Doom' coming soon so stay tuned ladies & gents. Sorry for monopolizing the story but hey! Didn't old Dr Watson do the same thing when he was supposed to be yakkin' about Mr Holmes? I can just imagine the scolding I'm gonna get for behaving like a hysterical child but man I was really scared crapless that day!


	11. Ch11 'Javelin Hunt'The Riddle of Doom'

TRUCKS IN SPACE

Chapter 11 'Javelin Hunt' or 'The Riddle of Doom'

DISCLAIMER: We wanna thank Mr Takachiho for the use of his Angelic creations and all the other nice folks who are kind enough to allow us to use their creations. Any of our own stuff well anyone is welcome to use them so long as we get credit for them.

"Oro in the Sam Hell are you screaming about, Miss Jordan?" demanded Boss Jefferson Davis Hogg, Esquire from Hazzard County, Georgia circa 21st Century in the USA on Terra. He'd drawn a huge six shooter pistol and he was flanked on either side by Bo and Luke Duke each of whom had drawn bows with arrows nocked!

Bringing up the rear was Sheriff Roscoe P Coltrane and Deputy Enos Strait both with drawn pistols and peeping over their shoulders was Daisy Duke who had somehow acquired a whip. I found out later that General Solo had given it to her. He had two which his cousin Indiana Jones IV had insisted he take.

Johnny, Mr Fitzroy and Natasha came rushing up to see oro was the matter but none of the three had been allowed weapons. That had been part of the deal Spike, Jett and Faye had made with the Master. Of course the time lord wasn't there. Mar was there though and a sleepy looking Suzy Quinn too. These last two were in kimonos over pajamas and nightgown respectively.

Gadzooks! I must have awakened the whole damned TARDIS! Then I noticed it was 0200! Angie came rushing in still trying to belt her kimono and balance a laser sword. I knew she slept with a Panther sleeve derringer strapped to her right forearm- a prezzie from Merrill Stryfe who carried at least fifty as a rule. Miss D and Kome trailed her with Neko Olson. Lastly came the Boss lady and she looked madder 'n a Glyorxian hyena tiger!

"I hope to Kami, Jordan, that you're at death's door 'cause if you ain't I'm gonna put ya there!" she said very quietly. Hoist the storm warnings when Miss O gets quiet we all knew only too well. I quickly explained that I had cracked the code and explained my findings.

"That's all very well, Princess but it still doesn't explain your hollerin' like a banshee." drawled Han Solo and I sheepishly admitted that I had frightened myself when I read the final line of the 'Riddle of Doom' as I had dubbed these runes. Angie had finally checked over my written interpretations and smiled.

"You got it, Edie. I figured it was either referring to me or the Boss but I didn't want to scare anyone since the rest of it is pretty grim tidings indeed. Now as for the rest-

'What be the warning? That time must never have it for it shall lead to chaos brought by the four of the horse. Time shall come with her twice but a sacrifice there must be.- Giles de Montmartre.'

"Perfectly clear to me, my dears. Time means Gallifreyans or time lords and ladies. You are traveling with the Ranee and myself so time is coming with you twice. Four of the Horse is undoubtedly Armageddon which shall be preceded by the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. They will bring Death, War, Famine & Pestilence according to the Book of Revelations in the Christian Bible. It means that your great grand uncle part of whose name you bear yourself did not wish any time lords or ladies to have whatever it is we shall find at the end of this quest. I certainly don't believe he meant the scrolls and writings of the Great Alexandrian Library, do you? I disagree with Miss Jordan about the sacrifice being human or indeed even alien. It is not to be a life form at all. We will know more when we complete that jigsaw puzzle and fit it to the maps. May I suggest that we all go back to our beds? We can discuss these things in full at a decent hour if you so desire. I bid you all good night."

The Master's voice ceased as abruptly as it had started. I knitted my brows in thought then snapped my fingers.

"A warning about oro, Angie? The end of the Universes perhaps? Maybe we should get Mr White and Mr Black to-" I began when Miss O'Halloran smashed her fist onto the table.

"Nai! We are not sending for those two idiots again! Every single time they show up, I get the worst of it! The Master's right. We should just go back to bed. We'll talk about this thing tomorrow or rather much later today. Jordan, if I hear another peep outta you, you'll be on permanent guard mount, got it? (I nodded) G'Night." growled a very surly Grand Marshall and she trotted back up the corridor to her own suite. My suite was four levels up and the Master did not seem to have a lift. I was too bushed to climb four flights of steps so I sacked out on the divan and used my satchel for a pillow. Blankets weren't necessary aboard the TARDIS.

I awakened to the smell of piping hot java at 1030 hours and accepted a cuppa from Rio. She was a knockout in a long dark wig and a gleaming white suit. She was wearing the shortest miniskirt I had ever seen and her polished white boots barely reached her shins.

"Man oh man Edie! You scared the shit outta me last night. You OK now?" she asked and the concern was evident in her voice.

"Yeah I'm fine Rio. I didn't see you last night. Where were ya?" I asked and sipped the scalding brew.

"I started down but Mr Blue said it was OK and to go on back to bed so I did. I gotta trace out the astral star lines on that old thingy of Angie's in case we lose it again. My fingers felt like they had arthur-ritis in 'em when I went to bed." replied Rio with a wink.

"Guess they wanna try and figure out where we go from Deverios huh?" I ventured.

"Your guess is just as good as mine, Edie. Great interpreting yesterday, Hon. Well, back to the grindstone for me. Later." said Rio.

A day or two later Glork made planetfall on Deverios and the away team was readied again. This time the Bebop gang came with us. The Ranee and Mr Fitzroy accompanied us again but the Master told Johnny to remain aboard.

"I thought you time jockeys despised weapons, Natasha." I said as we stood side by side in the moving room awaiting our turn to be fricaseed and transported. She grinned.

"The other time lords and ladies use stasis rifles and hand weapons which only incapacitate someone. They are quite harmless. I got used to carrying real weapons while I was part of Johnny's crew aboard the 'Starcrusher' back in '48 and '49. The Master's powers are so damned extensive that he doesn't even carry his miniaturization gun anymore. That thing was scary and he was forever threatening to use it on me.

"It extracts all the water from the body leaving a small dry doll, quite dead, of course. You see, dear, the human body is seventy per cent water so removing all of it leaves nothing to moisten and lube the body, understand? Hush now, it's our turn next. Just close your eyes and keep repeating to yourself 'There's no place like home' and before you know it, it'll be all over." said Natasha Ranee in a soothing tone of voice. She seemed to be mellowing with age. Kami knew how old she and the Master were but I knew the Master had regenerated some 15 times! Natasha said she'd only regenned four times.

I shut my eyes and pretended I was Dorothy Gale coming back from Oz. When I opened them I almost expected to see the Wicked Witch of the West standing there. Natasha sure was reminding me of the Good Witch of the North all of a sudden.

"Ow! I hurt my ass dammit!" howled Rio who had been ordered to accompany us this time whether she wanted to or not. I glanced over and saw that she had materialized on a pile of loose gravel. When she had taken a step forward, she'd slipped and fallen onto her keester. Ow! indeed.

"I told you not to wear that short skirt, DelCroix. Get up, will ya?" ordered Miss O'Halloran. Since this was not Workoh she had insisted on coming with us and the Master had raised no objection. However, Miss Donovan and a few of the others were ordered to remain aboard and monitor the vidphones because this time we had been issued comm relay devices.

The Master had said that Deverios was a much larger planet well moon anyway and he didn't want us getting lost. My little box began chirping and I answered it.

"Edie here. I read ya. Lima Charlie. OK. Out." I stuck the thing back into my jacket pocket and ran to catch up with the others. Oh yeah Lima Charlie is radio language for Loud & Clear. Since that 'javelin' on the jigsaw piece had pointed NNE that's the way we went. An hour later Angie spotted a tall watchtower in the distance and a quick look see through her power x binoculars showed a symbol that she said had been used by those Knights of hers in the olden days.

Two concentric circles joined at the centre by by four short straight strokes. The left circle showed a picture of knights riding on chargers, horses not that old Dodge car. The other one had a picture of a funny looking rotunda temple surmounted by a cross with equal arms. Strange Latin words surrounded both circles and Angie called it one of the ancient Templar seals. Rio asked if they barked and Suzy slugged her. Anyway this big seal had been carved above the entryway of the tower.

These Knights never seemed to put stuff where it would be easy to get to, oh no! This time we had to walk up a very very very long and winding staircase which Angie explained symbolized the pathway of life. Darn it! Did everything have to symbolize something with these guys I wondered aloud and Rio giggled. My feet felt like lead when we finally reached the top of the tower but our search bore fruit!

I saw it first. Halfway up the North wall and over towards the right (East) was another jigsaw piece. We were debating how to get up there and get the thing down when ZANG! Han's whip snapped a second later he deftly caught the artifact in his left hand. He handed it to Angie who wrapped it carefully in a cloth before stowing it away in her backpack.

"Can we all go back home now, Mommy? I'm hungry." said Mr Legato with a grin.

"Let's head back now. (Natasha activated her vidphone) Hey Harvey! We found it. Yeah, it was on the wall of a watchtower. Had Templar seals above the door and all. See ya in a couple of hours. We're gonna have lunch first. Natasha out." said our time lady and off we went to the closest gin mill.

"Why do I have to pick up the tab?" snarled Natasha Ranee angrily. The rest of us all grinned.

"Well in a way we are your guests, ain't we? I mean 'prisoner' is such an ugly word, don't ya reckon?" drawled Han Solo.

Natasha fed the bill into her PDO and tapped in the amount due plus 15% for our hapless server. I mean the poor lady had been run off her jet boots with all of us constantly ordering more food, desserts, booze and smokes. Finally Natasha grinned and said that she'd get reimbursed by the Master anyway and we all laughed.

She did, however, put the kibosh on Rio's request that we use a rental sky car to get back to the TARDIS. I mean maybe he'd spring for lunch but we couldn't expect the Master to shell out a few hundred credits for a ride back home! Rio bit her lip and winced a few times and rubbed her ass every five minutes (We found out later she'd been walking on a sprained ankle) but she kept relatively quiet on the walk back. I still dunno why the Master didn't just have us beamed back aboard and told Milady the same thing.

"You don't think anyone would have noticed our whole party just vanishing into thin air, Edie? Deverios is pretty damned primitive. They didn't even take Universal Express at that bistro where we had lunch. Ah, we're home. I'd better call the Master and get us beamed aboard. Angie! Don't use the portal! You'll get lost. Yo Harvey! Beam us aboard will ya? OK. Stand close together guys. Energize Harvey." said Natasha and back down the rabbit hole we went! Can ya tell that I hate beaming?

Angie wasted no time in fitting the second piece of the jigsaw into place and superimposing the star charts over it. There was another jagged edge with a long bow and arrow held by a cherub angel and pointing due South. Try as we might though we could not discern any moon, asteroid, sun or planet on a direct line until the Master had a scathingly brilliant idea.

"We are assuming our next destination is in this dimension but remember that the old Knights hid this loot ages upon ages ago. Natasha, find those old Pere Reis star maps. Arigatou my dear. Aha! Just as I suspected! Halfway between us and that star cluster there is a tiny asteroid or there was anyway. It may still be there or oro's left of it. That would explain it's absence from our current star charts. Glork! Steer us due South at quarter speed. We don't want to miss it. Oro'd you say? I have no idea oro it is we are seeking so keep a sharp lookout for anything. It will be on a direct line with us so don't deviate from a due Southerly course. Natasha, man the scanners for Glork. Take one of the brats to help you." said the time lord.

"Delcroix! Front and centre dammit. You're with me, girl." snapped the Ranee. Rio tried to get to her feet but the pain was too much for her and she sank back down with a groan and began to cry. Solo and Angie bathed her swollen ankle and then taped it up while Natasha fumed.

"Rio has a sprained ankle, mum. Could I take her place?" I asked.

"I don't care which brat you use! Just get up there dammit!" howled the Master.

"Fine. You're with me, Jordan. C'mon girl." growled the time lady and I jogged behind her. Rio and Angie filled me in later on oro had happened while I was on assignment. I was surprised that the TARDIS's scanners were almost the same as ours were on the Lovely Angels.

If you've never seen a scanner well it's like a vidTV screen with lots of dots and stuff on it. I had to watch directly in front of our ship's pathway for any dot or blip and immediately tell the big doggie or Natasha. I was given a small transceiver like an ancient Terran walkie talkie to use and informed that I'd be spelled at 1700 (5 PM) for dinner.

Then back to work until my shift ended at midnight when Natasha would take over. There was a repper beside me in case I got hungry or cold. The Ranee wished me good luck and then told me oro would happen to me if I somehow missed the piece of Terra Firma we were after. I never knew time ladies had such foul mouths!

Meanwhile everyone else was speculating on oro was waiting for us on this strange world the Master had identified on the ancient charts as being called Nyacinith.

"Wish it was the Philosopher's Stone, Al." grumbled Edward Elric.

"Now brother, don't get discouraged. Someday we'll find it or how to make one without human sacrifices." replied Alphonse trying to cheer up his elder brother. Angie had decided it would be another piece of the jigsaw and she felt sure there were four pieces to it. We already had two so we were halfway there she'd told everyone.

A fortnight passed and we'd all been taking turns at the scanners. During Suzy Quinn's watch we finally struck paydirt. Somehow she'd found the PA system's vidmike and she was hollering loud enough to raise Alucard from his grave! Her sighting of the tiny atoll asteroid came just minutes before my shift was to begin. Talk about a lucky break huh?

'Nyacinith' was no more than a quarter of a kilometre across by half a kilometre the other way. Easy peezey you say? Wrong-o! Did I neglect to mention it was heavily forested and looked more like Terra's Amazon Jungle? And of course we'd not a clue of where to search. Mr Solo likened it to a treasure hunt on Terran Canada's Oak Island. Most of us felt that old Han was going a bit senile anyway. It turned out there really is or rather was an Oak Island on Terra but no loot was ever found. In AD 2200 an errant meteor strike wiped it out along with half of Newfoundland and New Brunswick!

The Boss lady wanted to burn down the forest because, she reasoned, the Knights must have used an old temple to hide the next clue. Miss D said we should scan the jungle for caves or caverns. Han and Blue suggested looking for somebody's skull. Blue explained that was how a treasure hunt began in an ancient Terran story by Mr Poe called 'The Gold Bug'. Rio refused point blank to go traipsying through the jungle. I suggested dividing into four teams and attack the forest from each of the four cardinal points. Angie was laughing so hard I thought she'd split her sides open.

"Have any of you guys looked at the aerial vidpix that Glork took for us? I deduced that to use such a tiny asteroid my ancestours must have assumed we'd think of only one place. Since they were at the centre of most things the only place they'd hide anything would be at the very centre of the forest and there is usually a clearing in the centre of a woods I've found. If you check out the vidpix you'll see that I am correct in my assumptions.

Sure enough there it was! A tiny opening in the middle of the trees and oro appeared to be a stone slab, probably an altar set in the very centre of the clearing. How exactly we were going to get a heavy piece of crap like that aboard this tub was beyond me and I said so.

"Unless I miss my guess, Edie, that altar stone is carved with mystic runes or contains a piece of the jigsaw. In either case all we'll need is my trusty cell vidphone. I'm sure the Master has vidphoto equipment aboard so I can enlarge the vidpix and then we can decipher the runes. (Then she frowned) Where can we land this thing? Looks like all trees down there save for the clearing and it's only a few metres across." said Angie and I nodded my agreement.

"We'll beam down. Harvey, I'll take the Templar kid, Edie, Suzy Q and Solo down. Any more and we'll be standing on each other's shoulders. OK you four, let's go. Glork? Five to beam down. Gimme five minutes to get to the transporters." said Natasha and we reluctantly followed her to the Neverland room. Six minutes later we touched down. Angie and Suzy landed on the stone altar while the Ranee touched down lightly on the ground and Mr Solo landed in a crouch beside her his outstretched arms easily catching me like a fireman does when someone jumps from a burning building.

Angie soon ascertained that the 'runes' were actually a drawing of the third jigsaw puzzle piece and she began snapping vidpix like mad from every conceivable angle.

"You get unlimited vidtext with that thing too?" chortled the Ranee and Angie nodded abstractedly.

"Yeah, I get unlimited solar minutes as well. I'm with 'Shimougouan Infinity'- just twenty credits a month. Ya gotta have a sponsor to sign up. I was lucky that the Brig sponsored me and Suzy. That's enough I think. Edie, better get a rubbing of it just in case. Anything underneath it Suzy? Nothing huh? (Angie whipped out a hand lens like Mr Holmes might do OK a magnifying glass) Hello, that's strange. There are no javelins, arrows, spears or anything to indicate the next direction and the one side is definitely unfinished. There must be a fourth piece but which way do we go to find the darn thing I wonder?" mused Angie.

"Ow! Who the jigoku left this damned thing in the middle of a forest? Hey Angie! Oro the oni is this bloody thing?" yelled Suzy and we all trooped over to look at her find. It was strange looking. A round stone polished like the drill floor back at the Academy. In the centre of it was oro Suzy had stumbled into and skinned her knee. A metre and a half tall rusty hunk of metal with a jagged top. Guess part of it wore out huh? Han, Legato and Angie all realized oro the thing was at the same time.

"A sundial!" they chorused. The Ranee was frowning again.

"The sun's out but it's nowhere near your precious sundial you'll notice." she said and we had to admit that she was quite correct. Then I had a brainstorm.

"Maybe it's a moondial?" I suggested. Everyone laughed at that suggestion except Angie.

"Maybe Edie's right. If this had been intended to catch the sun's rays why wasn't it positioned differently and why weren't these trees cut back farther? (She pointed towards this system's sun) See? A sundial should be on the opposite side of the table. (We looked and didn't see another sundial where she was pointing. Now she indicated the section of sky above the dial empty save for a few scudding clouds which promised some wet stuff by morning) That's where the moon will appear at sunset. (She checked her wrist chromo) Natasha, how about we wait here for sunset and see oro happens? I brought a repper so we can have lunch and dinner here. How about it, time lady?" asked the tallish redhead.

"Why the Hell not? I didn't get much sleep last night. Make us some lunch, Vicontessa. Solo. Bluesummers. See oro kinds of fruit and veggies this dump has to offer. Edie. Suzy. Rep up some chairs and a cloth for the altar stone. Then rep up some dishes and silverware and set the table. Wake me when lunch is ready. Quinn has first watch. I suggest that the rest of you get some sleep after lunch." said the Ranee.

Lunch was delicious. I had next watch so I sacked out after lunch. I spelled Suzy and she had lunch. I had dinner when Blue relieved me at 1700 hours. At sunset we'd see oro we would see. Afterwards Blue would take the watch followed by Solo and finally the graveyard shift would be handled by Natasha.

Of course at sunset the moon shot its shimmering silver rays down the shaft of the moondial and illuminated the big White Tiger meaning our final piece of this complex puzzle lay to the West. It was such a nice night that we begged Mama Ranee to let us camp out here. She was still tired and readily agreed. While the rest of us repped up sleeping stuff Angie got out slide rule and sextant. She was still hard at it when morning came and with it an icy cold rainstorm! I tapped her arm but all she did was point at a distant speck on her charts. The redhead seemed to be in shock! Then I saw why!

END of Chapter 11. Chapter 12 'There & Back Again' or 'Finishing the Puzzle' coming real soon to a website near you.


	12. Ch12 'There&BackAgain'FinishingthePuzz

TRUCKS IN SPACE

Chapter 12 'There & Back Again' or 'Finishing the Puzzle'

DISCLAIMER: We wanna thank Mr Takachiho for the use of his Angelic creations and all the other nice folks who are kind enough to allow us to use their creations. Any of our own stuff well anyone is welcome to use them so long as we get credit for them.

Angie seemed to be pointing at a small moon to the East of Workoh where this whole danged mess had begun a few weeks back! Then I thought of the 'bugs' on ancient Terra's Nazca Plain and that blamed doggerel runic crap on the star chart manuscripts! Do you remember it?

'Where was the first sun? Over the alkadrad. Where was the third moon? Under the zyblagoran. How was it stepped? North 5 by 5. East 4 by 4. West 3 by 3. South 2 by 2. Up 1 by 1 and so under. Whom shall seek it? She who will come. How shall we know her? By the blaze of her mane. Whom shall she be? The last of the last and 12 generations old. Will she find it? Yea she shall. Why should we allow her? For the sake of the trust. Will she be warned? Yea she must. What be the warning? That time must never have it for it shall lead to chaos brought by the four of the horse. Time shall come with her twice but a sacrifice there must be.- Giles de Montmartre.'

This moon just had to be the same one mentioned in the first stanza, didn't it? Acting on a hunch, I keyed up the third moon of Workoh which seemed to be named Alhazared. I sharpened the focus and there it was clear as crystal! Landing strip lines crisscrossed the entire moon but at the very centre they formed a lopsided pentagram or pentacle with 5 uneven sides.

Angie did a double take and almost fell over the chart tables! Then she whistled and practically upset the java mugs and urn in her haste to superimpose Alhazared over the blank area where the fourth and final piece of the jigsaw would fit. Then she frowned and bit her lip.

"Rats! It still leaves that empty pentacle on the jigsaw. There must be another temple or Templar building there. I was hoping we wouldn't have to do any more hiking but I guess we'll have to, kiddo. I'd better tell Glork. Wait here, Edie." said the last of the Templar clans and she left. A few of us were allowed to visit the bridge but only if we have important information.

"OK. Glork is changing course and said we should be make moonfall sometime in the next few days. Have you seen Natasha at all? (I shook my head and went back to my vid crossword puzzle) She looked really beat. She's probably in her rooms. I'll wait until dinner to tell her the good news. I'm going to get a drink. Coming?" asked Angie and I followed her to the bar.

"Natasha already knows of your good fortune, Lt. de Roncesvalles. Good work, Suba Jordan in finding that pentacle on Alhazared's surface. Glork's orders are to comm relay any course changes to both myself and the Ranee. See you at dinner." boomed out our Master's voice from the concealed PA speakers. We were getting used to his 'announcements' and only twinged a little when they came to us.

Having a before dinner drink seemed to appeal to the rest of our party as well. When we arrived at the TARDIS's 'bar' the place was packed. Han Solo and John Berringer were tending bar and I nudged the Brigadier and pointed to Johnny who was supposed to be in the brig.

"The baddies can't go anywhere to escape on this flying tincan, Edie. The Bebop gang gave the Master permission to release them from the brig and the Boss insisted that they earn their keep so Johnny's a bartender with Han who volunteered and the rest of his boys are doing maintenance work and janitorial duties. Grets is helping Granny in the galley and Hansy is looking for the exit. We told him there wasn't one but he still went to find it. Daisy Duke's waiting on tables and Boss Hogg is holding court next door in the rec room. The younger tro-cons and truckers love to listen to his Civil War yarns. Bo and Luke Duke are tinkering with the General Lee. I lost track of Roscoe, Enos and Flash that mangy mutt of the sheriff's. Hey barkeep! Another 'Cutty' for me and a grape knee-high for Edie. Tokay for Angie. Now where was I, kids? Oh yeah the Boss and the Duchess are writing up reports so don't be too surprised if it's snowing when we get to Alhazared. Anyone wanna shoot some pool?" said the blonde Brigadier Marlene Angel but both Angie and I declined her invitation.

The next few days dragged along and on the third night since we had changed course Grets tapped on our portal and then strolled in. The poor witch hunter maiden had a worried look on her face. Angie had already gone to her bunk and I was just about to turn in as well. I yawned and waved the girl to a chair. She sat down and played with her belt buckle.

"Oro is it, Grets? Trouble in the kitchen?" I joked but she shook her head and stared at the deck. Finally she heaved a sigh.

"It's my brother Hansy, Miss Jordan. He hasn't been back to our rooms since last week. I'm worried that he may have got himself lost. Miss DelCroix told me that this vessel is so large that someone could get lost aboard it and never find their way off it or even back to where they started from! I-I-I oh please help me find him, Miss J!" blubbered the fairy tale heroine. I hugged the poor dear and mumbled soothing words to her.

"Oh you mustn't pay much attention to Rio. She just likes to yak all the time. I wouldn't worry about it though. There are replicators all over this TARDIS, Grets. He sure won't starve to death and tomorrow we'll ask Natasha to help us find him." I cooed to the frightened kid. Kid? She must have been at least a decade older than me! Guess I was picking up the Boss's bad habits. The PA speakers came to life and scared the Hell outta poor Grets.

"Not to worry, my dear Miss Gretel. Your brother is being directed back to this area as I speak. My TARDIS can change the configuration of its interior at my whim. I have reset his route so he just cannot get lost and he should be back with you by breakfast time tomorrow. Now go and get some rest, my dear child. Good night ladies and pleasant dreams to you both." boomed out the Master's voice.

I walked Grets back to her rooms on the sixth level and then returned to my own bunk. On the way back I stopped to switch off the lights in the hallway which led to the forbidden 'off limits' sector of the TARDIS.

"OW! Who turned off the damned lights? Didn't Master Lunatic pay his electric bill or something?" yelled a loud male voice from the darkness. I hastily switched them back on. Poor Hansel was kneeling on one knee and rubbing the other one where he'd banged it into the bulkhead. I helped him to his feet.

"Thanks Edie. Ya know we ain't paying the bills around here, don't ya? (I nodded) OK then stop turning off stuff! I was following those side rail lights back here and then the whole corridor went dark as a witch's heart!" grumbled the Grimm's Fairy Tale lad who was a good five years my senior.

"Hey! Watch your language, Hansy! I'm a witch and my heart is not dark I'll have you know!" cried Robin Senna who was finally retiring for the night after a late poker session with some of the guys in the bar. Hansel apologized and Robin smiled. Then with the two of us supporting him we walked him to the lift and up six floors to the suite he was sharing with his sister.

I said good night to Robin on the fifth floor and continued down to my own bunk. Just as my head hit the pillows Glork's voice rang inside my head telling me we had reached 'Alhazared' the third moon of Workoh. As it was so late we would orbit it until the morning. I mumbled an arigatou (thank you) and went to sleep.

Next morning Angie and I (Rio had overslept again) perused the vidpix that Glork had snapped of the moon. It didn't take us long to find the pentagonal clearing and it soon became clear that making 'moonfall' would not be necessary after all. In the centre of the stone walled clearing sand had been spread over the ground and atop this stuff someone (The ancient Templar knights?) had very carefully and meticulously laid out pebbles to form a distinct pattern!

We were both excited when Suzie and Angie called up holograms of the star charts, maps and scrolls. Then we carefully super-imposed the pattern over them. Voila! Angie's word not mine! It means the same as Eureka or so Angie told me. Anyhow the whole shebang when viewed from high above the moon took on the shape of an ancient Templar seal which Angie explained to us was oro the masonic Order used to denote their group's thirty-third level of achievement!

Oh I'm certain sure you've seen the thing. It's sorta like an all seeing aizu (eye) surrounded by a Seal of Solomon form well almost. Take your two hands and hold 'em fingertips to fingertips. Now make a 'V' outta the forefinger and middle finger on each hand. Criss cross each 'V' and turn your hands so the 'V's point North and South or up and down. Imagine an all seeing eye like the one above the pyramid on ancient 20th and 21st Century Terran one dollar bills. It's on the reverse side of the bill. Mr Georgeie Washington's on the other side.

Angie said that the 'V's were really drawing compasses only on our level one of the Southern facing compass tips was a lot longer than the other one's. It pointed dead South and both Suzie and Angie frowned. I asked oro the matter was and then I too saw the problem.

Try as we might that Southerly pointing dead reckoning did not intersect with anything but our own home world of Shimougou!

"That finishes the puzzle. We go back home now although where my ancestours hid a library on Shimougou is beyond me! Anything to add, Suze?" said a disgusted Lt de Roncesvalles and she sat down wearily to eat her cold breakfast.

"There and back again huh? Just like the Doctor's book he gave to the Boss for a prezzie five years ago. We seem to have come full circle, Angie. Oro do you think, Edie?" replied Suzie Quinn. She too collapsed into a chair and began to pig out. Taken unawares, I tripped over my chair and almost fell on my keester.

"It must be pointing at a specific spot on the planet but at a distance of 65 million lightyears we won't be able to pinpoint it until we reach the outer markers in a fortnight or so. It seems to be lined up with the Gyrol Mountains but most of those things has yet to be explored ya know. You'd better tell Mr M and Miss R that we won't need a picnic lunch since we won't be going down." I said and both of my superiors nodded their agreement.

"I do wish your relatives had not been so devious, my dear. Glork has already changed course to due South. I'll see you at lunch." boomed out our Master's voice over the squawkboxes making us jump as usual. After breakfast we looked in on poor Hansel but when we arrived, Miss Donovan had already bandaged his skinned knee and given him a shot of 'Kalordian XII' for the pain. Both he and Grets thanked us and seemed glad we were returning to a civilized world even if it wasn't their Terra.

We found Robin, the Elric boys, Haruka, Winry, Izumi and Mr Armstrong helping Granny with the breakfast dishes. Sure we 'rep' up everything meaning it is constantly recycled and reused but try and tell Pinako (Granny) Rockabelle that! She reminded me a lot of Jed Clampett's granny on that ancient Terran vidTV series Rio and I liked so much. Robin, Rio, Suzie, Angie and I wiped off the tables, changed the tablecloths, filled the salt cellars and pepper shakers, the sugar bowls and the creamers and got things ready for lunch. Everyone else was either sacked out, still asleep, playing games or getting smashed in the bar or the rec room.

I asked Miss D where Miss O was and I was told that she and the Brigadier were both in the 'observation room' and they were not to be disturbed unless Worlds War CVII (107) was declared! After my work was done I went back to my puzzle and suddenly a thought occurred to me which I had never thought of before this.

END of Chapter 12. Chapter 13 'What's Behind Cavern #4?' or 'Angels In the Mountains' coming really soon after I do my income taxes. Sayonara for now and Kami bless all of our readers. See ya soon- Suba (jg) Edna Jordan and your friendship team.


	13. Ch13'What'sBehindCavern4'AngelsInMts

TRUCKS IN SPACE

Chapter 13 'What's Behind Cavern #4?' or 'Angels In the Mountains'

DISCLAIMER: We wanna thank Mr Takachiho for the use of his Angelic creations and all the other nice folks who are kind enough to allow us to use their creations. Any of our own stuff well anyone is welcome to use them so long as we get credit for them.

Yeah baby! I am proud to say that I thought of something that Miss Know-It-All de Roncesvalles had either forgotten or just plain never thought of it at all. I recalled that five years ago in the Girol Mountains of Shimougou Miss D had told us that then Captain (Now Admiral) Zach Zero had discovered several caverns near that old cabin that the gang had used for a hideout from Johnny Berringer.

Furthermore she said that Zachie had told them that above one of those cavern entrances had been carved a weird symbol- an upwards pointing caret intersecting a downwards pointing caret and in its centre was carved an aizu or eye. Jokingly Captain Jonathan Harlock had compared it to the Masonic Order or the Knights Templar! Supposing just supposing that was where Angie's lunatic ancestours had hidden their loot well His Majestic Highness Alexander's loot?

Then I wondered why if they had shared their space traveling secrets and stuff with the kid (Angie said he'd been a mere 16 when he conquered most of Terra and that he'd died in his 30's) had he never gone after his treasures? Maybe his wife had been cleaning up the castle and thought they were just junk like Mrs Aladdin had done with an old lamp in that story that Doctor #6 had told us?

Nai, that couldn't be right because Mr Master had gotten Mr Solo to find that old star chart map scroll thing with those mystic runes on it, hadn't he? I sure as Hell hoped that this would be the end of the line for us and that Mr Master would keep his promise and let us all go after he got his treasures. Mr Solo had said that it'd be a cold day in Hades afore the Boss lady would let that whacko time jockey and his moll get away with their ill gotten gains.

Finally I decided to see if I could find those caverns on the map for Angie so I took a walk down those endless gantryway stairs to the big room where we'd left all the trucks and stuff. I knew that Commander Moriarty of the KASP had given a new vidmap of the Girol Mountains to Mr Hugh the Polar Bear ice roader 'cause Mr Big & Bad had wanted to do some rock climbing. That was before we all got yanked away on this fool mission of course.

Anyhow Mr Hugh had stuck them in his rig's glove box and I knew that Mr Hugh never locked his rig so I quickly found the big space truck cab and had soon located the vidmap which I stuck into my rucksack (Which I'd left behind when we got caught). My mission accomplished, I turned to leave when I heard the most pitiful howl I'd ever heard. Then a shadow loomed in front of me which scared the dickens outta me!

"Looky Flash! We caught one o' them there Duke boys tryin' to steal stuff outta these funny lookin' trains! Git yer hands up! I seen ya put somethin' into that backpack o' yorn! Turn around real slow and drop yer weapons! Flash, don't ya take yer eyes offa this criminal while I frisk him. Assume the position if ya please." said Sheriff Roscoe P Coltrane and beside him was that mangy hound of his.

"Oro (What) position, sir? And I am not a Duke, I'm a Jordan. It's me, sir- Edna Jordan, you know- Edie? I'm not stealing anything. I'm just borrowing a vidmap from Mr Hugh is all. Put that toy away, sir. I am quite unarmed and besides with the dampening field in place the darn thing won't work anyway. Oro are you doing down here, Sheriff? May I put my hands down now?" I demanded and the big guy reholstered his hog's leg as Mr Solo had called their antique weapons and then he took off his ten gallon cowboy hat and stood there holding it by the brim.

"I apologize, Miss Jordan. But Boss er my Boss, Mr Hogg that is, not your Boss Lady told me and Enos to check on his big Caddy. Then old Flash here perked up his ears and I thought someone was up to no good. Truth is Miss I thought I was back in old Hazzard County back home. Permit me to escort ya back home, ma'am. Let's go old Flash. After y'all, ma'am." he said and I smiled.

"No harm done, sir. But please call me Edie. I'm way too young for that ma'am stuff. The gantryway stairs and the turbolift cars are this way, Sheriff." I called when he and Flash had headed for the 'off limits' force beam barriers. He did an about face and followed me. I decided to forego the ten or eleven flights of steps and stepped aboard one of the lift cars. Roscoe and Flash followed me into the car and I told the lift to take us to my suite. Poor Mr C looked around in vain for the lift operator and I explained to him that the computer ran the lift. He began looking for the computer while Flash sniffed around the floor!

I dropped off my satchel at my rooms and then conducted Flash and Roscoe down to the bar. Then I ran back up the gantryway stairs to my rooms and began to pore over the mountainous vidmap. Just as I had thought the six caverns were clearly indicated on the map. They were only a few kilometres from the old cabin which was also clearly indicated. Of course I had no way of telling which cavern was the Templars' because not even on 200K X magnification could I discern any markings above any of the caverns. That meant two more weeks of waiting! I decided to tell Angie and Suzie of my suspicions. Just then-

"Yes my dear, I should have realized it sooner. Those caverns would make the perfect hiding place for Templar treasures and I was even with your friends five years ago in that very cabin. Strange that I forgot all about Captain Zero's findings, is it not? Good job, Miss Jordan. By all means tell Miss deRoncesvalles and Miss Quinn of your findings. I have ordered Glork to increase our Warp speed to as fast as he can safely manage. We should be back home in less than a week. My mistake, my dear cadet. Of course Zero is a Fleet Admiral now, is he not? Well we all make mistakes, do we not? See you at luncheon, my dear." boomed out our Master's voice over the PA speakers again causing me to involuntarily jump.

Angie was ecstatic while Suzie kept pumping my hand and clapping me on the back until I was wincing from the pain. It was decided that we would make an announcement at dinner tonight. That way everyone would be able to see that we were not just on a wild goose chase after all. Angie was staring hard at the vidmap and almost willing it to reveal the mysterious Templar symbol above the correct cavern but nothing happened and we went to lunch. Rio and Zoe were on scanner detail but we'd see them at dinner when Kome and Neko took over their watch. By mutual agreement, Angie, Suzie and I decided to take a long nap before dinner. After all I for one had been up half the night. I learned later that Suzie and Angie had also been burning the midnight hyperdrives at both ends!

Dinnertime came and I was allotted the honours of making our announcement to the rest of our party. Rio hadn't a clue as to oro we meant by caverns since the only ones she'd ever been in were on 'Ryvius IX' and were only reachable from under the waters of the lakes. Zoe looked at Angie and held up four fingers while mouthing the word 'four' which made no sense at all.

I found out later that the Templars' favourite number had always been '4' so that meant that in Zoe's opinion our goal would be Cavern #4 counting from left to right. We wouldn't know for sure if she was right for a whole week. Johnny started a raffle contest with everyone picking a Cavern number that they thought would be the treasure trove concealer. I risked 50 credits when Johnny's 'bookie' Fitzroy gave me 5 to 1 odds. Of course I chose '4' as did most of us.

Mr Solo picked '5' his reasoning being that the cavern would form the fifth jigsaw piece of the puzzle. Daisy Duke and the Brigadier gambled 25 credits on each cavern. That way they were both sure to win. As stakesholder Fitzroy was not permitted a pick but if Johnny won he'd split with him- 80/20. Our Johnny B was all heart, wasn't he folks? Natasha picked the first cavern her reasoning being that the Templars were too damned lazy to move all that loot very far into the mountains.

Sig Curtis pointed out that like that ancient Terran film 'National Treasure' this cavern may merely be another clue which would lead us someplace else. Izumi who was tired of riding around in this big tin can kicked her hubby in the shins. Al Elric was broke and joked that he'd left his wallet in his Sunday armour. Winry lent him a hundred credits and he whispered his number to Fitzroy. Ed chose '1' as the alchemy creed is 'One is all and all is one' and he risked a thousand credits from his research grant funds on it but he insisted on 10 to 1 odds. Fitzroy gave him odds of 100 to 1.

Granny didn't hold with gamblin' and said so while admonishin' the rest of us who were livin' in sin. Brig General Armstrong toshed this and talked on and on about the Armstrong luck which had been passed down the line from one generation to the next until Fitzroy told him to 'put up or shut up' at which time he chose number '6' because he couldn't have '7' the number of deadly sins or virtues. At 0200 (2 AM) Fitzroy took his last bet and retired to his rooms.

I fell asleep watching The 7 Samurai and after soundly defeating Naruto and Sasuke 137 to 3 in Duel Monsters Angie and Suzie hauled me off to my bunk. I think the Dukes had challenged Roscoe, Enos and Boss Hogg to a game of darts but I never did find out who won nor did I much care. I don't like darts probably because Rio has such a lousy aim that when Angie, Suzie, the 'WOOHP' spy girls Clover, Sam, Alex and I played with her she always managed to wing one or more of us! I liked chess but aboard the TARDIS the only chess they had was that one with three chessboards and I am not that chess savvy that I can think three moves ahead in three different games at the same time!

The next morning Neko asked me to do some shooting with her and the ice roaders whom she'd been ordered to give some pointers to by 'She who WILL be obeyed' and I readily accepted. Angie and Suzie wanted to play video Risk and we did not ask Rio DelCroix to join us for obvious reasons. Neko had repped up two beauties- both Mark XIII ion cannons like the Boss Lady used. The shootin' gallery was five levels below the truck pen rooms and the lift didn't work below our first home level so we had to walk. The boys were already there and rarin' to go. We had a pleasant session or I did anyhow. I can't vouch for the others.

I found out later that the Boss and the Brigadier had been giving impromptu rock climbing lessons to all comers on the Master's holodecks. I didn't think he even had such things on his TARDIS but ya live and learn huh? After our shooting session had ended (Which Neko won. Natch) Mr Hugh and Mr Eric hurried to catch the tail end of Miss O's class. I went back to my vidfilms after lunch and was joined by Neko and a few of the others.

Roscoe and Enos were practicing their 'fast draws' with Tom Mix and Hopalong Cassidy on the holodeck. Daisy Duke was getting recipes from Granny while her cousins were busily trying to pick up cadets to no avail. Boss Hogg was telling Terran Civil War tales about his great grand daddy Jefferson Davis the Confederate prezzy to anyone who'd listen at the bar. Flash and Ein were being pillows for Rin and tomboy Ed. Spike and Jett were fixing the 'Bebop' again while Faye Valentine was playing the ponies on one of the holodecks. At least the only swag she lost wasn't real. Mr Armstrong and Mr Curtis were shirtless and flexing their muscles much to the delight of several ladies amongst them Miss Donovan herself. The Ranee had passed out across the bar and Harvey Master was practicing his putting in the rec room. The only one doing any work was the big dog Glork who steered a steady path due South.

I was reminded of an old Terran children's book written by the Englishman Sir J M Barrie (Peter Pan) anda quote from it sprang unbidden from my lips 'First star on the left then straight on 'til morning. That's the way to Neverland my friends.' Luckily nobody had overheard me and I went back to composing my letters to Daddy and Tomoh. Daddy was a big noise in the 3WA while my brother was the 3WA genius geeky nerd but if it has to do with computers he's a regular whiz bang expert.

Suddenly Rio came racing over with Nami Richards in tow. Rio seemed more excited than usual but nami looked mad as Hell. It seemed that my dipstick co-cadet had been on scanner watch and had gotten bored so she had idly pulled up my Girol Mountains map on the vidscreens. Around the caverns she had seen something she didn't believe.

Rio had then increased the magnification to 3000X and she had snapped a damned good pix or photograph off the screen. When she told us oro it was a pix of we'd immediately took a good whiff of Rio's breath! It was fresh and she was cold sober! Then she took us to her own room on Level 7 where she'd left the pix just in case the Ranee or the Master had been prowling the halls.

"See? I told ya I wasn't drunk or lying, Edie! It's an ancient Terran Catholic nun and she IS flying! Oro the Hell is a nun doing on Shimougou dammit? Gues we'll have to wait until we get there in another couple of weeks huh? Should we tell anybody about this?" asked Rio DelCroix worriedly.

"Who else knows about this, Rio?" demanded Lt/Cmdr Nami Richards.

"You, Edie, Mr Solo and Suzie Quinn. Why?" replied my wifty roomie at the Academy.

"We'll tell Angie and Miss Donovan but not the hotheaded redhead. OK? (We all nodded) Rio, if someone else is there even if it is a flying sister they may be after the same thing we are. Miss Flight Angel there may be a lookout. So keep your traps shut. Loose lips atomize starships ya know. Better get downstairs for dinner. We don't want those tome loonies getting suspicious, do we?" commanded Nami and we all went downstairs for our dinners.

Suzie and Angie both agreed that the fewer of us who knew about the 'lookout' nun, the better for all hands. I was therefore ordered to remove the Girol Mountains map from the main computer system which I did immediately. Arigatou (Thank you or Thanks) heavens for our PDOs! Otherwise I would have had to hack into the TARDIS's master controls and Kami knew how many failsafes and booby traps were in that damned thing! Then I had a wild thought and poked Rio's arm.

"Let me see that pix again, kiddo. (She handed it to me and rubbed her arm) Yeah, I thought so! She seems to be guarding the fourth cavern from the left! That's the one with the mark above it. I'll lay ya ten to one odds that the mark is a Templar symbol. Thanks a lot, Rio. Sorry I punched ya in the arm. Force of habit I guess." I said and handed her the pix which she stuck back in her bosom. Did I ever mention how er well endowed in that area was our Rio?


	14. Ch14'OnlyWayToFly'TemplarTricksAgain'

TRUCKS IN SPACE

Chapter 14 'The Only Way To Fly' or 'Templar Tricks Again?'

DISCLAIMER: We wanna thank Mr Takachiho for the use of his Angelic creations and all the other nice folks who are kind enough to allow us to use their creations. Any of our own stuff well anyone is welcome to use them so long as we get credit for them.

After we'd hit the surface and before we could even get comfy in the snug warm cabin in the heart of Shimougou's Girol Mountains where- ah but that is another story guys! Anywho we were immediately ordered to check our kits and board the numerous skysleds and skycycles and air cars thoughtfully provided for us by Harvey and Natasha.

Next thing I knew Rio and I were hugging each other for dear life in the back seat of a skysled while Kome broke every speed law on the planet! Neko Olson was as white as a yuyu (ghost) sitting bolt upright beside our maniacal driver! I need hardly mention that we covered the half a kilometre to the caverns in less than a minute.

We all saw that checking each cavern one by one was not going to be necessary after all. Hovering and soaring around Cavern #4 from the left of the ravine-like canyon was a dare I say it?- a Roman Catholic nun and she was at least fifty metres above the ground! Oh yeah and Rio quickly observed that she did not have the advantage of a jet pack on her back!

"Oh! Hi there, my friends! Let me finish touching up this one last section of the seal and I'll be right down. Don't go 'way." yelled the creature of the air down to us and even Neko was gaping at her open-mouthed.

A few moments later she landed beside us and accidentally tripped over her long habit. This caused her to lose her balance and the next thing we knew PLOP! Mr Solo and Mr Bluesummers were each a kawaii (lovely) shade of chartreuse! Rio, Angie, Suzy and I tried to wipe off the mess from both of our superiors but I am ashamed to say that both Miss Donovan and Miss O'Halloran burst out in loud guffaws of laughter!

Our new acquaintance's face was as red as the paint in the other bucket she was still clutching in her other hand. Finally both Han and Legato began laughing as well and assured our new pal that it was 'no big deal'- really. The Brigadier and Kome knew of a spring nearby and took both guys there to wash up. The pert wimpled nun still felt ashamed and toyed with her rosary beads and stared at the ground until we all assured her that accidents happen to the best of us.

"Right. I guess I'm not as bad as this planet's infamous 'Dirty Pair' huh?" she giggled and we quickly hustled her out of earshot of the Unholy Four! We soon discovered that her name was Sister Patricia of the Convent of Saint Patrick which was not far from these caverns.

"Call me Trish. Everyone else does. I guess you er want to know how it is that I can fly like a birdie without a jet pack or power wings huh? You see my weird looking old-fashioned cap on top of my wimple? The air currents come up underneath those 'wings' it has and up I go. The Reverend Mother thinks it's because I have been given a gift from Kami (God). I guess that's true but Sister Jake feels it's also because I only weigh 45 kilograms (about a hundred pounds) and so I'm light enough to float. Father Giuseppe has a long-winded scientific explanation too but all I know is I can fly." explained Sister Trish.

"All well and good and the saints be praised, Sister. However, that still does not explain why you are doing maintenance work on a Templar Knights seal on the side of a mountain. Nor does it explain why you are using green and red on a sacred symbol which is supposed to be coloured gold and silver." replied Angie who was after all the last of the Templars. Well that's oro (what) we thought anyhow!

"Mr C's favourite Terran football teams' colours are green and red- green for the Packers and red for the Bucs. Since he is a Templar Knight I was asked to fly out here and touch up the seal. He won't tell us oro is inside the cave below the seal but he did say he's guarding it for the Order. Well so long guys. I have to get back to St Pat's. It's my turn to cook dinner. Bye." said Sister Trish.

"Hold it! Who the devil is Mr C my dear?" demanded the Brigadier and the nun looked shocked.

"Mr C? Why he's Lord Castelain of course! Didn't I just tell you that he is the sole survivour of the Knights Templar? Everyone knows who he is. How is it that you don't, ma'am?" replied Trish. Angie stepped forward and swung her silver white cloak to one side allowing the young nun to see the Templar seal she wore around her neck.

"It is because I am Angela de Montmartre de Roncesvalles and I am the sole surviving Templar knight, my child." she said very quietly.

"But how can that be, ma'am? Mr C is from a faraway planet called Galley Fray and he's got the ancient scrolls from Terra and everything. They all say that he is the last of the Knights of the Holy Temple. He said that some big high council of time guys sent him here to guard the treasures in that cave. With all due respect, ma'am, you are no Templar." cried Sister Patricia.

Just then good old Doctor #4 the handsome guy with that cool scarf appeared from nowhere. Mr Ichigo says he must use the flash step and Mr Goku said he must be able to fly like the Saiyaans do. All I know is that he turns up when and where you least expect him. Beside him was little K-9 the data dog robot 'droid.

"Galley Fray? Are you sure that Mr C is not from the planet Gallifrey where he is one the High Council of Time Lords, Sister?" asked the tall time lord. All the confused girl could do was nod her head and the Doctor began to chuckle.

"So my old friend the Castelain is here eh? I had heard he had been sent to Shimougou on a special mission by Lord President Barusa but I'd no idea he was one of the nine original Knights of the Rosy Cross. We live and learn my dears. Well off you go now and tell the good Reverend Mother that the Doctor and his party will be calling upon her tomorrow. Now scoot." commanded the time lord in a voice that clearly meant there would be no arguments.

Trish touched the 'wings' of her headgear, leaped a foot into the air and soared up and up and up until she was lost from sight. The Doctor grinned and pointed at our skysleds.

"Do you have room for two more, Miss Angel? Myself and my dog? Let's return to the cabin and have some dinner or lunch or breakfast or whatever meal it is time to have, shall we? I will explain all after a hot meal. Then I believe we'd all best get a good night's rest. Tomorrow we must pay a call upon our neighbours at the convent I think. Come along K-9." said the time lord and his data doggie trundled along behind the tall fellow.

"One thing more. Angie, by now you have realized that you are not the last of the Templars, have you not? (Angie was looking as confused as Hell and so were the rest of us) All in good time. Last one to the cabin is an old humbug!" he called and he raced for the closest skysled- ours.

END of Chapter 14. Chapter 15 'The Doctor's Tale' or 'Mysteries Revealed' to follow very very soon. Happy St Patty's Day to all and Cead Mille Failte- a hundred thousand blessings- Edie.


	15. Ch15'TheDoctor'sTaleMysteriesRevealed'

TRUCKS IN SPACE

Chapter 15 'The Doctor's Tale' or 'Mysteries Revealed'

DISCLAIMER: We wanna thank Mr Takachiho for the use of his Angelic creations and all the other nice folks who are kind enough to allow us to use their creations. Any of our own stuff well anyone is welcome to use them so long as we get credit for them.

That day was the first time I had ever held a doggie on my lap even if it was a robotic one. K-9 wiggled his ears and wagged his tail while I stroked his back. I felt like a baka moron of course. Angie, Rio and Suzy were trying hard to keep from giggling but they failed miserably.

Doctor 4 was very uncomfortable sitting beside Natasha Ranee. You see a skysled is not made to accommodate frames of more than two metres in height. I too was rather uncomfortable as well. K-9 is no lightweight ya know?

"Over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house we go-" sang Rio merrily while Hansy and Grets looked at her like she was baka nuts! Of course that did not deter Miss DelCroix in the slightest.

"The horse driving the sleigh didn't know which way to go-" she added and Natasha turned around and glared at her.

"Whom are you calling a horse, Missy!" she stormed and the doctor grabbed the steering bar just before we hit a tree.

"Do keep your eyes on the road, Madam Ranee. I don't fancy using my next regeneration just yet." admonished the tall time lord and Natasha resumed her Hell bent for leather driving speed of around 200 miles per hour! Even Mr Solo was clinging to his seat for dear life. Mr Blue was busily engaged in reading about the Knights Templar on his PDO screen.

"Fancy that, guys. It says here that the Order of the Knights of the Holy Temple was founded in the Tenth Century on Terra with only nine guys. Now our little Angie here is all that's left of 'em. Pardon me, Doctor but didn't you mention something back there about she not being the sole remaining survivour of the Order?" asked Legato Bluesummers.

"Yes Mr Legato I did say that and all will be revealed if and when we ever get to the cabin. In one piece I trust, Madam?" chortled the long scarfed doctor. The Ranee seethed but bit her lip and said nothing. Suddenly she pointed a gloved forefinger at the sky.

"Look. Isn't that Sister Trish flying towards the cabin?" she asked and swerved to avoid driving off a cliff. Suzy squeezed her eyes shut and pursed her lips. Grets began intoning 'There's no place like home' as loud as she could while hugging her brother tightly.

With a shrill squeal of brakes the Ranee finally spun to a bone jarring halt a few metres short of the cabin's veranda.

"Last stop. All ashore that's going ashore." chortled Natasha and she nimbly leaped onto the porch. Then she tried the door and frowned.

"Who knows the door code?" she yelled and Han Solo wearily trudged up the steps to the door and punched a few keys. Then he shoved the door open and stood aside politely for the time lady to enter.

"After you, ma'am." he drawled and the Ranee strode past him to the fireplace and began building a fire. The rest of us wasted no time in departing the sleds and cycles and getting inside. It was damned bloody cold out and it was beginning to snow.

Sister Trish touched down lightly onto the veranda and followed us inside. Instead of paint pots and brushes she was toting a big book bound in iron and clasped with gold hinges. The symbol of the all seeing eye atop an unfinished pyramid decorated the book's cover.

"Mr C is walking over from the convent. He just refuses to fly with me and he won't use a Type 40 traveling box for such a short hop either. Here, Mr Doctor. This is for you, sir." said the flying sister and she handed the book to the time lord.

The rest of us bustled about getting dinner ready or lunch or whatever meal it was time for while the Ranee and the Master sat down by the fireside. I noticed for the first time that the book in the doctor's hands was padlocked. Instead of a keyhole though there was a small keypad like we have on our portals and doors. The doctor placed the book on the coffee table and began to warm his coat tails before the fire. Apparently he was not in a talkative mood so I went back to setting the table while Daisy Duke and Granny began to prepare the 'vittles' for us.

Dinner over we all trooped into the huge living room to hear what the time lord had to say. He held up the book.

"Do any of you happen to know the code that unlocks this thing?" he asked politely. We all stared at him with open mouths.

"I do not know too much but I can tell you this contains the history of Gallifrey and the time lords' original founders whom you know as the Order of the Knights of the Holy Temple commonly known as the Knights Templar. (Everyone was in shock) Contrary to popular belief the Knights did not originate on Terra in the Tenth Century. They began on Gallifrey several hundred thousand millenia ago. Of the nine who 'founded' the Terran Order back then only one remains. The leader was of course as you may have guessed Lord Rathelon. I do not recall whom any of the remaining eight were except for the one that remains on Gallifrey. He is known as the Castelain and is the same Mr C that Sister Patricia has told you is on his way over here as I speak.

"Sometime in the beginning of the very First Terran Century Lord Rathelon and his followers traveled to Terra aboard a Type 40 traveling ship. A Type 40 is more commonly known to you folks as a 'TARDIS' which is the standard mode of transport for all time lords and time ladies. It was then that they met Alexander of Macedonia more commonly known as Alexander the Great. He exhibited a keen interest in science although he referred to it as magic and after a lot of pleading on his part Lord Rathelon reluctantly agreed to teach him the secrets of time and space travel. Knowledge was paramount to this man and he resolved to save as much of it as he could for posterity.

"To this end he used the Type 40 loaned to him by the Castelain to transport the contents of the Great Library of Alexandria on Terra to a hiding place on a far distant planet. This is that same planet. A mere stone's throw from here in the Guildford Caverns of these Girol Mountains he secreted away most of his booty, mostly parchments, vellums, scrolls and books. The remainder he hid away in another place lightyears from here. To hold it all he built an exact duplicate of the Great Pyramid of Egypt on ancient Terra. (We all stared at him open-mouthed) Yes, you are quite correct in your assumptions. That pyramid is the same one that Admiral Zero's party found a few years ago and which the Marshall (Kei O'Halloran) had brought back here to the Takachiho Academy on Shimougou.

"Now back to my original query. Does anyone know the code needed to open this tome? The Castelain was never told but Lord Rathelon did tell his son and it has been passed down from generation to generation to his remaining survivour. That is you, Angela Marie Theresa Bridgitta de Montmartre de Roncesvalles." finished the time lord and he turned to Angie.

"Uncle Giles did teach me a rhyme when I was little but I just thought of it as a lullaby. I don't even know if I remember all of it or not. Could that possibly be the code you mean, Doctor?" asked a bewildered redhead. The time lord nodded.

"That is exactly what it is, young lady. The key to unlocking the Great Book of the Templars. Without that book we do not dare to enter the cavern of Alexander. The young fool booby-trapped the whole kit and kaboodle!" said a newcomer.

He was tall and gaunt and wrapped in a deep black cloak and he had just entered the warm cabin. He closed the portal behind him and flipped back his hood.

"Uncle Giles? But I thought-" stammered Angie when he shushed her with a hand gesture to be silent.

"No, my dear child, I am not your uncle who was foully slain by that dog of a pirate Khan. I admit that there is a strong family resemblance but that is to be expected as I am your paternal ancestour , my dear. Do you remember any of the ancient litany at all?" he asked and Angie closed her eyes and began to recite from memory.

"Travel ye to where ye have been. Come to the shadow on the night of Alkara. I command ye in the name of the Great Rathelon to admit me to thy darkest secrets. Shahalabadaz." she said and then opened her eyes again.

The Doctor was speedily tapping keys on the book's keypad. When he had finished the book remained locked! He glanced at the redhead.

"Oh I forgot the last part. 'Now must ye intone the Word of Power and Might.' Uncle Giles said that the rest of it was a message and must be written down to work but the last part has to be spoken by me. Sorry about that." apologized the girl.

The time lord set the book down on the coffee table and motioned for Angie to come over to it.

"I don't know the word, sirs. Sorry." she said sadly.

"I do and so do the rest of you. You have heard it a thousand times, I'll warrant. What does a magician say when he performs a feat of ledgerdemain?" chuckled the Castelain.

"Abracadabra of course." replied Sister Trish triumphantly.

"Bravo! Well said!" shouted Mr C and he pointed to Angie.

"Abracadabra." shouted the lieutenant and the room shook. The padlock exploded and the book leaped open like the ancient Necronomicon I'd read about in Mr Lovecraft's tales of the Great Old Ones. The doctor eagerly reached for the book and did something very uncharacteristic of the him.

"Shit! It's in Namecian! We'll need Piccolo or Dende to read it for us!" he yelled angrily referring of course to our friends who had assisted us in retrieving those golden balls so many times so we could summon those two dragons that granted wishes- Shenron of Terra and Porunga of Namec. Mr C sat down heavily and passed out cold!

We quickly revived him with liberal doses of Romulan Ale. The doctor asked us where Bulma and Goku and Vegeta were. Their hearts sank when they were informed that they and the Lady Foucault (Bulma's time ship) were off hunting Dragon Balls!

END of Chapter 15. Chapter 16 'Have TARDIS, Will Travel' or 'Trish Goes On Holiday' coming soon. Happy Easter to all- Shinny.


	16. Ch16HaveTARDISWill TravelTrishGoesOnHol

TRUCKS IN SPACE

Chapter 16 'Have TARDIS, Will Travel' or 'Trish Goes On Holiday'

DISCLAIMER: We wanna thank Mr Takachiho for the use of his Angelic creations and all the other nice folks who are kind enough to allow us to use their creations. Any of our own stuff well anyone is welcome to use them so long as we get credit for them.

Hiya! It's still your old pal Edna Jordan here telling this tale. Well as I was saying in Chapter 15- seems that the big old book that the Doctor had brought over for us from his TARDIS was written in Namecian so we would need a guy or gal from Namec to read the darn thing for us! Right?

The two big Saayans Goku Son and Vegeta Brief were with the latter's wife Bulma aboard her time ship the 'Lady Foucault' and they were engaged in their favourite pasttime- hunting golden DragonBalls! So all was lost- right? Wrong-o!

Suddenly Doctor 4 pointed to me of all people! Then I saw he meant K-9 his data doggie who was still sitting on my lap.

"K-9, can you translate ancient Namecian for us like a good dog?" he asked and K-9 wagged his tail and wiggled his ears.

"Of course, Master. I have been programmed to understand, translate, speak and write the languages from several million planets and dozens of galaxies. I am perfectly fluent in Azerbian; Abalonian; Abyssinian; Axel-" The Doctor cut him off in mid spiel thank Kami. Then he placed the open book on the floor and asked me to hold K-9 over it so he could read it for us.

He was a real little butterball and weighed at least thirty kilograms and I quickly placed him upright on the floor with the book easily accessible by him. Luna and Artemis the two soldier sailor scout neko (cats) immediately claimed my vacated lap. K-9 began to read out the translated text most of which was as boring as Hell until he got to the part about the cavern's booby traps!

"Enter the cavern using the symbol of the Grand Master and stray ye not from its course lest evil befall ye. Seek for a sign left there by the Macedonian. Follow in his footsteps and deviate not from the true path. Find ye Pharos and it will guide ye to the place of the sun. Wealth upon wealth awaits he who solves the riddle of ancient Egypt. May the cherubs speed ye on your quest. Beware the Light and the Griffin." intoned K-9 solemnly.

"Master both Light and Griffin are written in letters of flame. Will there be anything else, Master?" added the data doggie and the Doctor shook his head nai (no).

"Nai K-9. Nothing more, thank you." yawned the time lord.

"Quite straightforward, isn't it? Since the symbol is set dead centre above the portal we must enter single file and keep single file down the exact centre of the cavern's main corridor. The Macedonian is Alexander the Great and his sign was the all seeing eye. His footsteps will be a maze of symbols probably letters and we must spell out whatever the path indicates. Pharos was an ancient Terran lighthouse and its light will be our guide. The riddle is the one set by the Sphinx whose answer is Man who goes on 4 then 2 then 3 legs throughout his lifetime. The last is puzzling but must mean that Angelic symbols like art, statues or some such are set out in the treasure room and if we don't follow them we will be sorry. I admit the Light and Griffin make no sense at all. Mean anything to you, Angie?" said the Brigadier Marlene Angel but Angie too was stumped.

"In 'Duel Monsters' the half lion, half dragon thing guards the top of the pyramid and that gives off a bright light. Could this be something like that, mum?" asked Rio DelCroix timidly.

"Just like a female to get everything all fouled up, right Flash?" chuckled Hazard County's Sheriff Roscoe P Coltrane and his doggie howled mournfully in reply.

"You don't know scratch about video games, Roscoe! Miss Rio may just be right about that light and griffin stuff!" bristled Daisy Duke angrily. I was shocked because in the 23rd Century we women had long had equal rights with men. In fact it was part of the UG/3WA's intergalactic laws. Then I remembered that the sheriff, his deputy, Mr Boss Hogg, the Dukes and Flash were all from the 20th or 21st Century on Terra so I bit my tongue and kept silent.

"May I suggest that we all get a good night's sleep and tackle this problem tomorrow? I don't think that we should enter that cavern unprepared. Don't you agree, Natasha?" asked the Master and the Ranee nodded as did the Doctor.

"Better to be safe than sorry, Harvey. I claim the main floor back bedroom for me and Suzy. G'Night." replied the time lady.

Angie and I got the loft above the main room and Rio curled up by the big fireplace beside Ed and Ein the data doggie. K-9 had plugged himself into Nammo to recharge while the other Nammo was running a diagnostics check on the vehicles. The Mugghi twins were sprawled against the front and rear portals of the cabin. The rest of our party had grabbed off all the other rooms.

The Castelein and the Doctor were discussing tomorrow's journey to the caverns at the dining room table. Under the table Sister Trish and Daisy Duke were curled up sound asleep after trying to outdrink each other and Legato. Guess who won?

The Master opted to return to his TARDIS and Mr Destiny decided to accompany him. Grets and Hansy were having a late night snack in the cabin's huge kitchen. Our fearless leader and her partner had long since grabbed off the master bedroom and retired there with Kome and the Brigadier. The alchemists had all been banished to the back veranda to practice their arts.

Unlike the front veranda the rear one was like a patio only it was roofed over and enclosed in transparent Kelvinite. The pirates and cowboys were using the garage beside the cabin and I forget where the other time lords had gotten off to- sorry.

At 0300 the Doctor and the Castelein chose two reclining armshairs and called it a night. The alchemist brood followed suit on the patio. Sleep descended on all of us until 0430 when I was jolted awake by a loud pounding on our front portal! Angie sleeps as lightly as a neko (cat) and was instantly wide awake.

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and whispered to Angie that someone was at the door. She nodded and slipped into a kimono, not forgetting to slide her Mark XII into her pocket. Igniting her laser sword she and I crept downstairs. While she trained her Mark on the door I carefully manipulated the doorcode keypad and the portal swished aside.

"Hullo there ladies. I apologize for the early call but I seem to be lost. I'm an archaeologist and I have been searching for some caves around here that will prove that a certain ancient Terran king arrived here on Shimougou many centuries ago. Beg pardon but where are my manners? Sir Hiram MacDougal from Kagura at your service. Might I come inside? It's beastly cold out here and my skysled's heater's on the fritz." Our visitor was a tall and very distinguished looking gentleman of some 60 years of age. He had a slick mustache and a full beard. When he doffed his Bushwhacker hat we saw that his head of hair matched his facial hair in colour. Both were snow white. His merry blue eyes reminded me of Old St Nick!

I stood aside and he came into our parlour. He accepted a repped cup of hot cocoa but refused any further stimulants. By this time most of the household had awakened and were crowding around the dining room table to ply him with questions. The poor guy could hardly enjoy his cheesesteak, fries, onion rings, banana cream pie and cocoa. Finally Admiral Donovan sent the rest of the house back to bed and those of us that were left sat down to listen to the most amazing story we had ever heard!

END of Chapter 16. Chapter 17 'A Most Amazing Tale Is Told' or 'Alexander's Folly' to follow soon- Shinny.


	17. Ch17'AMostAmazingTaleIsToldAl exander's

TRUCKS IN SPACE

Chapter 17 'A Most Amazing Tale Is Told' or 'Alexander's Folly'

DISCLAIMER: As always we wanna thank all the nice folks who are allowing us to use their creations. We also wanna say that anyone who wishes can use our creations so long as we are credited as their creators. Now let's sit back, relax and allow our new visitor Sir Hiram MacDougal from the Kaguran Museum of Ancient Antiquities to tell us his amazing tale!

Sir Hiram or 'Hi' as he requested us to call him finished his cocoa, accepted a slug of Skotch from Angie and began to speak.

Many millenia ago one of the Gallifreyan time lords known as The Castelein was traveling around the Universes in his TARDIS when he was unaccountably drawn off course! He was forced to make an emergency landing on ancient Terra in an area of the Middle East known as Palmyra last I heard but at that time in Terran history- the time of the Great Crusade in the 9th or 10th Century- it was known as the Holy Land.

"In the process of landing his Type 40 'castle' he managed to damage his ship's exhilaration circuitry meaning that he was stuck there until he found a replacement for it. Realizing it might be hundreds of solar years before this happened he realized he must 'blend in' with this very primitive culture. As luck would have it several horsemen in ancient armour and mail arrived at his 'castle' one fine day a few years after he had been marooned.

"These knights of the rosy cross or knights of the holy temple had only recently founded a most unusual order. The group's mission was to protect a holy place in some city called Jerusalem in the Holy Land. The eight visitors were tired from their arduous journey and The Castelein who had adopted for himself the name Giles de Montmartre, Viscount of Saurondale of course invited them to stay with him.

"There was no chance of their not seeing that the 'castle' was a building on the exterior only because TARDISes are larger on the inside than they are on the outside owing to their existing in more than one dimension. They were quite impressed with the Type 40 and begged their host to teach them all about this technology and other knowledge to which he readily agreed. Soon the eight knights were quite fluent in all sorts of languages, knew all about technologies eons beyond their own time and wonder of wonders seemed already very learned in the arts of alchemy and alkahestry which surprised the time lord to no end.

"One day the knight he knew as Benevere Douglas the Duke of Holdernesse came into the time lord's study all aglow with excitement. It seemed that Benevere had solved The Castelein's exhilaration circuitry problems. He had found a workable substitute for Kelvinite. It was an element he called 'bauxite' which when its ore was smelted properly produced a light and thin substance of tremendous strength which he called 'aluminum' and he handed a piece of it to the time lord.

"The Castelein was ecstatic and overjoyed. The stuff even resembled Kelvinite in many aspects but of course although thin and pliable it was not transparent or even translucent. However, it would suit his purposes very well indeed. The next few months were spent in repairing the TARDIS's circuits. When the ship was once again ready to travel all eight of his eager students were adamant in their desire to travel the Universes with him and to visit Gallifrey.

"After much cajoling and pleading their teacher reluctantly agreed but before they could leave a marvelous thing happened. Another time traveler arrived from First Century Terra in a home made contraption resembling a chariot! The newcomer introduced himself as the King of Macedonia. History, however, knew him as Alexander the Great. At the tender age of sixteen he had already conquered all of the known world of Terra at that time and he had become bored.

"A few of his friends most notably Ptolemy had joined him in his palce's workshop and they had tinkered around until one day they had created a machine to travel the heavens and the fourth dimension as well- time itself! Once the machine was finished all of his scientific friends had gotten cold feet and refused to test it with him. In fact Pythagoras the mathematician insisted that to use the thing would be inviting the wrath of the gods.

"Alexander was determined and when none would volunteer to go with him he went himself. After tearing across the cosmos for several hours he decided to land and he came down several hundred years after his own time. He was fascinated by the Type 40 and determined that it was just the thing to transport the contents of his great library in Alexandria in Egypt. The long and the short of it was that when the TARDIS made its first voyage since repairs had been completed their first stop had been Egypt where the entire Library of Alexandria had been tractored aboard The Castelein's ship.

"These facts I have ascertained from certain scrolls that were found three centuries ago but were only translated a few years ago. They mention a glowing planet several hundred lightyears from the Terran solar system's 'red planet' albeit this particular world is not in the same system or indeed the same galaxy as Terra. I was very excited when I finally realized that the 'red planet' referred to was Mars meaning the 'glowing planet' must be Shimougou. I came here and reasoned that Alexander would want to hide his treasures away in an area not so easily found and if found not so easily reached.

"On this planet, ladies and gentlemen, the only really dangerous terrain is found in these high Girol Mountains hence my presence on your doorstep this morning. I am certain that 'Alexander's Folly' as my colleagues have dubbed this 'fantasy' treasure house is quite close. I can almost taste it, I swear I can! Well that's the story and I swear it's true- every word of it but I don't blame any of you if you don't believe me. By the way just what is the 3WA doing way out here? If it's secret stuff then just tell this old fool to mind his own business. Now if you don't mind I think I'll grab some sacktime. That chair by the fire next to the older gentlemen will do me nicely. G'Night and thank you for your hospitality."

Hi had at long last finished his narrative and it had floored us! Here this guy had accomplished in reading one measly manuscript the same thing we had been gallivanting around the cosmos to find out for the last few oro (what) was it- weeks, months, years? Angie reasoned that Hi's scrolls might even hold some clues to the pitfalls and booby traps which surely awaited us ready to trap the unwary if they attempted to penetrate the cavern.

The old archaeologist had taken the chair beside the sleeping time lord who according to him anyway had helped to establish the divine order that until recently Angie had thought herself to be the sole surviving descendant! The jigoku with it! I was tired and I wasted no time in getting back to sleep. It was close to 0600 hours but Natasha had said we would not be entering the caverns before noon. Why she did not tell us. Well G'Night guys. See ya in Chapter 18- Edie.

END of Chapter 17. Chapter 18 'Trish Finds A Clue' or 'Dark Caverns' coming soon.


	18. Ch18 'Trish Finds A Clue'Dark Caverns'

TRUCKS IN SPACE

Chapter 18 'Trish Finds A Clue' or 'Dark Caverns'

DISCLAIMER: As always we wanna thank all the nice folks who are allowing us to use their creations. We also wanna say that anyone who wishes can use our creations so long as we are credited as their creators. Now let's sit back, relax and allow our new visitor Sir Hiram MacDougal from the Kaguran Museum of Ancient Antiquities to tell us his amazing tale! Oh nai that was last chapter, wasn't it? Guess I'm still sleepy. Anyway it's 1300 hours that's an hour after lunchtime for you non military and non 3WA copper folks.

We are in our convoy of skysleds, air cars and skycycles heading for the caverns. Sister Trish wanted to fly but earlier in the morning it had begun to snow and soon it had become a full blown blizzard so she had reluctantly agreed to ride in a skysled. Seated beside her in the third row of seats was Sir Hiram MacDougal sorry Hi was what he had told us to call him. I was squeezed in beside her and just in front of us were Rio, Suzy and Han Solo. In the front seats were Miss Donovan, Zoe Morton and Legato Bluesummers who was driving us.

Hi had a vidmap of the territory and he was staring at it very intently. Of course bigmouth Rio DelCroix had to ask him what was so 'damned interesting on a crummy map' and of course we didn't like the answer one little bit! Hi explained to us that an old pal of his had sunk a small fortune into a search for a Kelvinite mine in the same area of the caverns and it had caved in causing a rockslide which had sealed the entrance. Now Hi was worried that the caverns were too dangerous for us to enter and Blue and Han agreed with him.

However, The Master and The Ranee as well as Johnny Berringer felt he was creating a 'storm in a teacup' and they had decided we were going to enter the cavern whether we liked it or not. Not so Miss Donovan and the two Brigadiers!

"The Hell we are!" they chorused together. Miss O'Halloran and Kome were both sound asleep in the boot of Mar's air car and mercifully did not wake up until we had reached the caverns.

"Do not argue my dear ladies. You are going to go inside the caverns and that is all there is to that. Oh do awaken Pinkie and Reds someone please. Everyone out and check your gear. Five minutes please." commanded Harvey Master.

"Yeah. Rise and shine sleepyheads! Let's get this damned show on the road already!" yelled Natasha Ranee and she booted Kome in the derriere so hard that she fell out of the sled! Pinkie's howls soon woke up Miss O'Halloran who promptly boxed Rio's ears thinking she was the loudmouth. Finally after some repped up lunch- Five minutes? Who was harvey kidding?- we all assembled at the entry to the middle cavern directly below the Templar symbol.

"Do we match coins, draw cards or straws to see who gets to go in first?" chortled Legato Bluesummers but nobody seemed to be amused in the least.

"Guess we may as well do it Reds. C'mon girlie." drawled Han Solo and he shoved Miss O in front of him towards the cavern's entryway.

"After you, Mr Solo." she replied and pushed him ahead of her into the dark opening. Then a very strange thing happened. A roaring booming voice shouted at us!

"Enter if ye be of stout heart. Keep ye to the true path and deviate ye not from it lest ye suffer thy doom. Remember ye and yield thyself not to enter into temptation for it shall lead to thy destruction. Let truth, honour and devotion be thy guideposts along thy lofty ways. May the Great One receive ye with kindness. Go with the blessings of almighty God."

The voice ceased as abruptly as it had begun.

"Seem familiar Reds? Like we heard all of that palaver before somewhere?" drawled Han and the redheaded Amazon nodded.

Angie looked green in the gills and Miss Donovan didn't look much better. Rio whispered to me that most of the rest of our party had heard just such a voice in the faroff caverns where they had discovered the great unfinished pyramid which was on display back at the Academy on the esplanade green. Gee whiz! Was I the only dummy along for this ride or what?

Han stuck out his hand and snapped his fingers. Obediently Angie stuck the ancient star map scrolls into his upturned palm. The wily rogue carefully deciphered the mystic runes upon the first scroll and turned to the rest of us.

"Listen up and pay attention for your very lives depend upon your following my orders completely. We must walk down the exact centre of this main hallway until we reach its end. That means single file and you step only where me and Reds step. Understand? Move one millimetre off centre and you can kiss your keester au revoir, got it? (We all nodded and Trish adjusted her convent cap carefully) And no flying, Sister. That's all we'd need is to have you flying up there and setting off some airborne booby traps. Everyone all set? OK follow me folks." drawled the big guy and off we went to find the wizard or whatever the oni (devil) we were looking for inside the caverns.

Trish really didn't mean to fly but like she apologized to us later when the wind is right- to make a long story a lot shorter folks there was an updraft blowing through from inside the cavern and when that hit Trish's weird-o nun cap (Sorry but I have no idea what they call the darn thing) up she went!

"Dammit Sister! Didn't I just get through tellin' you no flyin'? Get yer keester back down here and I mean now, kiddo!" shouted Han Solo angrily.

"It wasn't my fault, sir! The updraft got me. Hey! Looky what I found!" shouted Trish excitedly. Angie trained her laser sword blade upwards and illuminated the roof of the cavern. Carved above us was an old-fashioned nun kneeling in prayer! Cute but nothing to get all het up over, right? Then I saw why Trish was so ecstatic over her find.

The nun's right hand was raised and seemed to be pointing at something. That something was the right hand tunnel opening of a group of three corridors where the main passage ended. Rio, Suzy and Angie all noticed it at the same time and shouted a collective 'Holy shit!' which caused poor Trish to blush. She quickly landed beside us and rubbed her tummy.

"Language ladies." she yawned and asked us when luncheon was to be served. It was 1400 in the afternoon and we had only stopped for an after lunch snack at 1330! I thought nuns were supposed to practice moderation or fast or something? Not our Sister Patricia it seemed. Our trusty Brigadier to the rescue with energy candy bars for all of us. Legato had brough hot java but none of us kids were allowed to have any of it because he'd made it especially for Miss O if you get my drift.

However, Natasha Ranee had thought of the rest of us and had prepared plain java while Harvey Master had thoughtfully brought along a few six-packs of root beer so we all stopped and sat down to eat. It was bitterly cold but a fire was out of the question in a cave. Miss Angel our Brig saved the day again by using her laser sword to heat up stones that the guys had spread around in the shape of a small cairn. It gave off more than enough heat for us. In fact Rio had to take her jacket off it got so hot.

Blue, Han and Sir Hiram were studying the sister indicated passageway very intensely and referred to their scrolls almost constantly until finally Blue and Han admitted defeat.

"Dammit! I sure as jigoku can't find any kind of booby traps guardin' that thing, Blue, can you?" drawled Mr Solo but Legato Bluesummers shook his head in despair.

"Nope. Nothing at all, Han. How about you, Hi?" replied Blue. Hi MacDougal merely chuckled and pointed at the scrolls in his fist.

"Tell me, how does a true devotee of any religion show their abeyance to their god or gods? How do they pay them the highest form of homage?" he asked and received blank stares in return.

"Pilgrims crawled on their guts all the way to Mecca to worship their Allah god, sir. Is that what you meant, Your Eminence?" replied Sister Trish quietly and the old boy beamed with satisfaction.

"Good girl, Sister. That is it exactly. From my studies I already knew that the Templars had used kneeling, the footsteps of God and a test of courage to protect their mighty pyramid that Marshall O'Halloran is going to be kind enough to guide me through once we return to her Academy (The Boss Lady dropped her mug of doctored java. Apparently she had not yet been made aware of this promise).

"I knew that the Templars never ever use the exact same guardian method so I had to think again. The voice told us to beware of temptation and the obvious temptation would be to go forward blindly so that was out. The voice told us to use as our lofty guideposts truth, honour and devotion but the carved nun is pointing with her right hand. Everyone knows that in the time of the Terran Templars that the clergy were all left handed.

"Therefore it should be obvious even to a blind schoolboy that the voice is telling us to reverse the order. Doing so we have devotion, honour and truth. If one does not kneel the only other way he or she can show true devotion is with the prone position or like the good sister has observed by crawling on their guts which is exactly how we will enter this unknown passageway. May I suggest we rest awhile and then proceed. I'd like to study those scrolls some more so may we dally here until four? I beg your pardon, 1600 hours I believe you would say? A good hearty dinner would not come amiss after a nap either. What do you say to these suggestions, my dear Brigadier?" said Sir Hiram, our archaeological guide.

"Fine with me but I am not in charge, Hi. Ask Harvey and Natasha." replied Marlene Angel in acid tones which were not lost on the Ranee and the Master.

"Excellent suggestions, my dear sir. Make it so, ladies and gentlemen. A short sojourn, a sumptuous dinner and then we shall press on at five er 1700 I mean. Come with me, Natasha. I have some matters to discuss with you before we leave." replied Harvet better known as The Master, the rogue time lord from faroff Gallifrey.

The Brigadier looked icy daggers at them both but said nothing. She unlimbered her back pack and handed me a portable replicator. She continued to stare balefully at the backs of our host and hostess.

END of Chapter 18. Chapter 19 'Broadsword vs Lasersword' or 'What Is Truth?' coming soon. Have a great weekend and see ya soon. Enjoy the gorgeous sunshine folks!- Shinny.


	19. Ch19'BroadswordvsLaserswordWh atIsTruth?

TRUCKS IN SPACE

Chapter 19 'Broadsword vs Lasersword' or 'What Is Truth?'

DISCLAIMER: As always we wanna thank all the nice folks who are allowing us to use their creations. We also wanna say that anyone who wishes can use our creations so long as we are credited as their creators. Dinnertime at 1600 hours. Man, it seems like we are always stuffing ourselves, doesn't it? Anyway we have entered the dreaded cavern in the Girol Mountains and we are following a deciphered runic message on the scrolls as well as the Voice of Doom to give the name that Rio has hung on that booming voice that filled the cavern the instant Mr Solo has set foot inside the entrance. This is the gist of what the voice told us:

"Enter if ye be of stout heart. Keep ye to the true path and deviate ye not from it lest ye suffer thy doom. Remember ye and yield thyself not to enter into temptation for it shall lead to thy destruction. Let truth, honour and devotion be thy guideposts along thy lofty ways. May the Great One receive ye with kindness. Go with the blessings of Almighty God."

Sister Trish found us the first clue when she accidentally flew up and found the praying nun pointing out the way. The nun was carved into the ceiling of the cavern. That led us to the right hand tunnel ahead of us and Rio of course volunteered to lead the charge. Mr Solo and Blue collared her though because there just had to be booby traps! Then those two gentlemen and Sir Hiram MacDougal had a conflab the result of which was a halt for a rest and dinner before we tackled the tunnel.

In the meantime somehow or other Hi showed us that the order of the voice's warnings about devotion, honour and truth had been reversed. That led Mr Solo to the conclusion that a religious devotee must assume a prone position and crawl on his tummy like an ancient Terran GI to show he has humbled himself before his god or gods. All that stuff bored most of us and when Miss Donovan noticed that the Dukes, Roscoe, Enos and Boss Hogg were nodding off, she requested a halt for a rest which we all seconded.

Of course it wasn't up to Miss D, Blondie the Brigadier or even Miss O, the Boss Lady herself! Mr Harvey Master and Ms Natasha Ranee were running this show. Happily they both agreed and Harvey announced that we would depart after dinner which we'd have at 1600 or 1700 hours, 4 or 5 of the clock in the afternoon. Personally after our interrupted slumbers of the night before we all hoped that the rogue time lord would delay our continuation until 1900 hours, seven PM at least! We got our wish.

Dinner was served at 1600 hours after Rio, Angie, Suzy, Miss D, Daisy Duke and I had repped it up and Natasha had made the beverages for us and Mr Solo had surprised all of us by repping up something he called Genuine Boston Cream Pie for dessert and was that ever yummy!

Harvey stood up and announced that since we had had so much excitement the last few days he had decided we would be camping here for the night and would not be going on until 0800 tomorrow or eight AM in the morning. We all cheered the house down except for Hi, Blue and Han who were still trying to figure out how dangerous tomorrow's crawl was going to be for us. Rio asked Mr Solo about the similar booby trap inside the pyramid that Zach Zero and company had found recently.

"Mr Solo? What would have happened to you if you had not remembered that a penintent man kneels when you were in that pyramid?" Rio had wanted to know. Mr Solo just grinned.

"You don't want to know, sweetheart. Trust me on that, love." replied Mr Legato Bluesummers and he accepted a refill for his pewter stein. I dunno what he was drinking exactly but it sure smelled strong to us.

Oh yeah I did find out from 'Artok' our portable 'CC' computer program that Sister Trish's wide angled nun's cap is called a cornet and that the 'wings' of the thing create the lifting power she uses with any updraft winds to literally fly like a birdie. Just thought ya might wanna know that folks.

At last the inevitable happened. Dinner became an Animal House free for all donnybrook! I still dunno who it was that first started it but I have my suspicions that it was either the big hanyou InuYasha, that darn wolf youkai demon Kouga or that bratty Ninja kid Naruto. Rio said it was all three of 'em. Mr Kakashi Sensei and Mr Sesshomaru stood up with Harvey Master and called for order.

"Please remember that you are all ladies and gentlemen! Cease this senseless bickering at once!" shouted InuYasha's older brother Mr Sess.

"Indeed! I have never seen such disgraceful behaviour!" cried Harvey Master. Apparently he had forgotten his sojourns on the 'Lovely Angel 2' where this was the norm!

"I order all of you to cease and desist this very instant!" yelled a usually calm, cool and collected Ninja Jonin. It quieted down for a second or two and then everyone began bombarding the trio with everything in sight! Sir Hi, Mr Blue and Mr Solo laughed so hard they fell off their chairs! She who WILL be obeyed was definitely NOT amused in the least! KA-ZAAM! POW!

"All of ya sit down and shut the Hell up! And I mean now dammit!" roared our fearless leader who had leaped atop the nearest table and fired her Mark XIII into the ceiling! Suddenly we heard a loud rumbling sound in the distance and everyone dove for cover except Trish and Rio. They began running all over the place like chickens with their heads chopped off! WHAM-O!

Down they went like pole-axed steers when Mr Blue and Mr Solo decked each of them with a crisp right cross to the jaw. The rumblings got much louder and Harvey grabbed Natasha Ranee and dove into the right passageway's mouth before we could stop him! WHOOSH!

The air was cleaved by a gigantic blade at about head height! Miss O and Miss D had instantly galvanized into action a nanosecond before the blade had activated and had driven Harvey and Natasha to the ground just inches below the deadly steel! Mr Blue, Hi and Mr Solo had grabbed the trailing trip rope and lashed its end to a stalagmite locking the blade to the wall.

The rumblings which we had forgotten during the emergency redoubled in volume. The plucky trio grabbed our fearless leader and the violet-maned vixen along with the rogue time lord and lady and dashed into the opening at full speed.

"Run! Run for your lives dammit!" howled the ex-smuggler over his shoulder and the rest of us grabbed our rucksacks and fled after them as fast as we could pelt. We had forgotten all about the dangers and booby traps. As it was we reached the end of the tunnel safely just nanoseconds before the massive cave-in struck. Lanterns, flashlights and laser swords were quickly ignited and we sat down to consider our position. Rio, Rin and Ed began bawling until Mr Spike Steagel clouted them on the ears.

"You brats pipe down! Ain't we in enough damned trouble?!" growled Mr Jett Black whose brawny metal arm and Ed Elric's automail arm were staving up the roof of the rock passage. Hi pointed to a spot halfway up the end wall some 20 metres above us. In the beam of the torches and blades it looked like another cave entrance. Mr Solo beckoned to a groggy nun who soon recovered her composure and ran up to us.

"Yes, sir?" she asked politely and I had a feeling she knew what was coming next.

"That's about 20 or 30 metres up, Trish. Think ya can fly up there and check it out, kid?" drawled Mr Solo. Trish bit her lip and nodded.

"Then up ya go, kid. Be careful and here. (He tossed her a rope line) Make this fast to a stalagmite up there if ya can." said Hi and off se went. Grasping the brim of the right side of her white and green coronet Trish jumped into the air and just kept going up and up and up until she had at last reached the cave. Securing the rope was the work of a few minutes and then she stuck her head out of the darkness and dropped the line to us. Mr Bluesummers caught it and then me!

He swiftly looped the line around my waist and (ahem) pelvic area. I protested until the Boss Lady told me to shut the Hell up, stop whining and get on with it dammit! Then I remembered that my jet wings and boots were on the other side of the cave-in as were everyone else's! One of the first things we'd been taught at the Academy was rock climbing but never in absolute darkness!

However, orders are orders so I grabbed the line in my gloved hands and began to climb up the wall which turned out to be wet and very slippery. It took an age to get up there but later on the Brig told me it had taken me only ten minutes to reach the plateau more than 30 metres up. Next came Rio, then Angie, Suzy and the rest of them. Last one up was our esteemed fearless leader who did not trust our treasure hunting host and hostess in the slightest with good reason as it turned out but that to quote Osric in Conan is another tale.

The next clue was 'honour' and that was a puzzler until InuYasha remembered Kagome had read them some old book about knights called 'Idle Kings' by a guy from Tennessee. Actually the book had been 'Idylls of the King' by Alred Lord Tennyson but the big guy was a bit slow in the head ya know? Anyway he said that the greatest tribute ever paid to a guy back then was when the king or lord guy hit 'em with a sword and called em Sir Somebody or other. We would call it 'dubbing' of course.

That gave Sir Hiram a brainstorm and he asked if he could please borrow Zangetsu from Mr Kurosaki who was something called a soul reaper kid. He reluctantly handed over the biggest and baddest sword I had ever seen in my life! Zangetsu could have easily brought down a knight and his charger steed as well in one fell swoop.

"Be careful with Zangetsu, old man. That sure as Hell ain't no ordinary sword ya know! Try not to scratch it or I'll have to make Rukie polish it all over again!" grumbled Ichigo Kurosaki. Little Rukia Kutschski kicked him in the shins for that last remark.

Sir Hi then asked for a torch and I tossed him my laser sword hilt which he ignited after banging it on the rocky floor a few times. Rio whispered to me something about why one should never a borrower or a lender be and I smiled at her. She is such a goof.

The old prospector archaeologist trained the blade's beam upwards and with Trish's help he soon found what he'd been seeking. It was a small opening in the ceiling and when he shoved Zangetsu's tip into it the blade fit like it a glove, almost as if it had been made for that sword. Suddenly the walls shook and that same sonourous voice boomed out:

"Speaketh thou only the truth for the truth be with God and the truth is God! Hearken to me thou fellow seekers of enlightenment and knowledge everlasting! Speaketh ye the right word and live but speaketh ye the wrong word and die! May the blessings of the Almighty God guideth thy choice!"

There came to our ears a heavy rumbling as if a gate was being lowered like a portcullis. The next thing we knew in front of us where a moment before had been a blank rock wall there was now a huge iron door! The combined weight of all of our big guys including Mr Jefferson Davis Hogg did not budge it a millimetre! Rio to the rescue, sorta.

"Let's just yell words at it and we're bound to hit on the one that works. Like Aladdin done with 'Openh Sez Me' in the 'Dark Knight' ya know? Let's see now-" she suggested before Angie slapped a gloved hand across her big mouth.

"No! The voice said we must speak the right word and only the right word. To say the wrong word will kill us all. We must think. We must rationate. We must rationalize. We must-" lectured Sir Hiram MacDougal.

"We must use words the rest of us dumbasses can understand dammit!" seethed the redheaded firebrand Hellcat who was getting sick and tired of playing 'Treasure Island in the Girols'.

"Simple folks. We must find the right word and- dammit all! Can it be that damned easy? The voice has given us the word. Don't ya see? Speak the 'right' word and live but choose the 'wrong' word and die. Right, the word is right, r-i-g-h-t, right, get it?" shouted Mr Han Solo very excitedly while pounding his right fist into his left palm. Then it hit us at last.

"Right!" yelled Miss Rio DelCroix who had bitten Angie's hand to get free of her. Angie had jumped and winced at the sudden pain and had released Rio.

"Correct my friends. Ye hath chosen wisely indeed. Enter but bewareth ye of temptation for God sayeth leadeth us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. Ye hath cometh far but more remaineth to be completed before ye can reacheth joy, knowledge and enlightenment. Go ye with Almight God and with our blessings eternal."

"That voice is gettin' on my nerves and it's scarin' the crap outta me!" shouted Miss Daisy Duke.

"Yeah! It sure gives me the heebie jeebies alright!" agreed Miss Kagome Higurashi who was immediately teased by her big hanyou half youkai dog demon/half human teenaged boy until-

"Sit boy!" she cried and the big guy crashed to the floor face first.

"Damn you wench! I was just funnin' ya was all dammit!" sulked a sullen InuYasha. Sir Hi, Mr Blue and Mr Solo helped him back to his feet. Rio had strode forward and was about to pass over the door's threshold when-

"NO! In the name of Kami if you value your life girl do not take another step!" yelled the elderly archaeologist and we all looked at him like he had just escaped from 'Pytel XI', the mental health penal colony.

"The warning! We have forgotten the warning about temptation! Right, Hi?" suggested Faye Valentine. He nodded and beckoned for Rio to step back and away from the opened portal.

"Easy does it, my dear. That's it. Just a few more steps. Fine. Stay there and don't move." said a now relieved Scotsman.

"An open door is clearly a temptation to take the easy way out but much is to be said for the road less travelled. Honour, devotion, truth. Guideposts along Thy lofty ways. (Sir Hiram looked up and used my laser sword's blade beam like a torch) Trish? We have need of your services again I fear. Please fly up there and see if you can find a Templar symbol. Like over the main cavern's entrance. Remember my child? Good. Up you go." he said and Trish soared up to the ceiling. A few seconds later-

"Here it is, sir! Point Edie's sword this way please. See it?" cried an elated Sister Patricia eagerly. We all saw it- the uncompleted pyramid surmounted by the all seeing eye in all of its glory.

"Press it, Trish! The third level up from the bottom. From left to right press the fourth, the third and the second stones in that order. She obediently did so and a wondrous thing happened! All four walls disappeared, the ceiling glowed with brilliant white light and the floor became as clear as glass!

Each wall, the ceiling and the rooms below were stuffed from floor to roof with books! Scrolls, papyrus, parchments, tape reels, vid-computer disks, vid disks, everything ever used to record the written, heard, seen or spoken word! This then was it- the Great Library of Alexander the Great of Terran Macedonia! Once upon a time this vast storehouse of treasure - for indeed is not knowledge the greatest treasure there ever was or ever will be my dear friends? - was ensconced in a building on Terra in Eqypt so wondrous that at one time it was one of Terra's 'Seven Wonders of the Ancient World'. The city to this day bears the name of the illustrious ruler who always sought the truth - Alexandria the great seaport of Egypt.

Sir Hiram was like a kid let loose in a candy store with a blank cheque or his Dad's vid credit chip! Not so our sometimes congenial host and hostess. Rio complained to me that we had come all the way around the Universes just to end up in a crummy old library! I wondered how we would ever be able to get down there after not even blasters, ion cannons and nitroglycine would put a dent in the 'glass floor' and I said so very loudly.

Our old Scottish archaeologist looked like Sherlock Holmes crawling around the glass floor on all fours, a hand lens, excuse me, a vid-magnifier glass in his fist. Suddenly he shouted and grabbed Angela de Roncesvalles by the arm and pointed.

"Aha! Look there! Miss de Roncesvalles! Your ring if you please!" he shouted and Angie pulled off a very unusual ring that she had worn on her right middle finger for as long as I had known her.

"This old piece of junk? Have you flipped, Pops? Uncle Giles told me it was special but I was only four years old. As I got older I just thought of it as some kind of ugly costume jewelry, you know, plain old junk. OK if you want it, here." said Angie and she pulled it off her finger and handed it to Hi. He dropped to all fours again and after a little searching stuck the ring's face into an almost invisible opening like a keyhole in the glass floor. The floor quivered and Hi stpped back. Mr Solo grabbed me and Mr Blue shoved Angie aside just in time as the floor opened and a lift car slid upwards. Beside it a spiral staircase hove into view.

"Dibs on the lift!" crowed Miss Donovan and she made a beeline for the car while our fearless leader leisurely strolled down the stairway to the huge room below us.

"Junk! Nothing but bloody books dammit! Some friggin' treasure, Harv! Rich as Croesus huh? Remind me not to fall for any more of your hare-brained schemes, Master!" screamed Natasha Ranee angrily while the rest of us howled with uncontrolled mirth.

However, Harvey Master heard none of it because he was too engrossed in finding a mysterious something known only to him!

"Where is it? Where is it dash it all? The key! The Key! Where is that blasted Key?" he mumbled while pawing through scroll after scroll. He was still at it at 2200 (10 PM) when the rest of us retired to the huge anteroom of the library to get some much needed sleep bwfore we began thinking about getting the Hell out of this mountain and back home!

END of Chapter 19. Chapter 20 of as yet undetermined titles coming soon. We are almost at the end of our narrative, folks. Not too many more chapters. See ya soon- Edie.


	20. Ch 20 'Of Dogs & BringThe Master's Key'

TRUCKS IN SPACE

Chapter 20 'Of Dogs & Bring' or 'The Master's Key'

DISCLAIMER: As always we wanna thank all the nice folks who are allowing us to use their creations. We also wanna say that anyone who wishes can use our creations so long as we are credited as their creators. Dinnertime at 1600 hours. Man, it seems like we are always stuffing ourselves, doesn't it?

Anyway we have entered the dreaded cavern in the Girol Mountains and we have been following a deciphered runic message on the scrolls as well as the Voice of Doom to give the name that Rio has hung on that booming voice that filled the cavern the instant Mr Solo had set foot inside the entrance.

Well to make a long story a jigoku of a lot shorter after many pitfalls, near disasters and plain old scary stuff we had finally found the treasure trove of old King Alex- his fabled Libary of Alexandria from ancient Terran Egypt! When our two greedy Gallifreyan treasure seekers Harvey Master and Natasha Ranee had descended into the library they seemed less than thrilled to say the least!

"Junk! Nothing but bloody books dammit! Some friggin' treasure, Harv! Rich as Croesus huh? Remind me not to fall for any more of your hare-brained schemes, Master!" screamed Natasha Ranee angrily while the rest of us howled with uncontrolled mirth.

However, Harvey Master heard none of it because he was too engrossed in finding a mysterious something known only to him!

"Where is it? Where is it dash it all? The key! The Key! Where is that blasted Key?" he mumbled while pawing through scroll after scroll. He was still at it at 2200 (10 PM) when the rest of us retired to the huge anteroom of the library to get some much needed sleep before we began thinking about getting the Hell out of this mountain and back home!

"If I were you I'd be less interested in looking for a key and a Helluva lot more interested in finding the way out of this labyrinthe, Harv. Unless this 'key' you are lookin' fer is to the back door o' this place." drawled our own Rock of Gilbraltar Mr Han Solo.

"None of you are going anywhere until I find the KEY dammit! Spread out and look for the bloody thing! It's got to be here somewhere unless The Castelain was lying!" yelled the Master angrily.

"Of course the old fool wasn't lying, Harvey. We tortured him long enough until he told us. He wouldn't have dared to lie to me and you can take that to the bank, my Master." chuckled the Ranee. Doctor 4's face was crimson with rage.

"You two tortured an old man in Gallifrey just to find this damned key of yours? That is low even for you two dogs!" he roared.

"We did not question him at the Citadel, Doctor. His interrogation took place at Miss Patricia's convent not more than five kilometres from this very spot. It would have been a lot easier for him had he simply told us where this cavern was in the first place. Instead we had to go trekking across Robin Hood's Barn to find this room when it was right under our noses all this time dammit!

"The 'key' I seek is more than likely another Runic scroll or parchment, perhaps even papyrus cloth. The only other thing The Castelain mentioned was that 'The Memory of the Stars' would lead us to the 'Ultimate Dark Bring' which is the most powerful weapon in all the Universes. It will make your puny 'God Gun' look like a child's kindergarten toy! Now find it!" commanded our usually mellow and charming host.

"D-Did you say 'Dark Bring', Mr Master?" asked a worried and terrified Elie. She was standing beside Haru Glory the RAVE Master and his hand was on her slim shoulder.

"You mentioned 'The Memory of the Stars' as well, sir?" demanded Haru angrily. Clearly both Master and Ranee were puzzled at this outburst. Haru, Elie, Pluu and Puddin' as well as the rest of the RAVE group had been well behaved and hadn't opened their traps during this journey more than a dozen times!

"What of it, Shortie?" snapped an impatient Natasha. Both Elie's and Haru's faces went white.

"Because that weapon is exactly what Lucien Raregroove the dark 'Shadow Master' and 'Dark Bring' Master has been seeking for three milennia! For the last year we have been chasing him to make damned sure he will never ever find it, ma'am, that's why." explained the boy and he seemed as agitated as all Hell too.

Even I knew that Mr Lucien was safely locked up on the penal colony of 'Seta Kaibo' and the Doc had said he was imprisoned in a 'time loop' within a 'time corridor' and he thought he was still aboard the Boss's 'LA2' starship heading beyond Pluto towards some mythical star group or was it really all that damned mythical? I was not the only one there who suddenly became ill!

"Do you know where I can find it, the 'Ultimate Dark Bring' I mean, Master Glory?" Harvey demanded eagerly.

"Even if we knowed where it was we wouldn't tell ya, sir! It's dangerous!" squealed Elie.

"Back to the search then I suppose. 'Course Harvey, what good's it gonna do ya while we're still stuck in here?" drawled Mr Solo.

"Never mind. That difficulty was anticipated and provided for, Mr Solo. Just find my 'KEY' dammit all!" shouted a very cross rogue time lord.

"I will tell you this much, sir. The Bring are Shadow Stones which fit into Lucien Raregroove's sword, the 'Decalogue' and power it so without his blade none of the 'Dark Bring' stones let alone the 'Ultimate Dark Bring' shadow stone will do you the damnedest bit of good." explained Haru Glory quietly and Elie nodded her agreement.

"You mean to tell us that this feller's got a bodacious sword thing that can wipe out a whole planet? Yer joshin' us, ain't ya?" joked Sheriff Roscoe P Coltrane from Hazzard County, Georgia in the Terran USA but Haru and Elie weren't laughing.

"My Gawd! This here seems to be an old riddle, that it do. Suh, could this possibly be the 'KEY' that y'all be a-lookin' fer?" asked Jefferson Davis 'Boss' Hogg from the same Hazzard County. Drawing out a tiny pair of pince nez spectacles (Circa 1850) 'Boss' placed them carefully on his nose and began to read from his find.

"Begin thy search from the dog who lives no more. Seeketh ye the canine of three high in the mountains of the South. He it is who shall point the way towards the Misty Twelve. Persevere and ye shall findeth the Dragon of Decalogue and his many teeth. Beware for this dragon hath a sting which must never be misused lest evil befall all of creation. Let only one of the Twelve guide thy path. Follow the wrong one and die. Follow the correct one and rejoice. May Almighty God protecteth ye on thy holy quest.

"Mean anythin' to any of you eggheads? Dr Mac? Mr Doctor? Mr Master? Miz Ranee? Reds? Mr Solo? Mr Blue? How about you, Flash? Ah knows better than to ask yer stupid master. After all the only reason ah keep him on is 'cause ah married his fat sister! Haw haw haw!" chortled 'Boss' Hogg delightedly.

"That wasn't very funny, Boss! Now you apologize to Roscoe right now!" snapped an angry Daisy Duke.

"What if ah don't?" replied a smiling Boss Hogg.

"Bo! Luke! Boss is bein' mean to Sheriff Roscoe again!" she yelled.

"Oh he is, is he? Boss, you better do like our baby cousin told ya or-" warned Luke Duke.

"Ah apologize, Roscoe. I am truly sorry that ah married yer fat sister." said Boss Hogg and he swept off his big white ten gallon hat and bowed.

"Guess that's the best we're gonna get. Leave him alone, guys." said Daisy.

"Pluto. My home world has got to be the starting point. The 'dog who lives no more' must mean the Greek god of the underworld Hades but the Romans called him Pluto. Later on the Terrans made him into a cartoon dog named Pluto on Walt Disney. I believe his master was a mouse. Now that you have your 'KEY', sir, how are we to leave this place?" asked Zoe Morton. Zoe was one of our navigators back in the 3WA. In fact she had taught the nav classes that Rio and I had attended at the Academy.

Harvey grinned and then drew out a tiny transmitter mike.

"Torg? Torg! Wake up you fool! Lock onto these co-ordinates and materialize the TARDIS around this entire section of the caverns and be quick about it. Relax dear friends. We shall be back aboard my TARDIS momentarily.

"But I am not permitted to go more than 8 kilometres from our convent, Mr Harvey, sir. The Reverend Mother will have a royal fit. I demand you take me back home immediately or I'll tell Mr Castelain on you!" squeaked our nun Sister Trish defiantly.

However, Harvey rounded on the frightened kid and shook her savagely until her teeth chattered.

"Speak! Is The Castelain here on Shimougou, girl? Where is he?" shouted Harvey and poor Trish began to cry. Of course we had left The Castelain behind at the cabin but although Harvey had already met him he had been introduced to him and the rest of us as Father Castle. Rio started to spill the beans and I kicked her in the shins.

It did no good because the frightened nun sobbed and stammered out that he knew the elderly time lord as Father Castle and that he lived at the convent. Right now though he was visiting the cabin and had been left behind to tend to the fires while we went off treasure hunting. The Master's eyes took on an evil look indeed.

"Torg! Torg! Have you re-materialized my Type 40 yet? Well hurry it up dammit! Better include that old cabin a few kilometres from you as well. Because there is a person inside it whom I dearly wish to converse with as soon as possible. Stop being so damned nosey, Torg! Now make it so. I will meet you on the control deck in five minutes." said Harvey Master.

"In case it slipped yer mind, Harv, we're still in this blasted cavern. Where the Hell's yer TARDIS?" snarled our fearless redheaded leader the Boss Lady herself.

"Follow me, my dear Marshall and I will take you back to my bridge. Stay close because although we are onboard my TARDIS there are several passageways and levels between here and there. A word of caution. If you get lost aboard my TARDIS you may never find your way off of her. Shall we proceed, my dear Lady?" invited the Master in his oiliest voice tones.

Soon we had traversed what seemed to be kilometre after kilometre of hallways, corridors, staircases, gantryways, steps, ladders and levels and thankfully arrived at the Master's bridge. Nami Richardson was overjoyed to see that all of us were back and in good shape. Zoe began replotting a course for her own home planet of Pluto while the eggheads all perused Mr Hogg's 'key' for Runes or other warning taboo signs. Sadly they found none at all which really worried Dr Hi, Mr Doctor, Mr Solo, Mr Blue and Miss Donovan.

Haru Glory and Elie were arguing with the Master and the Ranee that 'Decalogue' must never be wielded even without the 'Dark Bring' shadow stones. Harv and Natasha brushed off their fears as pointless old wives' tales.

"Have you got a target range on this old tub, Mr Harvey, sir?" asked the young RAVE Master and the Ranee pointed at the deck floor.

"Twelve levels down, kid. Why?" she demanded curiously.

"My RAVE sword is charged with only five 'Light Bring' RAVE stones but its power is tremendous. I want to show you what this blade can do but I want to do so safely, Miss Natasha." said Haru. Harvey nodded and allof us were soon trooping down to the lift cars. Very soon we were all standing in a dank cellar-like room. At the far end were all kinds of targets, come stationary, some moving. Natasha motioned for all of us to find seats behind the heavy shields constructed of translucent Kelvinite. Haru insisted that Miss Elie join us for her own safety and this she did though quite reluctantly.

"Are you ready, Master Glory?" asked Harvey and the kid yelled that he was ready and for us to watch carefully. Then he unlimbered a sword almost the same size as Mr Kurosaki's 'soul reaper zampakutou' and grasped its hilt in both of his fists. Taking a few practice swings just made the rogue time lord impatient. He kept checking his wristchromo. At last with a sweeping flourish of his sword Haru Glory 'fired' his blade like an ion cannon!

A blast of pure crimson/green flame eradicated the targets, all 2,000 of 'em! Not content with that the flame had soon turned the bulkhead of the TARDIS white hot and suddenly the entire back wall began to glow and melt!

"Stop. That is more than enough, Master Glory. Please extinguish your sword. Your point is well taken, sir but you labour under a misapprehension if you believe that I wish the 'Decalogue' and the 'Ultimate Dark Bring' shadow stone to annihilate anything. I am not as callous as all that after all.

"No. All I want is to possess the blade and stones. With just the 'threat' of those weapons I will soon bring all the worlds of all the Universes to their collective knees and I shall be the Universal Ruler of all creation! Evem those two doddering fool 'Guardians' of the Universes will be forced to bow down to me, The Master of all worlds! Now tell me all that you know of this 'Decalogue' blade and these Shadow Stones, boy! (Haru shook his head) Torg! Clap him in irons and toss him in the brig!" ordered the megalomaniacal despot of the Universes.

"Leave him alone or you'll answer to me, old man!" screamed Elie who was now armed with a pair of what looked like the cop nightsticks from 'Adam 12'! An instant later they shot fire and lead which merely bounced off Harvey's chest. Elie kept firing until her ammo had exhausted itself. Then she tossed her blasters down in disgust.

"She can keep the foolish boy company, Natasha! Put her ass in irons as well. To the brig with her dammit!" Harvey was purple with uncontrolled rage and the rest of us bolted back to the lift cars. Angie and Mr Solo had recognized where we were and had soon led us back to our dormitories in our part of the TARDIS.

There we remained until one day when Torg announced planetfall on the ninth planet of the Terran solar system- Pluto. Yeah I know the ancient Terran astrogeeks called it a star but I been there and they ain't! Trust me folks. It's a planet, not a moon, not a star, not an asteroid but an honest to goodness planet!

What happened next is a whole 'nother tale which I'll tell ya about someday soon. We were all starting to wonder when if ever we would get back home to the good old Takachiho Academy. I never thought I'd ever miss that old pile of Kelvinite and Vulkoid but dammit all I did. All of a sudden I knew where we would find our next clue even before we had set foot on this iceworld. Do you know where to find the 'Canine of Three' in the 'high mountains of the South'? Patience and all will be revealed very soon.

END of Chapter 20. Watch for the next adventure coming soon.


End file.
